Ship of Fools
by InsaneMelon
Summary: COMPLETE When a secret admirer of Rodney McKay begins to get a little bit too close for comfort it's up to his team to help him figure it out. And Sheppard has to deal with some startling feelings himself. -McShep, Slash-
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **Nothing's mine, just playing with them! Please don't sue me, I don't have money..._

_**Season**: Somewhere late season 2 or early season 3, it's up to you_

_**Spoilers:** None really...I'll give you a heads up if that should change_

_**Warnings:** The pairing is McShep so there will be Slash, albeit nothing too graphic_

_**Status:** WIP but the first few chapters are already written and updates should occur every few days_

_**A/N**: Okay this is my first fanfiction ever, and to top that, it's not even written in my native language. I read this over and over but I'm quite sure I couldn't catch all mistakes so I'm asking you to be gentle and if you find any MAJOR mistake, please let me know! *begs* I will also try to do my best to stay in character. If I should fail too hard please let me know. __So, here is the rather short (more a long prologue) chapter of SoF_

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1. The Wonderous Technique of 'Accept and Pass On'

"Oh, what now?"

Every head in the science department turned towards the familiar voice and the even more familiar tone of barely concealed annoyance which almost always accompanied Dr. Rodney McKays words.

Most of them already knew the reason for McKays little outburst and tried to pretend that they were working on something marvelous while listening very closely as Radek Zelenka made his way towards his obstinate friend and colleague.

No one missed the mischievous grin on his face.

"Well Rodney, shouldn't that be my question?"

McKay just grumbled something unintelligible as he picked up the card which was secured to the bunch of flowers that were lying prone on his desk.

He immediately recognized them as flowers from the mainland. The extraordinary shade of purple had intrigued him from the first time he'd seen them.

The Athosians had etablished some kind of mushy tradition when they'd decided to welcome every visitor with a bunch of these flowers. They were apparently spreading on an open field nearby their settlement.

Cautious of his allergies, Rodney'd made his own little tradition and had always immediately given his share to Teyla as soon as they reached the Puddle Jumper. She always accepted them with a genuine smile, grateful that the often difficult man had waited until they were out of sight of her people.

So even though he found them quite pretty, he had never felt the urge to plaster his environment with them. And now some imbecile had decided to use his own technique of 'Accept and Pass on' against him.

'_Well'_ Rodney thought, while he began to read the hand written message, _'don't think I won't find out who you..'_

And that's when it that he would deny for the rest of his life: Rodney McKay, self-proclaimed genius of two galaxies stopped thinking all together and couldn't bring himself to form any coherent line of thoughts while his face turned into a rather unhealthy shade of red in front of his whole science staff.

Almost every scientist misplaced the sudden turn of colors for the sign of an upcoming burst of good ol' McKay rage and rather comically tried to reach all at once the farthest end of the lab, even harder trying to convince themselves and their boss that the work they did would change the world as they knew it.

Only Zelenka noticed the wide open, rapidly blinking blue eyes and the slightly O-shaped mouth which let the head scientist appear not so much angered as...embarrassed?

No longer able to fight his own curiousity the Czech took some hestitant steps and began to read the note over McKay's shoulder, positiv that Rodney wouldn't mind, not to mention notice what he was doing.

Already after the first few lines he too felt the heat creep onto his cheeks.

_*~*~*_

_'My Precious,_

_I'm glad to see that your last mission went quite well again and I'm once more able to admire your piercing blue eyes and fine ass while you walk down the halls. __I tried to fight the urge to let you know how much I desire your mind and body but I'm no longer able to do so. __So don't worry my precious this sign of my love won't be the last one._

_Yours truly,_

_Scientist's lover'_

*~*~*

Rodney seemed to snap out of his stupor when Zelenka reached the last few words.

Oddly enough, he only shot a few daggers at Zelenka for reading this rather personal note without his permission and crumpled the piece of paper to throw it roughly the way the bin was supposed to be.

"Why would you do that? There seems to be a lady out there who would like to get to know you." Zelenka asked with a raised eyebrow, banishing the doubt if a 'lady' would mention something like a "fine ass" in a love letter.

McKay seemed to think in rather similar ways.

"Are you kidding?" he hissed in a harsh whisper, more alert to all the eavesdropping ears in the room than he let on, "This is nothing more than a stupid joke. Not even the most dumb and lovesick woman would write something like this and place it in an open lab where everyone can see it."

And almost like an afterthought Rodney added: " And even if it was the real thing, I'm not interested."

Zelenka was a little taken aback by his friends outright rejection of the mysterious admirer, real or not, and an idea formed in his mind.

"Is there already someone else?"

He had fully expected Rodney to freak out and yell at him to mind his own buissness. But surprisingly he just stared with distant eyes at an imaginary point a little bit above Zelenkas shoulder and looked honestly thoughtful for a moment before he gave a little shrug as if to dismiss his own thoughts only to answer seconds later with an uncharacteristically soft and hestitant "Maybe... there really is."

Suddenly he snapped out of it and once again put on his mask of annoyance and superiority.

"But maybe you could begin work on the calculations I asked of you hours ago instead of standing here and asking me stupid questions. So unless you have something productive to say, which I doubt, I'd say you go back to work before I have to do everything on my own as usual."

Something about the tone warned Zelenka to ask more questions or to remind Rodney that he had ordered the calculations just half an hour ago.

So he just watched when his difficult friend walked away with not so much as a backward glance at the flowers and oblivious or simply not caring for the glances he received from various of his colleagues.

Zelenka though _did_ notice them and bent down to pick up the crumpled note to put it in his pocket.

_'We don't need more gossip here',_ he thought when he picked up the flowers and searched for something like a vase.

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Near the door, just out of earshot, a tall man was smiling fondly at the retreating back of his precious scientist while his friend picked up the flowers.

He hadn't expected for his love to react all happy and touched by his little gesture because he knew this had to be a little bit overwhelming for the good doctor, considering that not everyone here on Atlantis showed him the affection and respect he deserved.

_'But'_ the man promised silently while he retreated into the dark _'you will soon understand how much I love you.'_

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_Please R&R (even though there is not much to review about, just tell me what you think). Nevertheless there should be the next chapter tomorrow or the day after._

_InsaneMelon_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer**__:__ Don't own anything, just playing with them._

_And the __**rating **__is obviously for the language and violence (later on) and malexmale thingys!^^_

_**A/N**__: Wow I didn't think that I would get so many reviews and story alerts for a chapter even I personally didn't like that much. Thank you __**very**__ much for your encouragement and I hope you'll like this chapter too. Some team interaction in this one, hope I got it right.^^_

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2. Do. Not. Piss Off. Your Mascot. (AKA: Stupid)

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

Rodney McKay paced in his office, arms tightly crossed over his broad chest with a sour look on his face, reflecting on what just happened.

Well, it was a rather simple question to answer for the annoyed man; he had almost confessed his foolish crush on a certain Airforce Colonel to a co-worker!

And wouldn't that truly have been one stupid move?

Rodney finally stopped his motions, only to hug himself more tightly with a feeling of dread and exhaustion. The reason why his little secret had almost slipped was way more complicated and for Rodney also a little bit frightening.

In fact, the Czech had surprised Rodney with the sudden questioning of his love life and he found himself confused by his own actions.

Rodney didn't know why he wasn't at least taking the letter a little bit more seriously or why he wasn't at least feeling a little bit flattered by its contents.

He just knew instantly that his secret crush _('Oh Rodney, stop calling it that; only little girls have crushes'_) didn't write it because he would have recognized his writing everywhere.

When this realization had hit home, he'd immediately lost all interest in this person.

If there was even one to begin with.

This dismissal had happened so quick and naturally that he had been slightly shocked by his own behaviour and had begun to wonder if you could still call it a "crush" when you are not even willing to consider other possibilities than to be with the cocky, good looking guy who happens to be on your team.

Didn't that mean that there was more to his feelings?

That question had rung through his mind, while he had been in the lab, staring into nothing. He had once more realized that his mouth worked too fast for his own good when he'd blurted out the only answer his confused brain could come up with.

_Maybe there really is._

And that was such an insufficient answer for a genius like himself that he really wished he had more hair so that he could tussel it in frustration now.

And he really hoped that he had been able to distract Zelenka with his usual barking enough to avoid further questioning in the future.

He really didn't need that now.

Midway through a deep weary sigh his radio chirped and the voice of the person troubling his thoughts floated trough his ear.

_"Sheppard to McKay."_

At the distress in Sheppards voice McKay cringed inwardly, wondering if the Colonel had sensed his oncoming surge of panic through all of Atlantis, even though his right mind told him that the very idea was ridiculous.

"What is it Colonel?" Rodney snapped back, proud of himself for sounding like his usual busy self.

There was something akin to amusement when the Colonel answered.

_"Rodney you didn't forget that we all had a date for lunch in the mess hall, exactly five minutes ago didn't you?"_

Rodney felt himself getting annoyed when he realized that Sheppard probably allready knew that he indeed _had_ forgotten his appointment with Ronon, Teyla and John over his work and that the Colonel was just making fun of him. Again.

"Well, when they would send me decent scientists instead of these untrained morons, maybe I wouldn't have to do all the work by myself to ensure that it's done right. So I'm afraid that I can't..."

His rant was cut short by Sheppard, who sounded much too pleased with himself.

_"There is chocolate cake for dessert. Or make that, there was 'cause it's already out-of-stock now and I don't know how much longer I can prevent Ronon from grabbing the one I saved for you..."_

Rodney could almost hear the smirk on Sheppards lips as his voice trailed of.

"You know colonel, some would consider luring a man with chocolate cake as pure evil" he replied on his way towards the mess hall. "Oh and inform Ronon that if he wants to enjoy a hot bath the next two weeks the cake better has to be still there when I arrive. McKay out."

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When Rodney reached the mess hall it was just in time to see how Ronon's hands crept toward a piece of chocolate cake sitting in front of the empty seat they'd saved for him.

"Stop right there Chewbacca!" Rodney barked while he let himself fall down in front of the Satedan.

He played briefly with the idea to give the big hands a playful slap but self-preservation took over in the end, especially when said Satedan pulled back with a dark scowl.

Only months ago this look would have scared Rodney shitless. But not anymore.

Well, at least not much.

Rodney found it rather nice how their daily lunch had become a pleasant habit, with a constant routine; while Ronon was hunched over his meal , Sheppard stretched lazily in his chair, the perfect image of the nonchalant leader. Teyla meanwhile continued to drink her tea, occasionally throwing a dissaproving glance at her bickering teammates.

Rodney felt himself calm down and the ominous lettler disappeared into a far corner of his mind.

"Oh please, you will never get rid of your crumpy image when you keep acting like that, Conan." he drawled through a smirk, self-preservation momentarily forgotten.

"I think it suits him." Sheppard tossed in and quickly hid a smile when Ronon shot daggers his way.

"Nyu zink?" Rodney shot back through a mouth full of cake.

"Sure, I mean he's like our little pissed off mascot."

The scientist swallowed loudly and made a grimace. "You're not serious right? I mean, he totally lacks the spirit." His hand didn't abandon the fork while he gestured wildly, causing Teyla to duck away from him. Oblivious to this he continued "Just because he is big and has funny hair, _as you do by the way_, he doesn't fit the description."

"Well he keeps _you _walking with his cheering." Sheppard drawled with an emphasis on 'you', deliberately ignoring the hair comment.

A disbeliefing snort escaped Rodney.

"I wouldn't call 'Move your ass McKay' cheering."

"But you move it."

"Well, let me tell you Colonel that I..." before he could continue a hand on his arm stopped him cold and he redirected his attention to Teyla.

Oddly enough she was frowning and didn't look his way when she asked "Please tell me, Rodney. What is this 'mascot' you are talking about. I am unfamiliar with the term."

Puzzled by her tight voice, Rodney followed he gaze and felt his heart sink like a stone.

Ronon had silently listened to their conversation but his gaze and posture showed that he was anything but calm.

_'Oh my' _Rodney thought, _'he looks pissed. Well, more than usual.'_

Sheppard sensed the danger at the same time and scooted some inches away, as if afraid that Ronon's fierce glare could burn him.

"W- Well a mascot... you know.. it's.." Rodney stammered throwing his teamleader a look that was accusing and pleading at the same time.

"A warrior" Sheppard almost shouted. "A mascot is a warrior, who keeps his people fighting in difficult times during battle."

Teylas eyebrows rose unbelievingly and Rodney threw his friend one of his famous _'Are you really that stupid?'_ looks, but Ronon's eyes just furrowed slightly before the impassive look returned.

"That's nice."

Sheppard nodded enthusiastically, obviously relieved. "It sure is, big guy."

Sometimes Rodney wondered how John had managed to lead them through all these dangerous missions alive when he didn't even sensed the menacing undertone in the voice of one of his own team members.

A glance at Teyla and her amused yet clearly worried expression told him that he didn't imagined the calm dread that emanated from the warrior.

This was far from over.

Suddelnly he felt the urge for some coffee so he left the table (and an angry Wraith killer) and walked to the counter, taking more time than he actually needed.

When he returned he felt relief wash over him. In the meantime the topic of the conversation had changed once more and Ronon actually looked amused.

"....surprisingly not that bad." Rodney heard Sheppard say when he rejoined them. "They are a little bit wet behind the ears but nothing some sparring with Ronon won't change."

His smile was surprisingly evil. Almost as evil as Ronon's.

"I take it you are talking about the new personnel that came with the Daedalus?" Rodney asked with a frown on his face.

"Don't tell me you already tortured your new scientists? At least we wait until tomorrow."

Teylas brows drew together at the word 'torture', clearly not liking the sound of it.

_'Probably because she is in for tomorrows session too_.' Rodney though wryly. _'But just because you are beaten with sticks by a beautiful woman doesn't make the experience less painful.'_

"Well" he said aloud "at least they know from the start that I want them to be more than trained monkeys."

In fact his little "opening speech" had scared the newbies so bad, that they hadn't touched much of anything the rest of the day and not one had had the courage to go near him without shifting nervously from foot to foot.

A smug smile played on his lips. Let's see how Sheppard or Ronon would manage to make their Marines cringe in fear just using their voices.

"You should not scare them too much, Rodney."

Ah Teyla, always the nice one. Although nobody missed the tiny smile that had touched her lips.

"The longer they are cautious, the longer it will take them to make their first attempt to blow up the whole city."

"Won't make friends with that McKay." Ronon grumbled without taking his eyes off his full plate.

Rodney gaped at the Satedan like he had just confessed to be in fact a really bulky woman.

"Friends?" he squawked "It's not my job to be their friend or to hold their hands when they activate a device which turnes them in the monkeys they are. My job is to prevent them from causing a catasthrope. I don't need to be liked to do that."

The predatory smile that crossed Ronons otherwise impassive face caused Rodney to shift uncomfortably on his seat. He couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had just tapped in a trap.

He raised the mug to his face to cover his discomfort when Ronon just shrugged.

"Someone seems to like you though."

Rodney swallowed some more caffein, trying to ignore the knot forming in his stomach.

"And what does that mean?" asked Sheppard with a suspicious look on his face.

"McKay got flowers today." Ronon replied, as casual as one would talk about the weather.

Rodneys reaction was a little bit more drastic. He choked on his coffee and fought desperately to regain some composure while he coughed harshly.

So he missed the rapid blinking and rather shocked eyes of one Colonel and the little sound of pleasant surprise of one Athosian.

One look through watering eyes at devilish amused ones across the table told Rodney all he needed to know.

Despite his predicament he managed to roll his eyes. _'Oh very mature, Conan.'_

Teyla beamed at the revelation.

"Flowers? I am very pleased to hear that Rodney."

Sheppard instead focused his attention on Ronon, looking clearly puzzled.

"How'd you know?"

"It's the number one gossip in the labs. Every scientist wonders who would do something like that."

Rodney was momentarily flabbergasted and not just because Ronon just used the word 'gossip' in a sentence.

"Hey, I'm a good looking and damn smart man. They should wonder why I didn't get some earlier." he huffed, chin defiantly stuck out.

Teyla just smiled more, looking disturbingly young. "You are right, Rodney."

Rodney nodded at her with an approving smile but wondered secretly if she was serious and not just mocking him.

"So", she continued "who is it from?"

"Well..."

"Oh I bet it's from a poor Marine who wants some hot water again after he'd made you mad." Sheppard interupted, looking much too certain and even Teyla looked thoughtful for a moment as if considering the possibility.

Ronon just smirked his evil smirk without looking up. "Probably."

Rodney found himself growing more and more agitated. So apparently the Colonel thought he only got a gift when people wanted something from him.

The thought troubled him.

Without even realizing what he did he turned to Teyla (after a short glance at Sheppard) and said in a voice, loud enough to be heard at the nearby tables "I got them from a secret admirer."

Now it was Sheppards turn to choke on his coffe and even though Rodney couldn't see his face the sound brought him back to earth.

The knowledge of what he'd just did hit him full force and before anyone could see his red face and before a very eager Teyla could shower him with questions, he rose from his seat.

"Anyway, I have much work to do, err, you know, scare some minions, save the city and hey, while I'm on it, the galaxy." and before he even finished he was on his way leaving behind some very confused team members.

God, why had he said that? Even he himself believed that the flowers were just a bad joke so what had gotten into him?

There had been no reason to reveal the secret admirer thing. He could have let them know that it was probably just a joke. They thought so anyway, except for Teyla maybe.

He even could have gone with Sheppard's story.

And that's when it hit him and he stopped in his tracks, a look of horror on his face.

Just before Sheppard had made that comment he had planned just that: saying that it was just a joke, nothing serious, and to let life go on.

But then Sheppard had joked about it and Rodney hadn't liked the way he had dismissed it so lightly and he'd just wanted Sheppard to take it seriously and...

"Oh my god." he breathed and wished he could just disappear into the floor right now, embarrassed by his own antics.

He had wanted Sheppard to get jealous.

He had acted like one of those dumb lovesick women he resented so much.

And wasn't that just _exceedingly _stupid?

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A/N: I get a kick out of the idea that Ronon is a bit of a 'tattletale'! =)

Hope you liked it even though I just know that there were grammatical errors of doom everywhere! R&R please

(Next chapter(s) this weekend)


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Still don't own anything -.-_

_**A/N:**__ Wow most of you liked the part with which I was really unsure...Thank you very much for your reviews, I love every single on of them! But for __**HyperMint**__'s question__**:**__ Well I don't want to spoiler you, but lets just say: I'm a sucker for Happy endings! *winkwink* And __**Jack_rocks**__: Don't worry; I plan many twists and turns for this trip. :)_

_Have fun with the third chapter, and please R&R._

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3. Of Horny School Nurses and Inconvenient Surprises

John Sheppard wasn't in a good mood. He was grumpy and tired and to make things worse he couldn't even bring himself to enjoy the sparring with the new recruits, something that could lighten his mood everytime.

He was sure it wasn't Ronon's fault. Contrary, Ronon seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood, his smile so wide that it seemed more like the bared teeth display of a kid burning some ants with his loupe.

_'Maybe that's not too far from the truth.'_

Sheppard lips twitched a little when he saw how the Satedan towered over a cringing Marine, but it didn't last long.

No, he was definitely not in a good mood. Far from it.

Teyla had sensed his uneasiness at once and shot him from time to time a sympathetic look, which only served to unnerv him even more. Sometimes he really couldn't stand how Teyla acted like she knew exactly how he felt. Probably because she really did.

He catched himself how he looked at his watch _(again) _and cursed inwardly. No need to show too clearly how badly he wanted this session to end so he could check on one annoying scientist.

Sheppards scrowl grew.

Only Rodney could make him this edgy.

_'No' _John thought furiously _'not just Rodney, but Rodney and flowers.'_

He had spent the first half of the night trying to convince himself that he was just concerned as a team leader. That he couldn't let Rodney loose focus offworld because he was musing about an unknown admirer (even though he had to admit that Rodney hadn't seemed too impressed or concerned about it before Ronon had mentioned it).

When he had realised, with a frustrated sigh, that his position as the team leader of SGA-1 couldn't justify an interference in this rather personal matter, he had decided that he should see to this situation as a friend.

As a _best friend, _who wanted to save his friend from getting hurt or experience something embarrassing.

Sheppard had shuddered when he remembered his own "secret admirer" incident in high school, when the sweet little girl, who sended sweet little notes, had turned out to be the school nurse who had a thing for little boys. Of course she was fired almost immediately, but he'd never got rid of the immage of a womanizer who wouldn't even hold back on the school personnel.

He'd come to the conclusion that it was his obligation to prevent something like that from happening to his best friend, so he'd decided to search for Rodney after the sparring and to try and talk to him.

A little voice in the back of his mind told him that it wasn't his usual behaviour to dig into some other guys business and he knew that it was right, but not entirely.

_'Rodney isn't just some guy. He's the best friend I have since years.'_

But there was no reason to be so _nervous_ about this oncoming conversation. Even though Rodney would never admit it, John knew that he listened to him more than to anyone else and that John's opinion actually mattered to him.

With no little pride Sheppard had noticed that he had even "_surpassed" _Carson , who after all knew Rodney longer that anyone else, when the Canadian had passed up an invitation for lunch from the good doctor, to be able to watch some DVD's with John.

John couldn't help the goofy grin that had been plastered on his face the entire evening but if Rodney noticed something he hadn't mentioned it.

So this conversation should be as easy as pie, shouldn't it? No reason to be nervous. He even suspected that Rodney would be secretly grateful for a good advice, considering his total lack of experience in this matter. And John just knew that Rodney hadn't much experience, judging by the way his face had gone bright red at lunch yesterday.

Absentmindedly, John thought that the color had looked good on the otherwise pale skin.

A tap on his shoulder jerked him from his train of thoughts and he realized that Teyla was standing right next to him, a concerned look on her face. He had to restrain a chuckle when he saw her various sparring partners sitting on the floor, tending their bruised and gaping at the Athosian who hadn't even broken a sweat.

"John is everything alright? I have called you for some time."

"Just peachy" John snapped, unable to contain his bad temper.

Teyla just blinked at him, unaffected by his little outburst. "You seem a little bit, how do you phrase it, put out."

A weary sigh escaped Sheppards lips. Teyla just blinked some more.

"He doesn't know how to speak with McKay."

Sheppard whirled around, just in time to see Ronon grabbing a towel and making his way towards the door. "Oh great! Now the big scary guy decides he wants to be the _sensitive_ big scary guy." Sheppard muttered under his breath, hoping that Teyla would sense his discomfort and let it go.

"Why would you want to speak with Rodney?"

Well so much for that. But with Teyla it was better to come straight to the point.

Sometimes it was scary how fast she discovered a lie when you told her one.

"I thought I should talk with Rodney, well you know" he lowered his voice to a wisper "about this secret admirer thing." He didn't know what he expected but it sure wasn't her approval.

"I believe you are right to do so."

"Really?" John could have slapped himself. "I mean, sure it is! But I thought you, well..." he trailed of, self-consciously, but Teyla just raised an eyebrow, asking him to continue. "I had the impression that you were more excited than Rodney himself."

A light blush touched her cheeks but she retained her composure.

"It does not happen often that something like this happens around here." There she stopped, looking almost a little bit sheepish, "but I have thought about it during my meditation and I must say that I do not have a good feeling about this after all."

And hell, but didn't that just sum it up nicely?

"A bad feeling. Exactly."

They shared a short knowing look. It wasn't like they thought that Rodney was unable to attract attention and conquer some hearts, but you had to know him to realize that under all this sarcastic attitude there was hidden a loyal, funny and altogether very good friend.

But Rodney showed this side just a handful other people outside of the team. And it was quite clear to Sheppard that neither Elizabeth nor Cadman (who'd had an close encounter with Rodney of the extraordinary kind) would send him flowers. At least not for this purpose.

So it was understandably a little bit hard to believe that someone could be honestly attracted to someone quite this irritating, without actually knowing the real McKay.

Sheppard knew that he was a little bit too happy at the prospect of someone sharing the same worries with him, but it just felt good to know that he wasn't the only one feeling uneasy about this whole thing.

And that had nothing to do with the fact that it was _Rodney_ who had gotten the flowers. Nothing at all.

"So you want to back me up?" he asked, convinced that their negotiator would find the right words.

"I fear that I will not be able to accompany you John,." He didn't buy the apologetical look for one second "I already have an appointment with Dr. Heightmeyer for lunch."

And with that she was gone, leaving behind a dumbstruck John.

* * *

He found Rodney in his lab where he was hunched over his laptop, typing furiously and muttering to himself. Sheppard mood lightened immediately at the sight and the opportunity to mock his friend a little.

A day without a cranky Rodney was a lost day in John's books.

"Wassup McKay?" Sheppards smirk got wider when Rodney's muttering just got a little bit louder in reply.

"_'Wassup McKay?' _Did you get stuck in your teenage years somewhere along the way, Colonel?" His eyes never left the screen.

"You sound like my grandfather."

That got Rodneys attention and he shot Sheppard a dirty look. "Oh please, could you have found a more immature reply than that?!"

"Actually, I'm pretty confident I could if you would give me some minutes."

Rodney rolled his eyes and redirected his attention back to his work. "Don't bother. I don't want you to think too hard. God knows what it would do to your brain."

Sheppard couldn't see his face but the grin in Rodneys voice had been unmistakable and he felt himself relax even more, despite the insult. When Rodney realized that there was no comeback he once again turned in his seat, managing to look both annoyed and curious.

"Is there something you need Colonel, except displaying your childish remarks, because some of us are trying to work here."

_'Ok John, here goes nothing.'_

"Actually yeah... I wanted to talk to you..." he trailed off, at a loss for words. Rodney huffed impatiently "Well you did." John tried to continue as if he'd never stopped "about what you told us yesterday."

"What do you mean?"

Oh darn it! Trust McKay to make things more awkward than they already are.

"You know about the flowers and..." he stopped when an odd look crossed Rodneys face and he began to pick nervously at his sleeve.

"Oh."

The following silence made Sheppard really uncomfortable and he wondered if he had done a mistake. But then Rodney exhaled loudly and he seemed to regain a bit of his old self confidence.

"Yeah about that, although I think it would be time that everyone realized what a good catch I am, I am quite certain that it was just a joke. You know, the flowers and the letter." At the last sentence he waved his hand like others would wave away some flies.

"Really?" With a funny feeling in his gut Sheppard realized that he was more relieved than he should be.

Then he realized something else. "Wait, there was a note?"

"Well, duh? How else do you think I knew what the flowers were all about?"

"Do you still have it?" On the outside he was as calm as ever but his inner voice screamed at him 'Dumbass', 'Idiot', 'Jerk' and much more unpleasant things.

Rodney leaned back and crossed his arms, clearly intrigued by the Colonels odd question. "Why?" he quirked an amused eyebrow "Need tips, Kirk?"

Oh thank god, banter! He could handle mindless banter.

"Oh you know Rodney, I just would like to know what would make you blush like a little girl."

"I don't blush!" Rodney spluttered while his cheeks turned pink.

_'I was right' _Sheppard thought _'It suits him.'_

"I have a problem with my blood pressure, this has nothing to do with the letter!"

"Sure McKay" Sheppard drawled "So, you still have it."

"What?"

Sometimes John couldn't tell if the confused professor act was real or just a way to distract others from unpleasant topics. But he was pretty sure, this time, it was the latter.

"McKay..."

At the warning tone in Sheppards voice McKay surrendered and threw his arms in the air with an exaggerated sigh "Oh fine, Mr. Want-to-know-it-all, I threw it away!"

To this point in his life, John Sheppard never really knew how hard it could be to hide a smile. "You did?"

His friend seemed to mistake suppressed joy for suspicion because he squirmed a little in his chair and looked mighty uncomfortable. "It was quite," and here his face contorted into a grimace like he had bitten into something sour, "'_direct' _and disconcerting" There was the wave again. "Nothing I would like to take seriously, let alone show someone."

Sheppard frowned a bit. That didn't sound good. Maybe he hat been right after all to investigate a bit. "And you are sure that it was just a joke?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." he cast Sheppard a dubious look.

"Oh come on Colonel" Rodney drawled, while grabbing his jacket and making his way towards the door, an unspoken invitation for lunch "don't worry so much. This will have been the first and last thing we heard from this _'Scientist's Lover'._"

And with that he opened the door and almost stumbled over a bunch of flowers lying right in front of it.

Rodney just stared at them but John couldn't shake off the feeling, that he stood in front of a time bomb and he felt his hands clench into fists at his side.

"What did you say, Rodney?"

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A/N: _Creepy~~~ _and _well, well, well Rodney; seems like your "plan" was a success after all, heh?! lol _

_I just love possesive/over-protective Sheppard, he's so fun to write! More of him tomorrow cause the next chapter is more like a direct continuation of this one and needs to be posted soon after to maintain the flow...or something like that! *grin*_

_See you tomorrow!^^_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything.

_**A/N**__: Just two things: Remember, they don't know it's a guy and second, I don't know if the planet has seasons like summer and winter but in this little story it has, okay?!^^ (I didn't read this over as much as I would have liked to, so don't shoot me for any obvious mistakes)_

_Love your reviews, keep them coming!^^_

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4. Spooky Flowers In A Winter Wonderland

Rodney couldn't see Sheppards face but it was like the whole room was suddenly full of tension, making it hard to breath.

_'Why now?' _he thought furiously, while he still gaped at the flowers and the note to his feet.

When Sheppard had strolled into his lab and asked him about yesterday, Rodney had immediately sensed that there was more to it than just blunt curiosity, although he couldn't put a finger on it. So he had used this chance to erase his earlier mistake and told Sheppard that the whole thing was fake, just a joke. Suddenly Sheppard had seemed more concerned than curious and he'd found himself happy and uncomfortable with this notion at the same time. Lunch would have been the perfect opportunity to distract the Colonel from this rather embarrassing topic, but just as he thought he'd made it, he'd almost tripped over these stupid flowers.

'_God' _he thought _'is the whole universe out to get me?'_

Before he could make a move, Sheppard bent down and picked them up, carrying them to the table in the center of the room.

'He looks like he's carrying a bomb' Rodney thought wryly before he realized that he should probably protest. "Hey!" he yelled after closing the door again "Don't you think this is a bit invasive?" He tried to snap the piece of paper out of Sheppards hands but he just ducked away from his grip while continuing to unfold the note.

"Come on McKay, you said so yourself: it's just a joke."

Due to his own growing agitation, Rodney missed the strain in Sheppards voice, despite the teasing words.

Rodney couldn't believe that he allowed Sheppard to read the note. Sure he had tried to wrest it from him, but he had to admit that he hadn't tried too hard. If he really wanted to he could prevent it form happening, mostly because Sheppard wasn't the type of guy, who would invade his privacy without his consent.

No, fact was, he slowly began to feel anxious about this whole thing. Not that he found it impossible for someone to like him in a romantic way. Okay, so he wasn't the most pleasant person to be around with and he did his best to let everyone know that, but the time on Atlantis had shown him that there were people who still liked him and that he was even able to establish relationships with others without needing to completely change himself.

So when something like this would have been unbelievable for him just a few years ago, now it didn't surprise him as much as he thought it would.

No, what worried him was the shape this thing took on.

Whoever had sent him the flowers must have done so in the few minutes when he had talked to Sheppard. He twitched with uneasiness when he considered that this someone had maybe even eavesdropped without their knowledge.

It made him feel vulnerable and exposed and he didn't like that. Not at all.

So, although his expression showed annoyance he was rather relieved to see that Sheppard took matters into his own hands. When the Colonel told him it was harmless he was sure he would at least feel not nearly as paranoid as he did right now.

After all, Sheppard was the military guy and would recognize a wicked soul when he saw one.

But instead of his paranoia it was his momentary relief that vanished the longer he watched Sheppard's gradually darkening expression.

That was _so_ not a good sign.

"What is it Sheppard?" Sheppard didn't seem to hear him and was still fixated on the message. "Colonel?" he tried again with a hint of impatience in his voice.

Nothing.

"John!"

That got him finally a reaction and hazel eyes teared themselves from the paper and settled on him.

Rodney felt a weird mix of embarrassment and excitement over calling the Colonel by his first name, something he was still unused to do. John just stared at him with an unreadable expression and Rodney began to feel self-concious under the intense gaze.

"What's wrong?" As if he didn't already know _what_ was wrong if the note was even roughly like the first one.

After a few moments Sheppard visibly snapped out of whatever had a hold of him and looked slightly chagrined back to the note.

"Well, you were right." At Rodneys questioning look he continued "That's quite... _'direct_'."

Rodney felt the heat creep up his collar and suddenly wished he hadn't let Sheppard read the note, uneasy feeling or not.

"I-I told you." God this was humiliating. "So it's just a joke, right?" And he so did _not_ plead.

John shot him a reassuring grin. "I'm quite sure it is. But if you'll feel better I could look at the video footage for this corridor so we will now for sure who's the wisecracker."

"You know Colonel, sometimes you are smarter than you look."

"Geez, thank you Rodney."

Rodney let the sarcastic remark wash over him. The little insult had been necessary because..._damn, why hadn't he thought of that_? Wasn't he supposed to be the genius here? Besides, it was one thing to admire the man, but another to let him solve his personal problems, especially problems of this kind.

His secret heart throb investigating his secret admirer... he didn't think that would be a good idea.

"Thank you Colonel, but I can do that myself."

"No backtalk Rodney!" Sheppard said and before Rodney could object he was standing in the open doorway and shot him this stupid, yet somehow adorable flyboy grin. "I'll handle this and you work your little science-magic until I get back."

Rodney just stared at the door even long after it was closed again.

"Science-magic?" he muttered "How the hell can science be magic?"

He failed to surpress a smile at the warm feeling that flowed through him at the knowledge that Sheppard cared enough for his well being to sacrifice some of his free time for him. And if you are into a straight person you'll take what you get.

And exactly that was the reason why Rodney McKay didn't chase after John Sheppard, but instead seated himself, content that the problem got taken care of, and continued to work.

After just a few minutes he was so engrossed in his new project that he totally forgot that the note was still in Sheppards hands and that he himself hadn't even glanced at it.

* * *

While Rodney worked in his lab, John Sheppard made his way through the hallways of Atlantis.

Those who met and greeted him never would have thought that under the smile and casual stride raged a storm of different and altogether confusing emotions. Nobody notized the way his right hand was buried in his pocket, so nobody could have possibly seen how exactly this hand clenched a piece of paper in its fist.

Only when he rounded a corner which led to a more remote part of the city he let the mask fall.

Agonizingly slow he extracted the note from his pocket and could do nothing but stare at it with a dangerous expression on his face, while he leaned back against the wall, hidden in shadows.

To say that he was confused would have been the understatement of the year.

The note was certainly quite straightforward in what the author saw in and thought about Rodney but what confused him was more the way he himself had reacted to its contents.

His eyes once more roamed over some of the heated highlights; _'broad shoulders'... 'luscious mouth'... 'piercing blue eyes'_ and again (although he couldn't know that) the _'fine ass'_.

And again he felt himself grow hot and short of breath. Especially when his thoughts turned back to the point when he had finally teared his eyes off those words and had looked at Rodney instead. And his surprise when suddenly he had seen all that: the broad shoulders, a slightly crooked mouth and his ocean blue eyes he'd never even noticed. It was like someone had suddenly lifted a curtain from his eyes and all he could do was stare, stare, stare and wonder why he wanted Rodney to turn around so he could see a certain part of his backside too. It wasn't Rodneys call but exactly that thought that had him snap out of it and trying to cover up his little slip as best as he could.

Now he felt annoyed and oddly panicked at once.

Annoyed, because someone had noticed McKay in a way he, his best friend, hadn't and that he had needed this someone to point all those qualities out to him. And panicky, because he couldn't help but think that this _'Scientist's Lover' _was damn right with everything and that he couldn't banish the picture of Rodney, standing in the middle of all those acient machines, skin a little bit flushed lips partly open below those blue, blue eyes.

Sheppard shaked his head as if he could also shake off the memory.

What the hell was wrong with him? So he had noticed that Rodney was actually a pretty good looking guy, but that didn't explain in the slightest why he had suddenly felt the urge to leave the lab (and Rodney), afraid something could happen they both would regret later on.

And he absolutely didn't want to think about what this _"something" _was. Absolutely not!

When he heard people coming his way, he hid the note in his pocket and set out for the gate room. This time his pace was fast and determined and this time he didn't waste time for smiles and greetings.

His confusing thoughts about Rodney hadn't been the only reason for his abrupt departure; he had sensed that Rodney was troubled about this whole incident even thought he had tried to literally "wave" it off and to appear unafraid.

John didn't like a troubled Rodney. Not at all. So he would find this secret admirer and tell her to stay the hell away from _his_ scientist.

And if that sounded possessive, he didn't really care.

* * *

"What do you mean, there is nothing?" Sheppard asked minutes later, trying to sound calmer than he felt.

"Just what I said," the gate technican replied while replaying the video footage once more, "whoever did this must have replaced the few minutes you search with an earlier recording of this floor."

And indeed, the minutes after Sheppard entered the lab showed nothing but an empty floor before suddenly, just seconds before Rodney stumbled over them, the flowers appear out of nothing on the threshold.

Sheppard growled darkly after he watched the video for a fourth time. There was nothing, not even a suspicious shadow, just nothing! The recording was timed perfectly: if you didn't search for it, you would have missed the bunch, lying partly hidden behind the small door frame, just the peduncles sticking out.

_'Kinda spooky...' _

"Who could do something like that? The scientists?" Sheppard tried even harder to stay calm, not allowing himself just yet to acknowledge the growing pit of dread in his gut.

"Certainly!" the technican sounded openly intrigued, not understanding why the Colonel made such a fuss over some flowers and more so, why someone would manipulate a video just to deliver them undetected. "But so could everyone else, if they just took their time to learn it. Those programs are not as complex as you would think, so yeah everybody could have done this." Almost like an afterthought he added "Even the military ones."

_'Well shit.'_

"And you can't trace it or something like that?"

"No, I'm afraid I can't. This person just had to copy some footage, nothing that would require a login or unique code. If you could bring me the computer from where it was done, I could probably do something, but otherwise I fear there is no way."

John nodded curtly and wondered what he should do next.

There was no way he would give up now, not after all this concealment and misleading. If the video would have shown some petite scientist, gingerly arranging her gift, he would have believed that 'Scientist's Lover" was just like any other secret admirer: a little bit shy and insecure but nonetheless harmless despite her kinda extreme choice of words in her messages (as you say: still waters run deep), but this person went to great lengths to avoid that anyone could find out her identity and even sabotaged equipment to maintain this.

If his instincts hadn't told him so already, he would now know that this was in no way harmless or innocent but something serious. Something that could spin out of control if he didn't stop it, as fast as he could. He knew he had to do something and not just as the chief of security, but also as a friend.

"John, is everything alright?"

He had been so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed how Weir had sneaked up on him. He realized that he was still standing in front of the now blank computer screen. The technican had long since departed, unnerved by the Colonel's thoughtful stare and convinced that he was no longer needed.

The head of Atlantis watched him in concern and he couldn't help but think that this was the second time today a woman had surprised and jerked him out of his daydreaming. _'What a great head of security you are.' _he thought wryly.

"Yes everything is fine Elizebeth."

Dr. Weir narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Are you sure? You looked quite troubled. Something I should know about?"

_'Should she?'_ John asked himself. As the head of Atlantis she probably wanted to know that there was someone our there, messing with the footage and sending flowers with rather creepy notes attached to her head of the science departement. But on the other hand, Rodney had looked mighty humiliated after John had read the note. And to be honest, if it would have been John with the potentional stalker, he wouldn't want much more people than necessary to know about it either. Furthermore, if he did this right, he was pretty confident that this whole situation could still end quiet and uneventful, maybe with a good talk or, if that didn't help, with a day or two in the brig for messing with militay equipment. '_And'_ John thought _'for making Rodney edgy'_. But that wouldn't stand in the report.

So he decided to let this matter stay in the family, namely Ronon and Teyla who he had to debrief later that day (even if Rodney wouldn't like this) and answered with the best innocent smile he could muster: "No, there is nothing, don't worry." Suddenly an idea hit him. "I was just wondering if there had been recent trips to the Athosian settlement?"

Elizabeth eyed him some more moments before exhaling an exasperated sigh: "John we discussed this during the briefing, two weeks ago. Major Higgins and his team will visit the settlement for the next couple of weeks on a daily basis to help them prepare their homes for the winter. It was Teylas request to provide a team and you backed her up, remember?"

_'And again, well shit!'_

Sure he remembered...now.

Teyla had tried for days to convince her people to accept their help, but when the day had come to present her idea at the briefing she'd had doubts, if she could really ask for a team in times when the Wratih could attack every minute, so Sheppard had jumped in and convinced everyone (even Teyla) that they could indeed take the risk. Gosh, it had been such a pain in the ass to coordinate the shedule to be able to spare a team on this, and then he forgot.

"Yeah sure I remember Elizabeth. What do you think of me?" he grinned sheepishly and made an escape before Elizabeth could answer or question him further.

He, once again, strolled through Atlantis, his heart a bit lighter. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all. The flowers (he had to ask Teyla after their name) were as beautiful as they were short-lived when picked. Whoever sent Rodney those things on a daily basis, and he was sure there would be another bunch tomorrow, had to get them on a daily basis from the mainland himself.

Major Higgins team. SGA-9, if he wasn't mistaken.

A predatory smile played on Sheppards lips. Time to grab Rodney and the others and take a look at the members of team 9.

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A/N:

_ Hmmm, seems as easy as pie, doesn't it?! Almost too easy.... *evil snicker*_

_Next chapter tomorrow, but just because it will be a short one...__**OH**__ and has anyone an idea for the name of the flowers? I'm bad with names...^^_

_Again, thanks for your reviews, they mean a lot to me, InsaneMelon_


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Yada Yada, you know it.

_A/N: Thank you for your reviews and encouragements, they are awesome!!! And to set things right: This chapter is not short, because I post it today, but it is posted today because it is short, ok? I was forced to end it at a certain point, that's all. I hate rash posted chapters like everyone else does so please don't worry about that^^. That's why the next one will take some days, because it will be a difficult one to write and I want to do it right!^^_

_Oh and much thanks to __**Wapeci**__ for the cool name for the flowers! *hugs* It sounds really exotic, I like it!^^ There wasn't any opportunity to contrive it in this chapter, but it will come!^^_

_Anyway, much fun with this little filler, I know I had fun writing it! :)_

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5. Of Cyranos And Disappearing Clothes

"No! Never! Just NO!"

Rodney faced his team in his quarters, hands on his hips and feet spread. Althogether his posture screamed defiance in every line.

Sheppard hadn't really expected something else but was nonetheless at the end of his patience. He knew that the plan wasn't ideal, far from it, but it was the only one they had so far.

Sheppard had found out that Major Higgins was since yesterday in the infirmary, nursing a badly sprained ankle. The rest of his team had continued their trips to the mainland, no one really there would wait a threat for them they couldn't handle without their leader. So for the last few day only the three remaining team members had received the purple flowers: the female scientist Dr. Atlas, the likewise female Lt. Corrin and their male colleague Lt. Connolly.

He also had found out that the three of them came back roughly one hour before the incident in Rodneys lab and were now having a late lunch in the mess hall, relaxing from a day of hard work.

Sheppard had jogged to Teylas quarters to fetch her, afraid they would miss them if he didn't hurry. He had forgotten about her appointment with Dr. Heightmeyer and just remembered when he came to a half in front of them, standing in front of Teylas door talking.

Teyla had eyed him with poorly hidden exasperation, scolding him just with a look for his interruption, while Kate had that curious glitter in her eyes when she saw him panting from the sprint. Sheppard had immediately felt the urge to lie down on a couch and spill his guts and was slightly disgusted with himself for that.

"What is it Colonel Sheppard?" Teyla had asked, trying to sound evenly.

Sheppard had eyed Kate warily before answering: "It's about the _thing_ we discussed earlier." He'd just hoped she would get it.

But what was he so worried about. This was Teyla after all.

"I understand." With a fluid motion she had turned to Kate "I apologize, but I am afraid this cannot wait." And with that she had followed Sheppard down the hall, immediately noticing the urgency in his voice for what it was, leaving behind a pondering psychologist.

During their quest for Ronon, Sheppard had filled her in on the recent events and she had agreed that it was "_quite disconcerting"._

When they found Ronon he had been on his way to the mess hall and Sheppard had groaned inwardly, trying to figure out how to persuade the big Satedan to miss lunch for the investigation of some love letters.

But before he could say something, Teyla took matters into her own hands.

"Rodney got flowers today again and we wish to find out who is sending them."

Something akin to excitement had flashed in the warriors eyes and Sheppard remembered that it had been Ronon who had told them about the flowers in the first place.

"Could be interesting." was his only reply before he'd followed them with an amused smile on his face.

_'He probably considers this as some kind of hunting experience' _Sheppard thought amused, trying to figure out, when Ronon had become a bit of a tattletale.

They had met with Rodney in his own quarters to be undisturbed for their unofficial briefing. First Rodney had been outraged with John for telling the others about the second note, and worse, for showing them, something Sheppard had done on the way, feeling they needed to see it themselves, to understand why this wasn't something they should leave alone.

He had insulted Sheppard and the others, telling them all that the notes were admittedly rather unpleasant and annoying, but nothing to get so worked up about and that he didn't understand why it was necessary to involve the whole team, when it probably would stop on its own when he continued to ignore it.

"I don't think so," Sheppard had snapped back "that someone who manipulates the video footage to conceal her identity will just stop, just because you ignore it."

At that Rodney had snapped his mouth shut and turned a rather unhealthy shade of green, knowing exactly that this wasn't normal for a normal admirer. More for a stalker.

Still he had been stubborn, saying that he would just ignore it and wait, even when Sheppard had told him about his theory about Team Higgins and that it would be rather easy to find the culprit now if they would just investigate a little.

It had taken much of Sheppard's exasperated persuasions, Teyla's soothing words and Ronon's menacing growls before Rodney had conceded with an annoyed "Fine, if that's what it's going to take to get you off my back" to accept their help.

But how should they proceed now?

They couldn't just go to Dr. Atlas and Lt. Corrin and ask them, if one of them had a "Disturbing Love Letters For Dummies" guide in their possession_. No, that would be bad form, _Sheppard decided.

Surprisingly it had been Ronon who had spoken up after a few seconds of tense silence. "Why don't you just seduce them, and see who bites."

Rodney had gaped at him at a loss for words, while Teyla and John had seriously considered the idea and decided that it was woth a try.

After regaining his bearings, Rodney hat outright refused, and that's where they were now.

"Come on, Rodney." Sheppard drawled "You just have to flirt with them a little bit." He ignored the funny feeling in his gut at the prospect of seeing Rodney flirt with women.

Rodney just stared at him with loathing and, John could be mistaken, but wasn't there also a little bit of sadness in his eyes?

"Are you really that stupid?" he screamed "Please tell me Colonel, how is it a good idea to flirt with a possibly deranged woman who sends you creepy cards that border on porn?" He was pacing now "I don't believe you are actually considering the idea of that big oaf" with that he pointed accusingly at Ronon, before turning back to John "I won't _'seduce'_ my possible stalker, Colonel! Never. Gonna. Happen!"

John understood Rodneys anxiety, and he would have dropped this topic if there wouldn't have been this bad feeling, brooding inside of him like a volcano.

"Don't worry Rodney. We will stick around and watch."

Rodney just gave him his "And how is this supposed to make me feel better" stare but nonetheless seemed to be pleased with the prospect of his friends beeing nearby.

Sheppard almost saw Rodneys defenses crumble under their encouraging looks before he finally turned bright red and shuffled from foot to foot.

Sheppard smiled at the sight, as did Teyla and Ronon.

_'Gotcha!'_

"It won't work anyway" McKay huffed "I don't really know...well you know, I don't...I'm not..." he trailed off, obviously not knowing how to tell his team, that he didn't have much experience with these things.

While Teyla and Ronon smiled openly at that, Sheppard tried to surpress the affectionate chuckle that threatened to escape him. He found Rodney, flushed and uncomfortuable, rather endearing.

He took advantage of Rodneys momentary defenselessness and took the scientict by the arm to lead him to his wardrobe. "Don't worry about that. I'll tell you what to say though the radio." He grinned "I'll be your Cyrano."

He could have sworn he heard Rodney mutter something like 'you have the nose' but let it go and instead rummaged through the scientist, surprisingly tidy, wardrobe.

"What do you think you're doing?" Rodney asked with badly concealed annoyance.

Teyla and Ronon came nearer and wondered what their leader was searching for.

Sheppard meanwhile grew more and more impatient, not finding what he was looking for. "Where is that jacket of yours, you know, the black one with the red padding?"

When only silence greeted him he looked over his shoulder and found Teyla and Ronon watching him with open surprise, not much different than the way Rodney stared at him, except for the blush that once again touched his cheeks.

Sheppard contemplated that it might seemed weird for him to know his colleagues clothes but didn't thought too much about it.

"What?" he asked "You look good in it."

Rodney got a dazed look in his eyes and John was afraid that the mass of blood that was rushing to his head, would knock him out, before Rodney shoved him out of the way and searched for the jacket on his own now.

Sheppard felt oddly pleased that he had elicited such a response out of Rodney with his little (but nonetheless true) remark.

After a few minutes Rodney finished his search with empty hands, looking confused.

"I don't understand" he muttered while letting his gaze roam through the room. "I'm sure I have seen it just a few days ago in my wardrobe."

"Maybe you left it in your lab." Ronon said, already bored of this "or lost it."

Rodney looked like he wanted to protest rather loudly but in the end just shrugged it off "I don't loose things. I'm sure it will show up again. The customary uniform will have to do the trick."

Without waiting for an answer he made his way to the door, just to turn back to Sheppard and the others with an irritated glare. "Let's go then. I want this thing to get over with. There are projects I need to attend to that _aren't_ completely stupid." Teyla smiled at that and followed him, as did Ronon. Sheppard stood there a while longer, running his hands over his face, wondering why he felt so disappointed that they hadn't found that jacket. He really liked it. Rodney looked beautiful when he wore it.

Oh my god, did he just thought that Rodney looked beautiful?

_'You're loosing it, John.' _Since he saw that damned lines he felt and thought things that scared him a bit, although they didn't feel exactly _wrong. _

"Colonel? Are you coming?" Rodney shouted from the hallway.

_'Yeah, time to stop this and get back to normal again.' _John jogged to catch up with the others, not daring to wonder if it would really be so easy to close Pandora's box again and mentally preparing himself to help Rodney pick up some chicks.

_'The day gets better and better.'_ he thought sourly.

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A/N

_I think you understand now why the next chapter's gonna be a difficult one...so much to consider *sigh*_

_Please continue to review, they make my day!^^_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Still not mine...

A/N: Whew, a few days turned into a whole week...sorry for the delay but RL got the better of me and this chapter seriously tried to kill me!!! It's nothing like I had in mind after I changed and rewrote the whole thing several times. I really don't know what to think about this one...opinions, pretty please?! Oh, and most of the characters could seem a bit OOC, especially Teyla! Sorry, couldn't resist! XD

**Random fact #1:** Much of this was written while I sat in the bathroom and my mother dyed my hair! True story!

**Random fact #2:** I hid a quote from one of my most favorite comedy shows in here...wonder if you can figure it out?! hehe

**Random fact #3** is waiting at the end of this chapter. Excited? (:

Love your reviews, keep'em coming. And please please please overlook the many mistakes. I can alsmost smell but still not really find them...

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**6. Dont you forget someone?**

"Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous." Rodney whispered to no one in paticular. He cast a look at his team who stood beside him.

They were all huddled in an alcove at the far end of the mess hall and Rodney began to feel a bit claustrophobic while the others didn't seem to mind the closeness at all.

Sheppard ignored him (_'nothing new there')_ and peeked around the corner of their hideout to observe their _'targets'_ with so much concentration and seriousness that you could mean they were some disguised Wraiths, planning to take over Atlantis. Ronon wasn't much better, although he at least tried to maintain his impassive countenance. This was however blighted by the way he pressed himself against the wall to appear as small as possible. Rodneys gaze wandered to Teyla, who was the worst of them all: The otherwise composed Athosian had crouched herself on the floor, near Sheppards legs, and like him peeked around the corner with a look of grim determination on her face. Rodney himself had been placed between Sheppard and Ronon and felt more than ever trapped.

_'What is this? Mission Impossible?'_ he thought with a shake of his head.

Well, even if it were, they didn't do a good job of it. At least a half dozen scientists and marines had discovered them by now. Rodney found it rather funny that he seemed to be the only one who noticed the incredulous looks, while the three combat trained soldiers at his side were totally oblivious. Amusement however, turned quickly into embarrassment.

Why, oh why had he agreed to this?

It wasn't like he really thought that this person could be dangerous. Creepy, yes. Unsettling, for sure. Maybe even a bit deranged, but not dangerous. Rodney was positive that his friends made more of this than there was and on the one hand he was quite annoyed, but on the other hand also oddly touched by their concern. He wasn't used to people caring about him. Not even his parents had shown much interest in his wellbeing when he came home from another beating by the much older classmates. Now he found himself in the company of people who actually_ did_ care about him, without even being related to him.

It had taken many missions gone wrong and many near-death experiences on both sides for him to accept their concern and even more to finally feel comfortable with it.

Just one of the many good reasons, why he praised the day he had decided to travel to a different galaxy.

He glanced at one of the other good reasons standing right besides him, so near that their shoulders touched, and he admitted that he knew exactly _why_ he was doing this after all. Sheppard had looked so damn eager to catch this twerp, had even rummaged though his clothes to find for his favorite jacket. Rodney had been astouned to find out that his favorite jacket was also Sheppards favorite, or more; that Sheppard even **had **a specific garment he liked out of all the things Rodney wore.

He had felt that familiar pang of hope he always felt when Sheppard did or said something nice to him. He had learned to love and hate those occasions, because he knew that, while he felt like he was in heaven, Sheppard didn't mean anything by it other than being a good friend.

Rodney often wondered how he had been foolish enough to fall for a straight guy. His best friend, as it is. Wasn't he supposed to be a genius?

Nonetheless, when Sheppard had voice his liking for that particular piece, the genius had found nothing more important than to find this damned jacket, **right now,** and never take it off again.

When he couldn't find it, he had been equally confused and disappointed. It was his favorite after all and he couldn't quite belive that he had just misplaced or even lost it. He had bought it a few days before they had left for Atlantis. Although they had been allowed only a few own clothes he had figured out, that it would be a good idea to have a light jacket, other than the one from the uniform. Never the kind of guy who was mindful of fashion, Rodney had entered the first shop he could find, quarried through the first clothes-stand full of jackets and bought the first one that seemed to be appropriate (his size and cheap) without even trying it on. Only when he'd gotten home and put it on he had realized how perfectly it fitted him and how comfortable he felt when he wore it. He had been delighted by his luck and soon wore it more often than anything else he had bought from earth. By now it was well-worn and had some strains which were permanent but he still loved it and told himself that, when he got back, he would search the whole room more thoroughly.

With Sheppards disappointed pout it had been difficult to concentrate on anything else and at last he had ushered them into the hallway.

Now as he stood here and watched Lt Corrin and Dr. Atlas chatting away, he wished he hadn't said yes to this nonesense, and stayed in his quarters. He had flirted with other women before, after all he was bi, but rarely with much success. Out of 10 flirts, 9 ended awkwardly for her and mortifying for him. And now his whole team would be witness of his vain attempt to seduce these women into telling him if one of them had a 'thing' for him.

He _**so**_ didn't look forward to this.

Sheppard apparently sensed his discomfort and patted him on the shoulder with a reassuring grin.

"Don't worry McKay. We are all here to help you." "That's what I'm worried about Colonel." Rodney muttered under his breath.

Before Sheppard could answer Teyla tossed in: "A male subject is nearing the table."

Rodney couldn't help but stare down at the still crouching form._ 'Male Subject? Man, we really need to stop showing them all those spy thrillers on movie night.'_

True to her word a male soldier stopped in front of the table where the two women were finishing their coffees and started talking to them. "That's Major Clark." Sheppard whispered in Rodneys ear, who felt goosebumps running down his spine at the warm breath on his face.

'Come on Rodney, focus! You are on a mission here!' He almost loughed out loud at that but already concentrated on their 'targets' once more.

When SGA-1 had arrived at the mess hall a few minutes earlier, Lt Connolly had already been gone, leaving behind the two women and Rodney had been secretly grateful for small mercies. It was bd enough that his team would see his bad flirting skills first hand, but a complete stranger would have been unbearable.

So that only left Lt Corrin and Dr. Atlas.

Rodney only knew Lt Kelly Corrin from fleeting encounters in the hallways but always thought that she was quite a beautiful woman, if not a little bit tense around the mouth. Like a very strict teacher. She had short, brown hair, a pointy nose and surprisingly small hands. Rodney wondered how she was able to hold a big gun in those tiny things. Corrin was still talking animatedly to Major Clark with a big smile on her otherwise tense lips, which surprised Rodney. Before he could interpret her behaviour, she excused herself from Dr. Atlas and put an arm around the Major, who put his around her shoulders and gave her a tender kiss on the temple.

"Well," Sheppard drawled wryly, while they watched how the couple left the mess hall, "seems like Corrin is out of the game."

"Seems so." Rodney muttered, not wanting to analyze the feeling of longing he had felt when he had watched the interaction between the two lovers, too close.

"That just leaves us with Dr. Atlas, does it not?" Teyla asked gravely and Rodney tried to breath through the bile that was forming in his throat.

Evelyn was the secret admirer? Maybe he was in more trouble than he thought.

Dr. Evely Atlas was also known as the female Dr. McKay. Rodney had received many complaints because of her bossy demeanor and her inability to work in a team. When he had spoken to her, he had just received an icy glare in return. Even if she was his female counterpart, she had known better than to argue with him and just told him that she would try to work better with the others. She hadn't tried too hard and he had been forced to make a decision: ignore the situation or discipline her. He hadn't wanted to do either. Despite her behaviour she was an excellent scientist. She reminded Rodney of himself and (after a talk with Elizabeth) he had decided that it would maybe do her good to join an off-world team to learn what team work really meant.

Rodney was rather pleased with the outcome: Evelyn had been more willing to work with others if not exactly excited about it and had even become good friends with her team members. She was still overambitious, but that was part of her personality and Rodney didn't think that it was something he should scold, overly eager himself from time to time.

So even if he thought that she was maybe even a little bit grateful to him for giving her the chance to go off-world, she had never said so and certainly never shown it in any way. Their connection was always purely professional, no sexual tension at all.

Furthermore she didn't seem like the person to write anonymous letters. Rodney imagined her more as the type of woman who came straight to you, confessed her feelings as a matter-of-fact and demanded answers.

All told, Rodney had serious doubts that Dr. Atlas was his secret admirer and even voiced them to his team.

The three of them didn't seem to listen and suddenly he felt himself being pushed forward. "Ok Rodney, here is your chance." And with that Sheppard gave Rodney the final push and he stumbled right out of the alcove.

He made so much noise that every head in the room turned his way, including Dr. Atlas. She shot him a puzzled look but recovered quickly and waved him over with an urgend motion of her arm, before turning her attention back to the files she had spread out on the table after Lt Corrin had left.

'Damn it!' Rodney swore, 'No turning back now.'

Even though he didn't like the way she had ordered him to sit with her with a single gesture he swallowed his pride and made his way towards her table. When he stood in front of her she didn't even looked up just continued to read her notes.

'My god, we really are quite alike. That makes this whole thing so much more difficult.' He still stood there, hestitating and fidgeting and Rodney did his best not to jump when suddenly Sheppards voice rang in his ear.

_"Come on Rodney. You can't just stand there all day. Sit down already!"_

He had forgotten the stupid radio.

Finally Dr. Atlas looked up and frowned at him. "Dr. McKay, I wondered if we could go through some of my quotations for the test drive tomorrow."

_"'Going through quotations', huh? That's what they call it today?"_ Sheppard snorted in his ear, followed by Teylas puzzeled "_I am afraid, I do not understand, Colonel."_

Rodney just groaned while he seated himself. 'Oh joy! A group hook-up.'

"Is everything alright ?"

"Yeah, fine. Just let's this get over with. I don't have all day." he snapped, already utterly annoyed.

_"Tsk, tsk, tsk."_ Sheppard scolded like he was talking to a little kid, _"Is that a way to treat a lady, McKay?"_

_"Yeah"_ Ronon growled_, "Suit up."_

'Suit up?' Rodney thought, 'What's that supposed to mean?'

He didn't bother to take his earlier words back. Dr. Atlas had already focused on her papers, sorting through them to show him the important ones, not miffed by his behaviour at all. After all you had to get used to it, if you wanted to survive a day in the labs.

'I trained them good.' Rodney thought to himself before he joined her in scanning through the data before them.

What started as a request for a few minutes quickly turned into a heated 30 minutes discussion and Rodney was so engrossed that he only after they finished realized that Sheppard and the others had been silent for the whole time. Or maybe he had been too focused on the subject to hear them. Rodney fought the urge to turn around and look if they were still there or had simply given up. Anyway, he had his answers; during the whole time there had been no indication at all that Evelyn was interested in him. She had barely given him a second look after she had asked for his help.

"Thank you for your time, ." Short but polite. Yeah, he was sure that there was no way that she was enamoured with him.

He was about to leave when suddenly Sheppards voice floated through the radion.

_"You have beautiful eyes."_

The husky voice caught him completely by surprise and his heart beat faster than he thought possible.

"What?" he squeaked, because honestly, how could he form any coherent thought after_ that_.

Atlas frowned at him impatiently. "I said, thank you for your time."

At the same time Sheppard drawled _"Tell her: 'You have beautiful eyes.'"_ He sounded a tad bit impatiently himself.

_"I must agree that it is about time to make a compliment."_ Even Teyla sounded weary.

_"Yeah, about time."_ Ronon sounded...well like Ronon.

So they had listened to him babbling about ZPM configurations and other equally (for them) boring things, while lurking in that confined space.

Rodney felt a pang of quilt at that. He really did have good friend, didn't he?! So even though he really thought that Atlas wasn't the one sending him all those letters he suddenly couldn't bring himself to just go away. Not after all the time his friends had sacrificed for this."Okay okay, I'll do it."

"Excuse me?"

Oha, he didn't mean to say that aloud. Dr. Atlas looked at him with open suspicion now.

"I-I mean" Rodney stuttered, trying to ignore the heat on his face and the snickers over the radio, "well I just wanted, you know, to say...err I think your eyes, well they are...very nice."

He wish he could slap himself. 'God, that was lame.' As if Sheppard somehow read his mind he stated with an odd fondness in his voice "_That was lame Rodney."_

_"Oh I don't know. I think it was...'very nice'."_

Oh god. Since when knew Ronon sarcasm?

Atlas looked dumbfounded. "Well...thank you." She made it sound like a question. He was so screwed.

_"Rodney, maybe you could ask her something personal? Maybe where she grew up?"_ Teyla suggested.

He obediently repeated her question, not really believing that the woman in front of him would answer. Surprisingly enough she seemed to be pleased with his question and fell into a lengthy describtion of her home town and her parents, both professors.

Rodney nodded occasionally, baffled to discover that she was quite the talker when she got started, but soon enough his attention drifted to another conversation he could hear through his earpiece.

_"Wow she sure is talkative, isn't she?"_

_"I'm more surprised that she's still talking_ _to McKay and not doused him with her drink."_

Rodney clenched his teeth. He wasn't that bad now, wasn't he?

_"Rodney can be quite charming..."_ Oh yeah, he liked Teyla. _"when he doesn't talk."_ Or not.

'What is this? Pick on Rodney day?'

He heard Sheppard chuckle over the line.

_"Yeah I would think so. When he doesn't ramble all the time he isn't all that much irritating, isn't he?"_

"God, you are irritating." Rodney breathed, unable to let the Colonel get away with his insult.

"Did you say something?" Dr. Atlas asked, brows dangerously close together.

"Ehm, no no! Please continue." He tried to smile encouraging but failed miserably. She looked suspicious for a moment before she continued to tell him about her years in univerity where she discovered her love for physics.

_"What did I say? Just can't hold it in!"_ Sheppard sounded amused to no end.

_"John..." _

_"What? It's true! You ever tried to shut him up during a game of chess? I tell you, it's impossible!"_

_"Bet it is."_

_"Sometimes I wonder if he's in bed also this chatty..."_

Rodney McKay would have, there and then , fallen off his stool if he hadn't grabbed the edge of the table some seconds before in an attempt do control his temper.

_"I do not understand. Why should he not talk in his bed? He talks everywhere else too, does he not?"_

There was a pregnant pause before Sheppard spoke up again, clearly trying not to laugh.

_"Well, you see I wasn't exactly talking about the bed itself but whether he talks when he's having fun in it..."_

Rodney felt dizzy when he realized that Teyla _**still**_ didn't understand what Sheppard meant.

_"Come on, you know?! The thing you do when you're in bed..."_

"_Ah!"_ Teyla sounded relieved _"You mean whether he is talking in his sleep, yes? But I do not understand how that can be fun?"_

God, this had to be a joke, right?!

Sheppard sounded dead serious now. _"Okay, listen! I'll explain it to you. I meant..."_

That's when Rodney couldn't take it anymore.

"OH, SHUT UP ALREADY!" he exploded and before he could comprehend what just happened he had Dr. Atlas drink in his face.

Rodney expected her to scream at him, but she just gathered her things and stomped away with a muttered "Men!".

He ignored the partly amused, partly shocked expressions around him and ran a hand over his wet face while he turned around to his 'friends', sending them the most deathly stare he could muster while being soaked like a kitten. At least they had enough sense to look guilty, even though he could also see the smug amusement in Sheppards eyes. He saved his breath and not gave them a 'Told you so' speech and just hoped that Ronon would hold his tongue too.

* * *

"Well," Rodney said with forced calmness, "even _if_ she was the one sending me those flowers, I don't think there will be more lettlers. _Threatening letters_ are an open possibility now, though."

Sheppard really tried to feel bad for what happened, he really did, but couldn't help to feel more like he had won a battle, he didn't even knew he'd fought. When this Atlas had told Rodney so much about herself, with open pleasure on top of that, John had felt something clench inside of him and had done everything he could think of, to divert Rodneys attention back to himself. And he really _had_ wondered if Rodney was the talkative type of guy in bed...he hadn't planned this turn of events but was satisfied with the outcome nonetheless. Rodney was right, that woman wouldn't be a problem anymore.

He had won. He just didn't know what...

"That was the plan wasn't it?"

Rodney shot him a dirty look which told him exactly what Rodney had thought about this 'plan' but he couldn't care less. This whole mess was finally over. "Come on Answerman, I'll get you a coffee, alright?!

McKay's expression smoothed a bit but he shaked his head no. "Can't. This has taken too much time. I'm needed in the lab."

When he turned around to leave he was stopped by Ronon. "Don't you forget someone?"

Rodney looked at him with open curiosity and so did John. "What do you mean? Corrin has a boyfriend and we effectively scared away Dr. Atlas. No one else was at the mainland and had the chance to place the flowers."

Teyla seemed to get it. "Yes there was."

McKay and John looked at each other in confusion. Neither seemed to know what the two of them meant.

Ronon grunted impatiently. "Connolly."

John didn't quite process what Ronon just said as quick as Rodney did if you took the way his face lost all color as any indication.

"Who said that _'Scientist's Lover'_ was a woman?"

John felt the urge to laugh but he almost choked on it because his mouth was suddenly terribly dry. Rodney seemed to experience something familiar.

"I think I could use this coffee after all, Colonel."

* * *

**A/N:** YES! FINALLY!!! Thank you Ronon!!! Don't worry it seems to be coming to an end but:

**Random fact #3:** I didn't just worked on this chapter this week but also on the storyline (up until now I kinda just wrote what came to my mind, without any plan at all) and there will be around 20 chapters (wow, that's much for a firsling isn't it?!) with many twists and turns...let me give you a little teaser:

Coming soon: An infirmary visit with major Rodney/John fluff, a scolding Elizabeth, an adventurous off-world mission, a stalker slowly spinning out of control _(oh surprise, surprise)_ and of course much and much of jealousJohn (don't we all love him?)

Please keep the reviews coming, they'll make my christmas...oh by the way: **MERRY CHRISTMAS FOLKS!!! MAY YOUR HOLIDAYS BE JOLLY!^^**

InsaneMelon


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: Not mine, you know who they belong to

**A/N**: Wow it's been a long time...sorry for that but its really weird: others seem to update much faster during the holidays. I update faster during university...hmmm Anyway here is Chapter 7 with tidbits of Ronon and Teyla POV... hope I got them right! It is not much overread so mistakes are fair game.. Again, **thank you very much for your reviews**, please keep them coming!

Oh and I have so **NO IDEA** about technical stuff so it may sound all a bit squishy...

**

* * *

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7. What are you looking at?

(And what do you see?)

Rodney had followed his friends to the Jumper Bay with a growing feeling of dread in his stomache. He had long since given up his resistance and protests when he'd realized that they weren't working, or more so, that nobody even listened anymore. He hadn't thought that there could be an increase of absurdity for today, but obviously he was wrong.

A Lieutnant... no wait, let's rephrase that; a _male_ Lieutnant should be interested in him? _Yeah, sure._

He would never ever believe that and he would never ever _in hell _try the same thing with Connolly as he had with Atlas. He had told them as much but even though Sheppard had seemed as wary as him he had nonetheless radioed the control room and asked where Connolly had duty right now and then pulled Rodney along to 'check him out'.

Sheppard had assured that the would just do it to convince Ronon (who had been surprisingly insistent on his point) that Lt. Connolly was not the one they were looking for. Rodney suspected that John wanted to convince himself as much as Ronon but hold his tongue and followed them.

Just to make sure they didn't do something stupid, of course.

Teyla had been quiet during the whole conversation but her gaze had wandered from John to Rodney and back almost constantly with a puzzled frown on her face. She continued to watch them like a hawk the whole way to the Bay and Rodney felt more and more self-concious by her gaze and worked himself slowly into a nervous fit. By the time they reached the Bay he didn't even notice until they were right in the middle of the room.

What _he_ did notice were the Marines and Scientists which normally shouldn't be there, running around the place and shouting at each other.

"Ah Dr. McKay!" A big man appeared in front of Rodney and he had to throw his head back to look the stranger in the eye.

"Yes, how observing of you. So should I guess your name now or are you going to spare _youself_ the embarrassment and just tell me?" Yes, although the day had gone to hell he could still enjoy insulting some dumb Marines.

Oddly enough the man just smiled sweetly at him, without any sign of annoyance when he answered, "Of course Doctor. I am Lieutnant James Connolly."

Rodney couldn't see Sheppard behind him but he would swear later on that he had been able to 'hear' the dark scrowl forming on his face.

Rodney tried to ignore this and took a good look at the guy in front of him: Lt. Connolly was as big as Ronon with balck hair and a nose that seemed to have been broken and never really reduced some years ago. But more unsettling were his eyes which held an admiring glint while he watched Rodney.

"Rodney! Finally!" Rodney's attention was pulled from those eyes when he saw Radek running towards him. The Czech looked horrible. His hair was rumpled (more than normally) and his clothes were drenched in sweat. "We've been trying to radio you for hours! Were have you been?"

Rodney ignored the question, not in the mood to recount the last few hours and the reason why is radio got wet, and therefore unusable.

"What is going on here?" he shouted instead, already highly alarmed by Zelenkas appereance and the way his voice had risen higher than normally, always a good indication for trouble.

Zelenka panted slightly when he came to a stop before Rodney, "Lt. Connolly" and with that he gestured to the figure besides them who seemed to ignore everyone but Rodney, "has discovered a problem with one of the Jumpers when it came back from a mission. Some of the systems refuse to power down and have been running on _full_ power the last few hours."

Rodeny's eyebrows shot up in surprise and shock. Surprise because a Lieutnant had been smart enough to check the Jumper when it came back on his watch and had even actually recognized that something was wrong.

And shock because...

"Damnit!" he swore and immediately made a run for said Jumper which was surrounded by fussing scientists, Radek on his heels.

When some of the systems runned too long on full power they would overload in time and that would be not good. So not good. Rodney and Radek had worked on a solution for the problem, but didn't found it to be a urgend matter because it had never really happened to this extent. Even geniusses could be lazy fools sometimes. They were damn lucky that Connolly had discovered what he did in time, otherwise the whole Jumper Bay could have been destroyed.

Not that that wasn't still an option.

Rodney turned around while he sprinted. "Good work Lieutnant." He wasn't generous with compliments but when it was justified it was justified.

Connolly, who had looked after him still with that sweet yet creepy smile of his, now beamed openly at the praise. Rodeny found that reaction a bit odd, but all thoughts vanished when he looked over Connollys shoulder and got a good look of Sheppards face.

Rodney shivered involuntary. He knew that look. It was a look reserved for the Wraith and Kolya. It was the look he got when Atlantis was in danger.

It was a murderous look and it was directed at Lt. Connollys back.

* * *

Specialist Ronon Dex had witnessed many emergencies during his time on Atlantis and it never ceased to amaze him how everyone seemed to know exactly what to do in those situations.

The former runner probably knew better than anyone else that timing and organization was everything during a crisis and both were perfected under the gaze of Dr. Rodney McKay.

After a short glance over his shoulder McKay lapsed into his 'supervisor-mode' and shouted commands and directions at everyone and everything. His underlings did as they were told without hestitation and even the Marines seemed eager to comply. In moments like this nobody questions McKays authority and trusted him with their lifes.

During his first days on Atlantis, Ronon had been fooled by Rodneys often difficult behaviour and wondered how someone like McKay could be part of the lead team and how McKay and Sheppard could be friends when both of them were so completely different.

During a sparring with Teyla he had asked her but she had just smiled and shaked her head.

_"You will see in time."_

And he had seen. Seen how McKay had handled a power cicuit in one of the Gate systems, while he shouted orders like now, and in the end prevented the gate from blowing up. Taking the whole city with it. From this day on he had understood why Sheppard had chosen McKay for his team; no matter how much the chubby man whined about little things, when the pressure was on McKay knew exactly what had to be done. And did it.

Not long after that, Ronon had seen more.

After a particular bad mission Sheppard had been in a sour mood, almost self loathing. Ronon had sit with him in the mess hall, giving silent support while Teyla had attempted to convince Sheppard that it was not his fault that the villagers hadn't wanted to move to another planet, and that they knew the risk of the approaching Wraith and that nothing he could have done, would have prevented the culling from happening and so on, and so on.

Sheppard had seemed to withdraw even more, telling them that he was fine and that he didn't want to talk about it.

And then McKay had joined them with an overfilled plate, took one look at Sheppard and rolled his eyes in exasperation. "You look like shit! Go away, so I can enjoy my food."

And that's when the banter began.

It was the most amazing thing Ronon had ever seen: McKay insulted Sheppard, made inappropriate comments and stole his dessert and instead of getting angry or annoyed, Sheppard gradually grew more and more relaxed, the jibes coming more and more easy like the amused and affectionate smile.

Ronon had realized that McKay 'grounded' Sheppard, helped him move on. And with a bit of a surprise Ronon realized that he had fallen ínto the banter a few minutes ago without even realizing it, feeling more at peace than in the last seven years and forgetting for a moment the underlying anger at the universe he always felt and instead concentrated his whole being on the task of picking on McKay.

Teyla had shot him one of her famous "Now-you-get-it" smiles and he had ignored it good-naturedly.

Somehow, despite the differences, it had clicked between the four of them and during that particular night Ronon had finally acknowledged that.

His gaze wandered over to Rodney who disappeared into the damaged Jumper.

He would protect McKay with his life and make sure that _nobody _messed with him, like he would do for Teyla and Sheppard. He laid his eyes on the latter and narrowed his eyes. McKay was Sheppards best friend and if he was a bit overprotective over the others, he was almost obsessed with Rodney's safety. And that could mean trouble.

Especially when your name was Connolly and you watched said scientist like a hawk with an unsettling smile on your lips. Ronon was never one to avoid a good old fight, but he didn't think that Sheppard would leave it at that and decided to intervene before it came to that.

He _really_ didn't like the way Sheppard was looking at Connolly.

Before he could take more than a few steps he heard a shout that sounded like Rodneys and a bunch of scientists rushed away from the damaged Jumper. Just secondes later a small explosion shook the Bay.

* * *

Teyla was confused.

Not a feeling she was unfamiliar with, since coming to Atlantis and learning earth customs like placing a dead tree in you house to celebrate the birthday of someone who died thousands of years ago... No, she was accustomed to confusion lately. But this confusion wasn't about distant things and customs from another planet. It was about two of her closest friends and that quite bothered her.

She observed Rodney giving orders and a find smile touched her lips.

_'He sure has a bad day._' Teyla mused.

She had been honestly pleased to hear that someone had taken an interest in him...at first. Later there had been a nibbling feeling in her gut everytime she thought about it, distracting her from her meditation, and she had thought that, maybe, it wasn't such a good thing after all. It wasn't that she didn't grant him some attention or that she thought that he couldn't get some but everytime she thought about Rodney and his 'secret admirer' (another curious custom), she also thought instantly about John and Rodney.

About John, when he sits in the infirmary besides Rodneys bed, watching. About John's and Rodney's shoulders touching when they sit side by side on movie night. About Rodney shooting John odd looks when he thinks nobody is looking and about John doing the same thing but more open, almost as if he doesn't even realizes that he is doing it.

And between all these thoughts she _just knew _that this wasn't a good thing after all.

She had been more than relieved to hear that John shared her concerns the next morning, but she never would tell him her reasons when she didn't even knew what they meant herself.

That she couldn't pinpoint where the sudden resentment for this unknown person came from or why she couldn't stop thinking about John _and_ Rodney, bothered and worried her equally.

It worried her almost as much as John's sudden change in behaviour.

Since he had been present when the second letter arrived, he seemed edgy and more serious than she had ever seen him. Teyla was glad that she seemed to be the only one who had seen how Sheppard had clenched his fists until the knuckles were white when they had watched Rodney and Dr. Altas from their hideout and how his eyes had shone with something she couldn't quite name.

Almost as worried as she was by his behaviour _now_.

She knew that Ronon saw it too and hoped that he would be able to calm John down.

She_ really_ didn't like the way John was looking at Connolly.

Before either of them could do something there were screams and then a nasty bang.

* * *

John _really_ didn't like the way Connolly was looking at Rodney.

He had felt his insides knot when he'd heard the Lieutnant introduce himself to Rodney.

Then he had felt cold fury when he saw how Connolly smiled at Rodney.

And then he had realized that the knot in his insides and the cold fury combined felt a lot like the good old jealousy and that had made him even _more_ furious.

He shouldn't be jealous because of some pathetic Lieutnant drooling over Rodney. Also he was able to read Rodney pretty well and knew by the way his friends posture had stiffened under Connollys gaze that Rodney was far from feeling comfortable around the big man.

Rodney was after all _his_ best friend, _his_ team member, _his_ scientist, geek and genius_._ Rodney was **his,** damn it, and nobody looked at someone belonging to him the way Connolly did.

Sheppard was too furious to realize his own thoughts. Too focused to notice the growing panic in the Jumper Bay or the worried looks Teyla and Ronon gave him. Too convinced and too accusing to mind that he was staring at Connollys back with murderous intent in his eyes and that he flexed his hands repeatedly in growing tension

_He was just too much of everything to be rational._

The only constant thought in his fogged brain was, that Connolly was _'Scientist's Lover'_. Those lustful eyes that followed Rodney everywhere. The sneering grin that wouldn't vanish...

Yes, John was sure that Connolly was the one that started to send those flowers.

_'And I will stop it!'_

Before he could snap Connolly's neck or see how Ronon and Teyla took a step towards him, John was stopped by panic filled screams and the unmistakable sound of something exploding.

_

* * *

_

Rodney felt the eyes on him the whole time he worked and organized the repair of the Puddle Jumper and tried to ignore them.

Sure, most of the Marines where impressed when they saw him in action but nobody had ever stared at him quite this long and with so much intensity that he felt it without even looking.

And as much as he would have liked to go over there and snap at this Connolly to stop staring at him, there were more important things to do.

Nonetheless he was more than grateful when he finally finished instructing the scientists who would work on the outside of the Jumper and entered said Jumper through the hatch. Away from staring eyes.

He remembered Sheppards grim look and just hoped that the man wouldn't do something stupid... well nothing _more_ stupid than usually.

He walked into the cockpit while Radek worked furiously on the panel in the rear compartment.

"I think I have stopped most of the systems but not all." Radek stated before muttering in Czech when he got a little electric shock.

Rodney meanwhile had locked into the main console in the cockpit with his pad and typed furiously. He breathed a sigh of relief when he discovered the problem fairly quick and began to reconfigure some of the codes in charge of the malfunctioning systems.

"I think I got it..." and with a last tap the last one of the systems powered down.

When Radek realized that the danger was over, not even five minutes after Rodney had joined them, he stared at his colleague with a mix of awe and irritation.

"You know McKay, would you have been available immediately you would have spared me some grey hairs..."

Rodney stared at him in disbelieve. "Well, how about a _"Thank you, Dr. McKay for saving our lifes. Again!"_ Or at least a _"Good work,Dr. McKay_."" His shoulders stiffened a bit like they always did after an adrenaline surge subsiding. "It's not my problem that you couldn't-"

His rant was cut short by a popup on his pad. Red and blinking. _Shit_.

"Radek get out of here! " he screamed and was grateful when Radek seemed to understand that something was wrong and sprinted though the rear hatch without any hestitation, shouting to other scientists to get away from the Jumper. Rodney looked back down on his pad.

It seemed like they hadn't been fast enough to prevent at least one of the systems to explode... one of the systems located in the rear compartment.

In a matter of 4 seconds Rodney McKay realized two things.

First, there was no way that he could leave the Jumper in time to avoid the explosion. Would he try now he would most likely run right into the damn thing.

And would he keep standing there like a deer caught in the headlights he would be equally screwed.

So he did the only thing he could think of in his panic; he jumped behind the pilot seat and prayed to all the gods that he knew that the explosion would be small enough to leave him with all his limbs when this was over.

Not a second after his dive the rear erupted in blending light and deafening noise. Rodney couldn't entirely avoid the blast and felt himself being mercilessly pushed forward until his head hit the console with a sickening thud.

His last concious thought was that Sheppard would be pissed, before everything went black.

_

* * *

_

A/N: Wohoo my first 'evil' cliffhanger!^^ And seems like I cannot help myself...jealous John is just too fun to write!^^

_Will Rodney survive? Is John overreacting? And what the hell is that in Elizabeth's arms when she comes to see them? __Stay tuned and you may be told...oh and review please! XD_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer**: Not mine_

_**A/N:** Okay, LOTS AND LOTS of JOHN/RODNEY FLUFF in this one! And I mean it!!! You have been warned!^^_

_Oh and John might seem a bit off character here but remember, he is just realizing that he seems to have feelings for his best friend and he is totally out of his depths here and the poor boy is confused and scared and...well you get the idea don't you?! XD Have fun! And I love your reviews!!!_

* * *

**_8. That's what I am here for_**

All his anger and resentment were instantly forgotten when Sheppard realized that the explosion had taken place in the rear compartment of the malfunctioning Puddle Jumper. The Puddle Jumper in which Rodney had disappeared just some minutes earlier. And hadn't come out yet._ 'God.'_

Luckily, it seemed that it had been just a small explosion; there was a light tremor running through the Jumper and even the scientists, who had been in the close proximity of the Jumper, just jumped a bit in surprise. The only real obvious indication that there had happened something at all, had been the noise: a loud bang which had been thrown back from the walls, almost deafening the bystanders.

And while almost everyone breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that it could have been _so much worse, _Johns blood ran cold.

A look at the Czech, standing in the middle of the Bay with a shocked and grief-stricken expression, was all John needed to know. Rodney had been still in there and while the explosion hadn't done much harm outside, there was no telling how bad it had been _in there_.

_In there_...and Rodney had been _in there _and...

John snapped out of his morbid thoughts and realized that he was still staring at the open rear hatch and the fine traces of smoke that were coming out of it. "Damnit!" He sprinted towards the Jumper, Ronon and Teyla hot on his heels, and radioed for help.

"Sheppard to Infirmary" He didn't care that he screamed into his mic like a madman.

_"Aye Colonel, what is it?" _Carson sounded wary, like he feared another screaming fit. And John really didn't care about that either, because he was just damn lucky that it had been Carson to answer his plea for help, the only doctor Rodney trusted. And John for that matter too.

"We need a medical team in the Jumper Bay. There was an explosion and Rodney he..." he swallowed hard suddenly unable to continue.

He didn't need to.

_"We'll be there in five minutes."_

Sheppard couldn't help the ghost of a smile that hushed over his face. When Carson said five it usually meant two minutes. The man must have been a long-distance runner in a past life.

While Sheppard had informed Carson, they had reached the damaged Jumper and he could have screamed in relief, when he saw that the explosion, indeed, had been much smaller than the noise would have indicated.

A panel to his left looked like it had been burst open from the inside and the otherwise polished crystals were now dull and broken. The opposite wall and floor were burned black but it seemed that nothing was on fire anymore. Altogether it didn't looked as nearly as bad as it smelled and if John knew Rodney, this baby would fly again in less than a week.

John almost choked on his relief when he finally spotted him in the cockpit.

On the floor. Unconscious. Bleeding.

John felt something clench inside of him. He had always cared greatly for his teammembers and felt responsible for them, but this was different. This feeling of helplessness and... _defeat_ was new. More intense than anything else he had ever felt before when someone got injured on his watch.

His whole being, his whole mind, was focused solely on the prone body lying motionless on the floor. In a matter of seconds he was kneeling besides Rodney, checking for a pulse, a constant prayer running through his head '_pleasegodpleasegodpleasegod'._

He duly noted the incredulous look Teyla gave him when she positioned herself on Rodneys other side while Ronon waited outside, making sure that there were no unwanted gawpers. But he didn't even consider that he, just maybe, had uttered some of the things, that were running through his head, aloud.

When he finally felt a strong, if a bit fast, pulse, he thought he was going to break down, there and then.

Somewhere in his mind he realized, that he had never reacted this strong and emotional before and that it was a bit frightening, but just then Rodney stirred under his touch. The following pain filled groan was the most awful and wonderful thing John had ever heard. A few seconds later Rodney opened glazed blue eyes, just to shut them again with a gentle moan on his lips.

"Come on Rodney! You have to stay awake!"

The eyes remained closed but Rodney answered, slurred and whispering. "M' awake, moron"

Sheppard had to smile and retracted his hand, which had still been on Rodneys neck. "Good. How are you feeling."

Rodney opened his eyes once more and although they were glazed and unfocused, Sheppard was glad to see the familiar spark of irritation burning in them. "What d'you think?" He winced and squeezed his eyes shut. "Headache."

Teyla laid a soothing hand on Rodneys forehead, carefully avoiding the bloody gash on his left temple, murmuring that everything would be fine. When he saw how Rodney relaxed under her touch, Sheppard regretted that he had retreated his own hand so quickly.

"You probably have a concussion Rodney. Do not move too much. Dr. Beckett is on his way."

Rodney smiled hazily at her and she smiled back, still caressing his forehead.

While Sheppard watched the tender exchange he couldn't help but feel utterly useless. Teyla was the one with the soft spot, tending to the injured and calming them until help arrived. Always had. Sheppard on the other hand, was the one who kept them moving when the enemies were nearer than the help. Now, he could do nothing more than wait and watch, while Teyla stayed with Rodney. It wouldn't be the first time and it certainly had never bothered him.

But it did now.

"Teyla seems to have everything under control. I'll wait outside with Ronon for Beckett." And he _didn't _sound bitter. He _didn't_.

But before he could stand up, a hand grabbed his and he looked down to see that Rodneys eyes were wide open and trained on him with so much pleading in them that it took Johns breath away.

"Don' go. 'lease." His voice was small and insecure and Sheppard was sure that Rodney must have been more out of it than they thought. As a matter of fact, Rodneys eyes dropped shut again and when the strong grip on his hand loosened, Sheppard knew that he had succumbed to unconsciousness once more.

But before Rodneys hand could fall down, Sheppard grabbed it in both of his and held it tightly in his lap. To hell with Teylas surprised and intrigued stares. All that mattered now was the hand in his and the warmth of it, spreading through his whole body.

When Carson arrived two minutes later, he was still holding it.

* * *

The first things Rodney became aware of were the noises.

A vast variety of different bleeps that were instantly annoying him into more conciousness. Unfortunately so. Because now, even voices could break through the jumble of cotton in his head. And with the voices came the headache. The headache from hell, to be precise. _'Where are the happy drugs when you need them?'_

One of the annoying bleeps quickened and suddenly there were hands all over him and a certain Scottish voice pierced through the pain.

"Come on, lad. We now you're awake. Open yer eyes."

"Do I have to?" he asked, or more, tried to ask, because all he managed was a pathetic croak.

"You want something to drink, you have to open yer eyes."

Rodney would have given everything to rant about evil voodoo and one doctor being his own personal nemesis, but his throat was so damn dry and his head hurt like a truck had kept driving over it, so he decided to postpone that to the next time. And wasn't it most telling that he was already thinking about his next visit to the infirmary?

He cracked his eyes open with much more effort than he would have liked, only to shut them again immediately when a bright light blended him. He had never understood, why Carson was so obsessed with the idea of blinding him with his penlight.

"God Cars'n..." he croaked but before he could aggravate his throat further, a straw was placed against his lips and he drank the cool liquid greedily. Maybe Carson wasn't that bad, after all...

He must have dozed off after that, because when he fought his eyes open once again, warily, Carson (and his light of doom) were nowhere to be seen. Instead his blurred vision settled on John. The Colonel was slouched in the chair next to Rodney, his feet popped up on his bed, reading "War and Peace". Still.

_'Like always.' _Rodney thought sleepily. Aloud he greeted him with a meek "Hey.", pleasantly surprised that his voice sounded much better.

Sheppard looked up and put the the book aside, without even marking the page he had been reading. No wonder he had to start all over again every so often.

"Hey." he echoed and the lack of any smart-ass comment to lighten the mood made Rodney shift uneasily on the bed. Why was the Colonel so serious?

"What happened?"

Sheppard blinked in surprise. "You don't remember?" And why the hell did he sound disappointed?

Rodney closed his eyes for a few moments. Did he remember? Well, he clearly remembered every single _embarrassing_ detail of the incident with Dr. Atlas. He remembered how he didn't want to go to the Jumper Bay, to check out Lt. Connolly, but beeing, more or less, dragged there anyway. He remembered Radeks dishevelled appearance and the malfunctioning Jumper and...oh.

His eyes shot open immediately. "The explosion!" He patted himself up and down to search for any missing limbs. "I'm still complete!"

Sheppard grinned broadly at him. "Well physically maybe, but mentally...?" Rodney didn't bother with an answer. He was just too relieved that his prayers had actually worked to mind his insults right now.

Surviving an explosion could do that to you.

Suddenly Carson appeared out of nowhere and Rodney bit down on his tongue in an attempt not to squeal. Was the man levitating or what? "Don't listen to him Rodney." he chastised but his smile spoke volumes. "You have a concussion and a gash on your head. Luckily, it didn't need stiches. You'll have a mighty headache though..." While Carson checked the readings and his IV line, Rodney fingered the dressing on his temple and winced. The headache, he already knew about.

"And after that?" Rodney was momentarily lost at Sheppards question.

"After what?"

"Do you remember what happened after the explosion?" Sheppard sounded almost wary.

Something happened after the explosion? He actually just thought that he had been unconscious the whole time, before waking up here. When he thought about it, he thought he remembered Sheppard, leaning over him in the Puddle Jumper. But the memory was too blurry to be sure. "No, nothing more." He cast a glance at Sheppard and...what was it with the Colonel and disappointed looks lately anyway?

Something was definitely not right!

The following silence between the three men unsettled Rodney even more, so he made a move to sit up. "Where are my clothes."

Carson however, pushed him down again without much effort. "Where do you think you are going?" His patient voice sounded forced.

"I have things to do! The Jumper won't repair itself you know?!" Rodney, once again, made a move to sit up but sudden nausea and piercing pain behind his left eye stopped him cold. Tears threatened to fall so he covered his eyes with his right arm to maintain the last bit of dignity he still had.

"Ow..." he muttered, feeling miserable and sorry for himself.

Carson managed to sound both exasperated and sympathetic. "See? You should stay here. At least one night for observation, okay?"

Rodney knew that it wasn't really a question. That he had lost this argument the moment he had sunken back in pain. Carson just offered him to make it _look_ like it was his decision to stay and he gratefully took it.

To be honest, he really didn't feel too hot.

"I guess a night won't kill me." he drawled with annoyance he didn't really feel. He kept his arm over his eyes, not needing to see their knowing smirks. His headache was already bad enough.

"Okay." Carson sounded really pleased with himself. "I'll have te wake you every four hours, you know the drill right?"

"Yeah." Right now Rodney hated his life. With passion.

"I can do that!"

Rodneys fogged brain needed a few seconds to recognize Sheppards voice and some more to assemble the meaning behind his words.

"Well, don't ye have other things to do?" Carson sounded wary, but Sheppard seemed to have shaken his head no. "That would be nice, Colonel. I have had a double shift and am mighty tired and many of the nurses wanted to go to the movie night... You really wouldn't mind, lad?"

"No, not at all. It'll be fun, right McKay?"

Rodney wanted to tell him that he considered other things _fun_ but suddenly someone took his hand, the one that wasn't thrown over his face. Carson tended to do that sometimes, to reassure his patients, but Carson stood on his other side...

He peeked from under his arm and...

_'__Oh my god, Sheppard holds my hand!'_

He felt his face grow hot and the dizziness returned with a vengeance but for completely different, more pleasant, reasons. He pressed his face tightly into the crook of his arm and wondered if Sheppard even knew what he was doing.

"Rodney?" Sheppards voice sounded much nearer now, but that wasn't the reason why his heart almost exploded; it was the little squeeze Sheppard had given his hand ('_Oh yeah, absolutely knows what he is doing'_) while he repeated his question. "It'll be fun right?"

Not being able to do much of anything, Rodney just shrugged and breathed a shaky "Sure."

Carson seemed to mistake his subdued manners for a sign of pain. "Bad headache?"

Although he didn't really feel the headache anymore, just the hand holding his, Rodney nodded, not able to describe the thousand feelings that stirred in his stomache, not one of them even remotely similar to pain.

"Allright lad. I think I can give you a light painkiller. It should help you to sleep until your first wake-up call." With that Carson inserted something into Rodneys IV line, patted him on the leg and bid his goodbye. If he had noticed the joined hands, he didn't show it.

The meds didn't take long to kick in and Rodney felt himself getting drowsy. And although his body began to get numb, the arm was still stubbornly glued to his face. Rodney just refused to take it down while Sheppard still held his hand, running little circles with his thumb over its back to soothe him. Refused to let Sheppard see what this act of friendship was doing to him, how much he loved the feeling of Johns skin on his. He would never risk their friendship like that. Would never risk loosing John like that.

So he just lay there, drowning in Johns presence, while he waited for sleep to claim him. His hand was still safely secured in Johns when he finally succumbed to unconsciousness, Johns warmth the last thing he felt.

What he didn't feel was the hand that was seconds later running through his hair.

* * *

True to his word, Sheppard woke him about four hours later. This time the first Rodney noticed was the lack of Johns hand in his and it suddenly felt oddly empty. When he opened his eyes the infirmary was dimly lit and, except for him and John, deserted. "Where is everyone?"

"Movie night started an hour ago. It's just you, me and the _lovely _nurse Madow tonight" Sheppards voice dripped with sarcasm. Madow was everything, but not 'lovely'. A real dragon in white. "She'll be in the office, doing inventory the better part of the night." He didn't have to say it, but Rodney heard the unspoken _'Thank God' _just fine anyway.

"Oh man," he cursed. "The one night I actually could attent movie night in a long while, I have to blow myself up! That's just peachy!"

Sheppard chuckled. "Well I guess you are okay." Rodney glared at him. He was far from okay. Did this guy ever listen?

"I mean," Sheppard elaborated, "I was supposed to ask you some questions, you know like where we are, to see if you were still the genius we all know and love. But I guess you are alright if you can still bitch about a missed movie night."

"Oh puh-lease! I'd even know where we are with my head off."

Sheppard smirked at Rodneys confidence. "Sure Answer-man." he drawled, "Go back to sleep and we can test that theorie in exactly four hours. If you like." Rodney sat up against the pillow and winced when the movement sent a new wave of spikes through his skull. "Can't" he muttered sullenly. "I'm fully awake now. Thanks to you."

Sheppard raised his hands in defense with the "I'am-so-innocent" look on his face. "Hey, that's what I am here for, remember?"

_'Yeah, you are," _Rodney thought _"I just don't understand why?' _He would have liked to ask but he dreaded the answer.

"Well as long as you are awake we could use the time to discuss a few things." Sheppard sounded really somber and it made Rodney queasy. "Discuss?" he repeated. Sheppard nodded gravely and looked around the room to see if they were still alone. "About your admirer." He hestitated a bit. "And Connolly."

First, Rodney didn't understand, but suddenly it made click. "Oh no Colonel! You can't really believe that!"

Sheppards face told him he could.

"I thought we wanted to convince Ronon that it wasn't Connolly and now you team up with him?" Rodney couldn't quite understand why he reacted so angry. Maybe because he had, after much back and forth, finally decided for himself that it was, after all, just a goddamn joke gone sour. That another person had been on the mainland lately, a person who got a kick out of sending him fake love letters. He was even willing to consider that Dr. Atlas and Lt. Corrin had thought up this prank after a night with too much beer, thinking that it would be some nice team bonding. Heck, he even thought that maybe Connolly had been the wisecracker, punishing him for something he didn't remember anymore. Honestly, when you scream at a dozen people per day, you just loose track. It even explained the odd behaviour of the Lieutnant in the Bay. Not a leering smile, but a gloating one. Yeah, he had plenty of explanations at hand and he was content with every single one of them. But Sheppard just couldn't let it go, could he? He was like a bloodhound, jumping from one conclusion to another and Rodney was fed up with it, wanting nothing more than just forget the whole thing and get on with his life.

"Rodney," Sheppard tried to sound patient, but failed miserably, "you said yourself that it isn't Atlas and Corrin obviously isn't your secret admirer either. That just leaves Connolly."

Rodney wasn't feeling like explaining his change of heart or recounting his many other explanations to the Colonel, so he just said: "I just don't believe that there is a secret admirer at all Colonel. I believe that it is just a joke and that it will stop in time if we ignore it."

"Damnit Rodney!" Sheppard exploded. He jumped from his chair and began to pace. "This isn't about what you believe! This is about what the facts say and the facts are that someone sends you disconcerting love letters and flowers. That someone manipulated the video feed to do so undetected. This isn't just a stupid prank that will disappear just because you want it to. Why are you so careless about this?"

Rodney was a bit flustered by the Colonels sudden outburst. He hadn't seen him this angry for a long time and just because of...him?

"And why do you care so_ much _about this?" He had tried to sound accusing, so he couldn't explain why his voice sounded so small instead. Like he couldn't explain the genuine surprise on Sheppards face. And he sure couldn't explain why Sheppard regarded with the same expression on his face, like he had done in his lab earlier that day, after reading the second note.

_'For a genius, I am quite clueless sometimes.'_

After a few tense seconds Sheppard lowered his head, sighed rather dramatically and lowered himself on Rodneys bed, close enough for his butt to actually brush Rodneys thigh. It took Rodney everything not to recoil from the touch (not because he didn't like it, but because he liked it too much) and even more not to squeal in shock and delight when Sheppard placed a casual hand on said thigh and leaned forward so that their faces were just a few inches apart.

"I just don't want that something happens to you. I care about _you_ Rodney." The last bit was said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Rodney felt himself heat up (again) at those words and his headache disappeard. Funny, how Sheppard seemed to be better than any painkiller Carson could give him...

"I-I, I care about you too." _'Oh god Rodney that was so lame! Could you have been more obvious? He must think that you are a complete jerk!'_

Sheppard didn't seem to think so. And instead of pulling away in disgust like Rodney had feared, he smiled that disarming smile of his and... oh boy, but was he actually coming _closer_?

Rodney, too mesmerized by the hazel eyes staring into his to comprehend what was happening, moved closer on his own wanting to reach, to feel, to _touch_. And still, Sheppard didn't pull away, just tightened his hold on Rodneys thigh as if wanting to make sure that Rodney wouldn't disappear. A part of him screamed at Rodney that this was what he had wished for so long and that there would be no turning back when he let this happen. But he surpressed this part of him immediately. He didn't want to care about the future right now. Right now there was just John and his hand on him. There were just the hazel eyes and there was just Johns mouth, so close to his, that Rodney felt his breath on his lips. And there was just...

"Hey Rodney, I hope you don't mind a late guest?"

Elizabeth.

They pulled apart so fast that Sheppard almost fell from the bed rather than jumping and Rodneys headache reached full force under the sudden motion once more. But it hurt more to see how Sheppard brought needlessly much space between them and wouldn't even meet his eyes. He roughly pushed it aside, knowing that he would have done the same, wouldn't he be confined to bed, and concentrated instead on Elizabeth.

Elizabeth didn't seem to notice Johns weird behaviour, judging by the carefree smile on her face. "How are you doing Rodney?" she asked, coming to a stop in front of him.

"Doing fine Elizabeth." She frowned at his uncharacteristically subdued response but he just couldn't concentrate on anything else than the burning imprint on his thigh. Like Johns hand was still there.

So it was Sheppard who noticed them first.

"Elizabeth... where did you get them from?"

The choked question catched Rodneys attention and he finally took a closer look and almost fell out of the bed himself.

Elizabeth had brought him a dozen flowers. Purple flowers. Disturbingly _familiar purple flowers._

Her face lit up when she looked at the bunch lying in her arms. "Oh these?" she asked. "Aren't they quite beautiful. I think Dr. Brown named them 'Extolia'." She frowned at Rodneys shocked expression. "I know you are cautious because of your allergies, but you are in an infirmary! I'm sure you'll be fine." Without another word she thrusted them into Rodneys arms and he took them, too perplexed to do much else.

"B-But you weren't on the mainland, were you?"

She glanced at Sheppard, as if asking him if Rodney was really alright. When she saw the same puzzled expression on his face, she said: "How? I don't have time for vacations. Dr. Brown grows them on a balcony in the west part of the city. She just wanted a little bed because she can't go to the mainland as often as she would like to. But they were spreading more and more. Actually she believes that they are some kind of weed. Pretty weed, but weed nonetheless, so she allowed everyone to pick some. It's quite amazing: you pick them today and tomorrow the gab is already filled again."

Rodney was confused. There was an "All-you-can-pick bed" and neither John nor he knew about that? "Why didn't we know about this?"

"Well it wasn't a city wide announcement. Katie told some of her friends about it and they told others. I guess it just didn't filter down to you yet."

Sheppard looked as sick as Rodney felt. "So, you are telling me that _everyone_ can just pick those flowers when they feel like it, without having to ask?"

"Yeah, that's what I mean." Her curious expression morphed into a frown, the leader in her sensing that something wasn't right. "Why are you asking me all this? What is wrong?"

But John and Rodney didn't listen anymore but just stared at each other until Rodney broke the silence, voicing what they both thought.

_"Shit."_

* * *

_**A/N:** Oh my, I am a bitch aren't I? LOL Back to square one...or not? Hmmm...I don't know... *evil snicker*_

_Thanks again to **Wapeci **for the name of the flowers! I like it very much!^^_

_Wow, that was a monster of a chapter...my longest one until now but it just wrote itself, I couldn't stop it!_

_Can I ask you a question? Is it weird that I am already "mentally" writing the sequel? Don't worry though, I will definitely finish this one before I post anything else (except for One-shots maybe, should the plot bunny attack me) __So, I promised you fluff and you got it...at least I hope. At the rate the two are going I guess it should say 'slash' in the description and not just 'pre-slash'...although I don't think that I am ready to write something grafic...maybe in the sequel? XD_

_So, I gave you a lenghty chapter, major Mcshep fluff and a little twist! Now I want you to review like mad, so we can crack the 30 reviews mark!!! I won't write another one before we pull this off...No no just kidding! But seriously, (*hard stare*) review! LOL_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer:** Not mine, just the bad puns_

_**A/N:** So, this was planned to be a mere little filler but over the past few days it got so much more! I realized that I had to add some things that couldn't/shouldn't stand alone so this one kinda mutated until it was as much of a monster as the last one... even longer!_

_Some story developement and quite Elizabeth heavy but I'm not quite satisfied...but I'm afraid it's the best I could do for this one. Please tell me what you think, your opinions really matter to me!_

* * *

**09. Drama Queen and Lion King**

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Rodney groaned. Elizabeth was in full mother hen mode, a side which she didn't show a lot of times but when she did, you didn't want to be on the receiving end. Rodney was only glad that she was solely focused on John and mostly seemed to ignore him. Rodney suspected that she didn't expect anything else from him, but John was the chief of security and...

"I didn't expect Rodney to come to me. But you John, you are the chief of security and if there is a risk of security, I want to know about it!"

Rodney hid a smug smile behind his hand. Sometimes it was almost appalling how well he, Mr. Bad-people-skills personally, knew his colleagues. John on the other hand wasn't smiling. Actually, he was pouting like a little kid, caught with the hand in the cookie jar.

"I just tried to protect Rodneys privacy ma'am." Sheppard sounded awfully stiff and the smile died on Rodneys lips. Oh, damn him and his guilt trips.

"Oh, don't "ma'am" me John!" Although Elizabeth was still pacing in exasperation, Rodney could see that she wasn't as agitated as she was before. "Have you some suspects yet?"

"Yes, we have!" John said at the same time as Rodney blurted, "No, we haven't!"

John attempted to stare Rodney down, while Rodney just felt weary and tired. Maybe because there was nothing left of the pseudo-romantic atmosphere from a few minutes ago. Maybe because he still couldn't grasp what had happened, or almost happened, or would have happened for that matter, if Elizabeth hadn't come in when she had. The twisted and insecure part of him dreaded this possibility, but another, more quiet and small part, would have liked to know. But when he imagined that Sheppard could have reacted with disgust, not so much with Rodney maybe, but with himself, he shivered and was almost glad that Elizabeth_ had_ interrupted. Almost.

While the conversation continued (over his head), he felt the pain in his skull coming back with a vengeance.

'_And _maybe_ you are just so tired because of the damn concussion, genius.'_

"Who do you have in mind Colonel?"

"Well I found the behaviour of Lt. Connolly most suspicious during our time in the Jumper Bay earlier today."

Ok, hellish headache or not, this was his cue to do damage control. "Please, you still think that it's Connolly? Didn't you listen at all? It could have been absolutely _everyone_!"

"I did listen Dr. McKay." Oh, doctorate _and_ last name. He was pissed. "But that doesn't mean that the Lieutnants odd behaviour is any less suspicious. Besides, Connolly had still the best opportunity to get the flowers, without the chance of being observed while picking them from Browns little flowerbed."

"Connolly" Elizabeth drawled before Rodney could tell Sheppard exactly what he thought of that theorie. They watched how she tapped her chin thoughtfully in an unconscious manner, before she shook her head no and looked expectantly at John. "The name doesn't ring a bell. Did you have problems with her before Colonel?"

Rodneys head snapped towards Sheppard who did his best not to look at him. Rodney mouthed the words _"I dare you" _anyway, hoping that his murderous vibes alone would be enough to shut him up.

They weren't.

"Actually, Connolly is a _'he'_ , Lt. Alex Connolly." Sheppard stated coolly. "And no, I didn't have much to do with him until now."

Elizabeths eyebrows disappeared under her hairline. Her eyes met Rodneys briefly before she snapped them back to John and muttered a feeble "Oh" for lack of a better word. Rodney wouldn't have been half as embarrassed if they knew that he wasn't just interested in women. But they didn't, and somehow, although he couldn't say why, that made a big difference.

"Let me tell you that I don't agree with the Colonel." And boy, was he proud that he didn't stammer. "I always thought that it was just a stupid prank." Ok, so lately he'd had this _tiny little_ doubts, but they didn't need to know that. So he just pointed at the flowers lying on his nightstand and said: "_Now _more than ever!" He crossed his arms over his chest with an expression on his face that dared them to question his conclusions.

Elizabeth regarded him and the flowers with a thoughtful expression and Sheppard seemed to be ready to _question him anyway_, that stubborn bastard.

But before he could, Elizabeth nodded to herself. "I think Rodney is right Colonel. You were right to assume that it had to be one of Higgins team, but if you had asked me, I could have told you that the flowers were available to everyone." Sheppard looked like he wanted to interrupt but she stopped him with a raised hand. "It seems hinky that this person manipulated the video feed, I agree. But there's no proof that she, _or he_, is dangerous and that it isn't just a prank like Rodney thinks. It actually makes more sense that way. Someone wanted to pull his chain a bit, but didn't want to get caught. Maybe a scientist who had been one time too much on the receiving end of your wrath?!" She had locked eyes with Rodney during the last sentence and he frowned a bit in confusion when her serious expression turned into an amused smile. "And let's not disregard that, maybe, there really is just a shy, little lady out there who has a crush on you, hm?"

Rodney blushed under her glinting eyes but didn't protest. After all, he was winning.

And Sheppard didn't seem to like it one bit. "What about the letters?" he blurted, clearly distressed.

Rodney was, for the nth time today, surprised by his odd behaviour. He knew that the Colonel had a little problem with his over-protective streak, but this was extreme, even for him.

Elizabeth didn't seem to notice though. "What about them?" She sounded almost bored, eager to end this particular conversation. Rodney thought that she seemed to try to appear a little bit too indifferent. And Rodney could have sworn that there had been a hint of pink on the Colonels cheek, but when he blinked it was gone.

"They are clearly not written by a shy, little _lady_!"

Elizabeth seemed to find this vastly amusing. "And how would _you_ know that?"

Sheppard didn't step down. _'A man on a mission'_, Rodney thought fleetingly.

"You would think so too if you would have read them!"

Suddenly Rodney had a sickening feeling of foreboding. '_Oh no, she wouldn't...'_

"Well then," Elizabeth sounded smug, like she had wanted this all along. "show me!"

Rodney squawked a bit from his bed. Ok, he had to stop this. This had gone too far. Way too far. "No! No no no no no! There is no need for that! You already agreed with me!" And he didn't care that he whined like a petulant child. When his teammates had read the letter it had been humiliating enough but his _boss_ would be unbearable.

Elizabeth just graced him with a leveled look which couldn't quite hide her excitement. Why was it that everyone forgot how to handle things professional when said things had something to do with him?

"Don't worry Rodney. I just want to show the Colonel that he worries about nothing." Yeah, sure. Heck, she was even grinning now. "I won't tell anybody."

"But..." Sheppard stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and smiled encouragingly down at him from the side of his bed and Rodney couldn't help but smile back. Maybe Sheppard would support him after all and end this madness. Sheppard squeezed his shoulder lightly and looked back at Elizabeth with steel in his eyes, before...

"I left it in Rodneys quarters. Follow me." It happened so fast and nonchalant that Rodney was still smiling when Sheppard had already disappeared through the door, Elizabeth following hot on his heels. Only when Elizabeths head reappeared in the doorway, his face fell with realization. She smiled at him and called: "Don't worry. I'll bring him back in time for your next wake-up call."

A second later she was gone and Rodney buried his face in his pillow, a rather vain attempt to suffocate himself.

His day was now _officially _screwed.

* * *

John and Elizabeth drifted trough the deserted Atlantis, each one dwelling on their own thoughts. They didn't encounter anyone else. After all it was already quite late and the only personnel awake were the scientists doing a night shift in the lab and the marines on gate duty.

It was eerie silent at this late hour but Sheppard really didn't mind right now. It gave him the opportunity to mull over the last few hours. The accident in the Jumper Bay, Rodneys injury and of course the scene in the infirmary.

The first time Rodney had woken up John had took his hand totally subconsciously but when he had realized what he'd done and seen that Rodney didn't withdrew either it had felt natural. Familiar. _Right_.

And then later...oh he just got hot when he thought about _that_.

John hadn't noticed how close they had gotten. He truly hadn't. But he also couldn't say that he particulary minded the closeness. That he acutally minded Rodneys breath on his face or the feeling of Rodneys thigh under his hand... and how the hell had that happened anyway? He had never been the touchy-feely guy, so why hadn't it felt awkward at all? And why couldn't he just stop thinking about Rodney and the mess he got himself into for one friggin minute?

"You seem angry John."

And John was, he just hadn't thought that Elizabeth would notice or even approach him about it. But he was, and who could deny him his anger? Rodney could be so stubborn sometimes. Ok, so there _were_ a lot more possibilities, now that they knew about the secret flowerbed. But that didn't change the fact that Connolly seemed to have some suspicious interest in the scientist. Nobody watched someone like that if there wasn't something sinister going on. John wouldn't let Connolly off the hook just yet. He had instincts and he could trust them. Usually.

And he wouldn't lie to Elizabeth again. John had the distinct impression that Elizabeth had been more hurt than angry by their secret. And not because she would have had the right to know as the head of Atlantis, but because she was Rodneys friend too.

Besides, would he had told her from the beginning, he would have known so much sooner about Dr. Browns little project.

"I just think that McKay should take this more seriously."

"And you don't think that maybe you take it a little bit too seriously?" Sheppard gritted his teeth.

No he didn't think so! He didn't think that this was just a prank. And he didn't think that he could settle down before he found this _'Scientist's Lover' _and showed him (_or her, whatever_) what happens when you mess with one of his friends.

John didn't say any of this though. He didn't think that it would do him any good, so he just kept quiet.

He felt, rather than saw, how Elizabeth mustered him out of the corner of her eye, clearly waiting for an answer. When she realized that she wouldn't get one she let uttered an exaggerated sigh.

John was slightly amused. Sometimes she could be an outright Drama Queen. Maybe that was one of the attributes that made her such a good negotiator...

"Well _I_ think that you kinda do."

_Keeping quiet was getting harder than he thought..._

"But I also know that you have _no control _over that."

_Harder and harder..._

"You just can't stand the thought that something is out of your reach. And that's okay, _real-ly_.

_Incredible hard..._

"But I also trust your instincts and if you say we shouldn't treat this lightly, we won't."

Suddenly it didn't seem too hard to keep his mouth shut, because he was momentarily stuck speechless. Hadn't she, just a few minutes ago in fact, agreed with Rodney? And now she was agreeing with him? "What?"

Elizabeth regarded his confused expression with an exasperated one. "Oh please Colonel. Don't you think I already have a plan?"

Sheppard just blinked at her. This woman could still surprise him.

"I think that it would be best to get Rodney away from whoever is sending him these things. At least for a little while. There will be a trading mission in two days. I had planned to send SGA-3 because it is a fairly simple thing; the natives are very friendly people, very hospitable. But now I'll send your team instead. The mission will require 3 days, because the Kesslers wouldn't agree to a quick "one day visit". As I said, very hospitable..." She trailed off momentarily, as if thinking about something else. "Anyway. I think three days should be enough time for things to cool down a little."

Sheppard felt something click inside of him and he began to grin at her. "And if you would have disagreed with Rodney he would have thought that we want to get rid of him and he would have bitched about it for weeks." Elizabeth just smirked wider.

Yep, could still surprise him. Well, after all she knew Rodney almost as good as John did. But there was still something he didn't understand.

"But if you believed me from the beginning, why would you want to read the letter?" A sheepish look crossed her face and Johns grin widened. "Don't tell me you were just nosy!"

"No, of course not!" The answer came too fast and she knew it. "Not only! I really want to know if it is a prank or a real admirer sending those things."

John was momentarily lost. "But," he drawled, "you already agreed with me that it is the latter."

"No John", she stated like a teacher, answering the question of an obtuse student, "I agreed with you that we should take this more serious than Rodney does. But I won't rule out that we are just dealing with the prank of an individual with a sick sense of humor."

They paused in front of Rodneys quarters and Elizabeth turned to face him. "If it _is_ a prank I'm confident that the culprit will loose interest and cool down when Rodneys isn't here for a few days. But if it is the real thing, I will find out."

She seemed really confident and Sheppard quirked an intrigued eyebrow. "And how exactly Dr. Weir, will you do that?"

Elizabeth smiled at him, trying hard to stay somewhat serious. "I have my ways Colonel Sheppard. After all, women on Atlantis are quite talkative these days."

Sheppard tried hard not to laugh, but didn't quite succeed. "Sooo, you are going to check out the gossip around here. And what if it is a man after all? Our gender isn't known to talk about things like that, I'm afraid."

Her smile turned feral. "Don't you worry about that either. Like I already said; I have my ways."

Sheppard shivered involuntary and was glad when Elizabeth turned around to enter the code that would open Rodneys quarters and that only she and John knew, besides Rodney himself. "But let's not assume the worst." she chirped and punched the last key. "I'm sure it isn't half as bad as we make it."

The doors swished open and John would have laughed at the sight that met them, wouldn't it had been so damn creepy.

Everywhere were those damn flowers. Dozens of them. Spread on the bed, on the floor, on the table among all kinds of equipment, even in the bathroom. Just everywhere.

Rodneys quarters smelled like a goddamn garden shed and a totally inappropiate part of John thought, that Rodneys allergies would have went haywire, had he found this little surprise and that this person couldn't love him very much if he hadn't considered that when he had set this up.

When he finally felt strong enough to break the silence that had descended on them while Elizabeth had stared at the scene in disbelief, he forced himself to sound bored, altough his insides were boiling.

"Ok.." he said into the almost empty room, "_This_ is getting old."

* * *

Two days after their discovery Dr. Weir sat in her office, staring at a piece of paper without really seeing it. After all, she had read it so many times in the last 48 hours that she could recite it by now. She snorted a bit in self contempt. _'Yeah, big accomplishment you got there, Elizabeth._'

John probably knew it by heart too, although he'd had just a short glace at it. After he had found it between some of the Extolias in Rodneys quarters and before Elizabeth had snatched it out of his hands, feeling like her curiosity would kill her otherwise.

She knew that this note was shorter and actually rather harmless compared to the one that John had read earlier that day. Nonetheless, Elizabeth felt a shiver run down her spine, everytime she scanned through the words.

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

_'My Precious,_

_I was very displeased with your accident and I am sure that my little surprise will lighten your mood. Please be more careful until I am able to take proper care of you._

_Yours truly, Scientist's lover'_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The note could have fooled others to think that it was supposed to be sweet and caring.

Elizabeth wasn't others.

She was the leader of Atlantis and a trained negotiator. During her career she had learned how to read between the lines. While the words were sugar-coated, fooling the reader with a false sense of love and worry, she had been able to read between the lines with ease. Had read of anger and frustration, of _'displeasure', _rather than concern and sincere worries. Had read about a guy (she had begun to think of _'Scientist's Lover' _as a man without even noticing) that thought he held so much power over Rodney that his presents would certainly cheer him up. After an _explosion_, for God's sake.

But what made her blood run cold was the last sentence: claiming Rodney already as his, just waiting for the momenthe could take _'proper care' _of him.

The underlying promise, the threat, had screamed at her almost immediately, like it had been painted in red all over the piece of paper. And if she was fidgeting with unease and worry, she could only imagine how John had to literally _vibrate_ with it. And in some ways, he had.

When they had locked themselves in Rodneys quarters (or actually, locked everyone else out) to discuss the situation more thoroughly, John hadn't been able to stand still.

Pacing from one end of the room to another and back. Ocassionally stopping to pick at some flowers and either leave them alone after a while or sweeping them from the surface. Just to kick them across the floor when he resumed the pacing, leaving behind a mess of petals all over the room. He had repeated this circle over and over again, almost as if in trance, although a violent one. But when he had spoken his voice had sounded eerie calm, almost bored.

"I assume that you don't believe the 'stupid-prank' story anymore, do you?"

_Pacing. Back and forth._

"I mean, bypassing the code, _Rodneys code_, to get into his quarters is way too complicated, way too risky, to be just a joke."

_Back and forth. Stopping. Picking._

"And that he mentioned the accident like he had been _there_."

_Picking. Sweeping. Kicking._

"Like _Conolly_ had been there."

_More kicking. More pacing. Back and forth, back and forth._

Elizabeth had felt herself reminded of the one time her parents had taken her to the zoo on her 10th birthday. She had stood hours in front of the cage with the lion, mesmerized with the animals movements. It had paced behind the bars, strength and pride shining in every muscle. But also anxiousness and rage at being unable to do much more than repeat its circle. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Little Elizabeth had admired that strength, but feared the rage. She had imagined that the lion was just waiting to break through the bars and attack his aggressors with all its strengh and controlled rage that had bottled-up while it had resumed its never ending circle.

Although he reminded her of those old days, Elizabeth wasn't afraid of John. She would never fear him like she had feared that predator.

No, she was afraid for _'Scientist's Lover'_. This guy had made a big mistake. He had placed himself in front of the vivarium with a piece of meat around his neck. And he had left the door unlocked.

Elizabeth had forced herself back into the present then, trying to soothe John with promises. Promises to investigate. Promises to take it serious. Promises to keep Rodney safe.

At that he had locked eyes with her, eyes that had radiated determination. "Don't worry about _that_! That is my job!"

She knew that he hadn't meant his position as the chief of security, not even as the leader of SGA-1, but she had just nodded and hadn't commented on it.

Elizabeth had long since sensed that there was something special about the way John and Rodney acted around each other. During certain times she had even wondered if there was something blossoming between the two of them that was more than mere friendship. Ever so often, she chose to ignore it, telling herself that the romantic novel loving part of her saw feelings and gestures that weren't there.

But, sometimes, she would let her thoughts roam free. At those times she would imagine playing matchmaker, something she had been fabulous at during her Highschool days.

Sometimes Elizabeth had even considered talking to John about it. Not to put an end to it, but to encourage him. She had always thought that 'don't ask, don't tell' was quite a stupid rule, especially when you are currently living in another galaxy.

But in the end, she had always decided against it. To Elizabeth it had always seemed like John didn't really notice all the little things he did. Like holding Rodneys arm a little bit too long when he steadied him after a bad mission. Like sitting a little bit too close to the scientist during the debriefings. Or like the little fond smile on his face, everytime Rodney entered the mess hall when they all had already assumed that he had forgotten their appointment again. Elizabeth had feared that she would do more bad than good when she told him what she saw, that he wouldn't be ready for it, wouldn't see it for what it was and automatically deny it without even thinking about it.

And although Rodney seemed to be a little bit more aware of the tension between them, she would _never ever _speak to him either. God, he would probably rip her head off and give her the silent treatment for a few years.

But back then, in Rodneys quarters, watching John's pacing, she had reconsidered.

Something had definitely changed in the last few days. John had always concealed his concern with snide or sarcastic remarks, just so nobody could see that he actually felt something for Rodney, whether it was friendship or something else.

But back in the quarters, he had done nothing like that. He had been actually dead serious. Only genuine worry coloring his voice. John hadn't seemed to care anymore if Elizabeth saw through his facade. Hadn't cared that she saw his helplessness. Oh sure, he had still overplayed it with a stoic face and grim determination, but not as thorought as she was used to from him. Elizabeth assumed that he had felt it too much of an effort to hide his emotions, like he had been more aware of them himself. More aware of his feelings considering a certain scientist.

Elizabeth couldn't help but feel self-contended at that realization. Despite the situation it had just felt good to be right.

Nonetheless, she had decided to let the two of them deal with it alone for a while. If some letters and flowers could trigger such a change in the Colonels behaviour, she didn't want to imagine what three days of a shared tent could do at the moment.

"John" she had said instead, "what is the plan?"

And John had told her the plan.

They would proceed as planned, meaning that they wouldn't tell Rodney about the new delivery and go on the mission.

Elizabeth had gaped at that, but he had explained that all her smart planning would have been in vain, would they tell Rodney about this. He would think more than ever that they only wanted to get him out of the picture and probably outright refuse to go on the mission. So they wouldn't tell him at all, clean this mess while he was still in the infirmary and change the code for the door.

When Rodney had dicovered his new "key", Sheppard had told him that he had changed it, because the head of a department shouldn't have the same code for too long. Elizabeth had (discreetly) slapped her forehead at the bad and therefore rather obvious lie. But Rodney had been so enraged by the fact, that John had changed the code without his knowledge, that he apparently hadn't even given much thought of the squishy explanation.

At that moment Elizabeth had felt a pang of guilt for lying to Rodney about something that essential. But they did it to help, not to harm him, so she had swallowed her doubts and kept silent.

Now she sat in her office, staring at the note, waiting for Team Sheppard to get ready for the mission.

A fairly easy mission, mind you. Nice, sweet, overall simple people. Liked to dance, according to Major Lorne. They had finally agreed to trade food for medicine, although it had gone against their traditions. The negotiations promised to go fairly easy. Elizabeth had to smirk. It was actually more a vacation than a mission, especially for the boys. Teyla would do all the negotiations, although Elizabeth was sure that the Athosian wouldn't have many problems with the merry, easy-going leader. Yeah, it would be the perfect mission for them to take their minds off of things. Elizabeth frowned down at the note again.

And they sure needed it.

Rodney had gotten two more "packages" in the last two days (like Sheppard had predicted). One in his lab and the other one, thank god, _in front _of his quarters.

The video feeds had shown absolutely nothing and after a few hours Sheppard had given up his attempt to stake out the balcony with the Extolias of Dr. Brown. It had been like Grand Central Station, he had told her later. Dozens of women and, surprisingly, not a lot less men had come to get some of the flowers. Some had left with their arms full of them and sometimes the little balcony had been so crowded that Sheppard had been forced to leave it, in order to _not_ be crushed.

"Would she sell them," Sheppard had growled in frustration, "Dr. Brown would be a damn rich lady by now."

And Rodney hadn't been of much help either. He had outright refused to at least open the letters anymore, just dumped them and the flowers in the nearest garbage can.

John hadn't protested, hadn't pried, although Elizabeth could see that he clearly wanted to.

If John hadn't followed Rodney almost all the time, they wouldn't even know about the new deliveries.

And therein lied the rub.

Sheppard hadn't let Rodney out of his sight, much to the scientists annoyance, and had eyed everyone that had come near Rodney like a hawk.

By the end of the 48 hour observation, John had twitched with fatigue, which he had counteracted with too much caffein. Rodney on the other hand, had a constant scrowl on his face and was always looking over his shoulder to see if Sheppard was following him once again.

Oh yeah. If someone needed a vacation, it was the two of them.

A rap on the door jerked her out of her thoughts and the head of the gate technican appeared in the door. "Dr. Weir? Team Sheppard is ready to depart, ma'am."

Elizabeth deposited the piece of paper quickly in one of her desk drawers before she stood up. "Thank you. I'll be coming."

When she stepped onto the balcony the first thing she noticed was, that Rodney wasn't standing besides John, like he usually did, but actually rather far away from the Colonel. Sheppard didn't show whether he noticed this but Elizabeth knew he did and that he didn't like it.

But she really couldn't blame Rodney for wanting a little physical space between the two of them after the Colonels constant hovering over him the last couple of days.

Actually, she had been surprised that he hadn't already snapped Johns neck. After all, Rodney wasn't overly tolerant when it came to others invading his personal space. But he had tolerated it from John. Barely, no question there, but he had and Elizabeth felt her smile get smug.

"Good to go Colonel?"

He threw her a knowing grin. "You have_ no idea."_

Ronon and Teyla exchanged a confused look but Rodney threw him a glare as if he knew exactly what he had meant. The glare refocused on Elizabeth.

"I still don't understand why I have to go too. They have no technology whatsoever and no energy reading I could study."

"Suck it up McKay. Either everyone goes, or no one." Although the words sounded harsh, there was no heat behind them.

Rodney looked like he was ready to latch onto a lengthy argument so Elizabeth interrupted him with a loud "Deal the gate". She wanted them gone today after all.

When the Stargate was activated and they went through the gate, there was only Sheppard left in the Gate room so he could shoot Elizabeth a questioning look. She nodded slightly and after a few seconds he also disappeared through the wormhole.

Mere seconds of silent communication had contained so much more to the both of them.

"Don't worry." Elizabeth quitely answered his unspoken question. "I'll handle things on this side."

She turned away, seconds before the wormhole collapsed.

_

* * *

_

**A/N**: So... was I right to be dissatisfied or is it okay? Please tell me, I'm really insecure with this one!

_Elizabeth knows quite a low doesn't she? But I always thought that she makes a much better observer than Teyla! Besides, when the two finally hit it off together it would be quite fortunate to have an ally in the higher ranks! *hint*hint*_

_And you see: Sheppards subconsciousness knows for quite a while what's going on! ***subconsciousness rocks***_

_Not much John/Rodney interaction in this one, I admit, but the next few chapter will be so damn stuffed with fluff that I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it... after all I promised you an adventurous off-world mission... and I use the term adventurous loosely...LOL Don't worry though, there will be action too!_

_Love your reviews!!! Keep them coming guys! I won't set up a new deadline (for the lack of a better word), although it worked really well! **You guys rock**!_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer:** Not mine just the Kesslers_

_**Warnings for this chapter**: Rodney developed a potty mouth...short: Language! And lots and lots of fluff...cheesy...corny... fluff! You have been warned._

_**A/N:** WoW!!! So many reviews for one chapter! You guys rock! You rock hard! Thank you so much, every single one of them made my days! I wrote this chapter while I was fighting the flu, so if it's confusing at times, that's because my head was killing me!^^ I've experimented with different POV's in this chapter! The regular of course and, for example, authors POV (or omniscient POV, according to school) and OC POV._

_Hope you enjoy it! (By the way, we reached midpoint. It still looks like there will be 20 chapters.)_

* * *

10. The Skill To Toe-Dance

While Elizabeth returned to her office, another pair of eyes stayed glued to the event horizon while it fell apart. The man that belonged to those eyes tried his best not to show how frustrated he was. The last two days had been one huge disappointment. His beloved needed much more time to realize his feelings than the man had anticipated and he felt himself growing impatient. After all, he really loved Rodney. He was sure of it, because his heart had almost stopped when he had witnessed the explosion in the Jumper Bay. Then he had felt fury, for not being able to outstep the big Satedan. He had wanted to rip the alien and everyone who dared to get in his way apart and ravish Rodney right in front of them to show everyone, who he belonged to.

That had to be love, right?

And although the man had done his best to let Rodney know how much he loved him, his precious hadn't reacted like the man thought he would. He hadn't sat in his lab, reading his love letters over and over again and he hadn't displayed the flowers in his office or his quarters, with pride and love. No, he had thrown them away! The man was aware of that, because he had watched the video feeds to gauge his precious' reaction.

And everytime when his precious Rodney had rejected his signs of affection, Colonel Sheppard had been around and soon the man knew exactly who was at fault for Rodneys missing enthusiasm.

Sheppard was definitely a problem, but none he couldn't handle.

When they were back, that is. This time the man didn't try to hide his darkening expression. Three days without his precious scientist. He knew it would be hard, but it also gave him the time to take care of the _other_ problem.

When he saw the next shift coming towards him, to relief him of his gate duty, he allowed himself a little smile of anticipation.

Oh yeah, he would take care of the problem and when his precious Rodney was back, things would finally get into motion.

He had waited long enough.

* * *

At the same time, thousands of light years away on planet P3X-975, Rodney McKay was shaken by a rather violent sneeze.

"Oh, I knew it." he muttered while wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He threw Sheppard a poisonous glare. "Hope you are happy Colonel. The pollen around here could kill me like this." He snapped with his fingers before a look of horror crossed his face. "Oh my god!" Rodney fingered his neck while the other hand touched his forehead. "I can feel it. It's getting harder to breath! Is there a rash on my face? Is it getting blue? Do you.."

"Relax McKay!" Sheppard interrupted him. Rodney thought that the Colonel sounded much too amused, considering that he was talking to a dying man. "Your face isn't blue and there is no rash. And I sincerely doubt that your mouth would still be running a mile a minute, if your airways weren't perfectly fine."

During Sheppards speech Rodney had calmed down a little and realized that, indeed, breathing wasn't that hard. Actually kinda easy. He took a few deep breaths of survival and ignored the smug looks of his teammates. The damn sneeze hadn't come out of nowhere, after all. He eyed their surroundings warily and noticed for the first time, that the forest they were walking through was quite bizarre.

Some of the trees seemed to be higher than a skyscraper while others just about reached his shoulders. He shivered involuntary when he imagine the roots that had to hold the giants in place. It would be just his luck to get smashed by a gigantic tree.

But although the monster-trees were quite fascinating, his eyes remained mostly on the little ones. Rodney could only guess how many millenia they would need to get as high as their big brothers. He suddenly felt very small and insignificant in comparison to them. A feeling that he wasn't unfamiliar with but that he hadn't felt in a long time. Since coming to Atlantis.

Teylas voice bought him back to the present.

"Maybe someone is thinking about you?"

Rodney didn't understand what she meant and looked at her in confusion. That's why he totally missed the dark look that crossed Sheppards face at her words.

"Huh?"

"Is it not one of your superstitions that, when you have to sneeze, someone is thinking about you?"

Rodneys face split into a grin. Teyla was a quick observer, but sometimes even she could mix things up. He was eager to correct her, always happy to tell her about earth customs she couldn't possibly know. It made the homesickness a little more bearable when you could talk about those things. "No no! When you have the hiccups someone is thinking about you. When you are sneezing someone is saying bad things about you." He trailed off and his grin turned into a frown. "Wait. Do you think someone is running me down? Back on Atlantis?" He didn't give them enough time to answer. "I'm sure it's Kavanaugh. Guy can't stand when someone is smarter than him, which would be about everyone in the city!"

"Rodney, don't worry." Sheppard soothed with a wicked grin on his face, "If that superstition would be true you would have sneezed yourself to death years ago."

"That's easy for you to say Mr. Cool-and-easy-going-leader. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd hand out cookies during your so called training sessions." Rodney snapped back, but without any heat.

Truth to be told, he was too relieved to be annoyed. The last few days had put a noticeable strain on their relation.

Part of Rodney had been pleased with the constant presence of the Colonel. Who wouldn't? But a bigger part of him hadn't understood the Colonels actions and that had irritated him. Oh, he knew the _reason_ for the Colonels behaviour, but he didn't understand it. Okay, so he still got the flowers once a day. But nothing more! It wasn't like he had been attacked or like someone had broken into his office, or god forbid, his quarters. There had been no justification for the constant hovering.

But what had Rodney irked the most had been how somber Sheppard had been during those days. There had been absolutely no friendly banter between the two of them. Not that Rodney didn't try, but Sheppard had just followed him without taking the bait. From time to time, Rodney had even had the impression that Sheppard couldn't even meet his eye.

Sheppard had been under constant tension, always searching the hallways for something or someone. His turmoil had disturbed Rodney more than he would have liked and soon he had wished that Sheppard would just go away for a few hours, so he could compose himself again.

Although Rodney had moaned and complained about it, the mission had been a blessing. He had hoped so much that Sheppard would relax as soon as they set foot on this planet, bringing light years between them and_ 'Scientist's Lover'_.

And although Rodney had hoped for it, he had been more than surprised by the changes he had seen. Rodney had watched in awe how the stiff shoulders had slacked and the hard eyes had softened as soon as Sheppard set foot on this planet. And when Sheppard had grinned that lazy flyboy grin at him, Rodney had almost jumped up and down in delight. He had missed that smile for the last two days. He had missed _Sheppard_.

And wasn't that just ironic?

"Hey, it's much harder to be loved, than to be hated."

Rodney huffed indignantly. "They don't hate me. They respect me."

"Don't you mean fear you?" Ronon rumbled from behind them where he covered their six.

"That's rich, coming from you."

Sheppard chuckled under his breath but Ronon didn't seem to notice. Teyla watched the byplay with fond exasperation. Rodney suspected that she would have liked to participate in their banter, but thought that, at least one of them, should act like an adult.

Suddenly she stopped and pointed ahead. "We are here."

They had hiked on a more or less primitive forest road that had been marked with large stones on each side. Now they could see the first signs of habitation. Rodney was amazed to realize that the village wasn't built in a clearing, but between some of the biggest trees he had seen so far. Hut and tree stood side by side and the treetops would conceil the village from above. Wraith darts would have problems to maneuver through the trees, for the same reasons why SGA-1 had decided to come by foot.

Perfect protection provided by mother nature.

_'No wonder that they are so friendly with strangers. Have probably never even seen a Wraith.' _Rodney mused while they resumed their way towards the village. He watched some kids play hide and seek between the trees and a bunch of women chatting happily away with each other, without even taking notice of the strangers. And was this pair near the well actually dancing?

A happy-go-lucky place. Rodney sighed. So not the place for him.

Sheppard elbowed him in the side when they saw an elderly man and his younger counterpart coming towards them. Rodney was about to say that he didn't say anything (_yet_), when a cheerful voice interrupted him.

"Welcome, welcome my dear friends! It is so good to see new faces again!"

The smile of the old man was blinding and full of teeth. He was a short man with a hank of snow-white hair on his head. He was obviously well fed and the cheeks aroud the knobbly nose were tinged pink with excitement. Altogether an open and friendly face.

The complete opposite of the other face that stared back at them.

Rodney assumed that the figure, standing slightly behind the old man, had to be his son. The resemblance was striking. The same knobbly nose and chocolate brown eyes and the tell-tales of white in his hair, that were as white as his fathers. But that was, were the similarities ended.

While the eyes of the father shone with excitement, his sons were slits of suspicion. And he was much taller than his father, almost as tall as Ronon.

The guy was radiating hostility. The others felt it too and eyed him carefully when Sheppard took a step forwards.

"Nice to meet you ambassador Cayan _("Oh please. Just call me Cayan.") _I am Colonel John Sheppard. These are Dr. Rodney McKay, Specialist Ronon Dex and Teyla Emmagan."

Cayans smile grew even wider. He spread his arms and yelled, "Welcome to our village." To their surprise, he did a little pirouette when he said that. Cayan pointed a finger at the figure behind him, who hadn't even blinked an eye until now. "This is my son, Ceran. He is also very pleased to meet you."

Rodney was about to point out that Ceran didn't look like he did, but got sidetracked by the young pair he had seen earlier, now dancing its way right through their little gathering. Cayan didn't seem the least bit irked by the interruption, but clapped his hands in joy. The son did nothing.

Rodney gazed after the dancing and laughing couple. "Are you always dancing so much around here?" He hadn't meant to sound so disgusted but Cayan didn't seem to notice.

"Oh certainly!" Cayan chirped and displayed the oddly graceful pirouette again. "The gods danced over this world and in their wake, life blossomed. So we dance to please the gods. To dance means to be alive and to be alive is a reason to be happy. And we are even more happy today, because we are meeting with new friends, right Ceran?"

Cerans lips didn't seem to move when he said "Right."

"Oh this is a jolly day indeed!" Cayan trolled and Sheppard couldn't help but chuckle at Rodneys incredulous expression.

"Jolly indeed" he trolled along with a wicked smirk on his face.

_'God,_' Rodney thought while he buried his face in his hands, _'I am trapped in a Walt Disney Movie. When they start singing about the "Circle of Life", I am so out of here.'_

He just listened with one ear when Cayan told them that Ceran would show them the hut, they would be living in for the next three days, and that they could start with the negotiations after dinner. When he left he did so with a bounce in his steps. The people here seemed to do everything with more movements than necessary.

Ceran, on the other hand, didn't jump happily along when he showed them their hut.

Rodney was pleasantly surprised that the hut was fairly large and that it contained four single beds, one in each corner. The prospect of sleeping in real beds, rather than in a sleeping-bag, was enough for Rodney to forget about the hygiene of these things. Who knew who had slept in them before? His trained eyes picked the bed that looked as if it was the most unused. "I call dibs." he shouted and let himself fall on the bed in the far left corner.

Rodney knew he was acting childish, but he blamed it on this place. The good vibes, the village was emanating, were getting to him after all.

Sheppard chose the bed nearest to his (_'Don't think more of it than there really is!' Rodney chided his quickening heartbeat) _and Ronon just rolled his eyes and tried his best to look as impassive as always, when he settled on the bed nearest the door.

Teyla looked at them with something akin to frustration, probably thinking that they were impolite to their hosts, and turned to the still waiting Ceran.

"This accommondation is really generous. Thank you very much for your hospitality."

Ceran narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists and looked like he was about to lash out. Rodney saw how Sheppard and Ronon tensed but the moment passed and Ceran seemed to make an effort to calm down.

"You're welcome." he hissed through gritted teeth and left without another word.

"O-kay" Sheppard drawled after a second, "That guy doesn't like us very much, does he?!"

"Nothing gets by you." Rodney snorted.

"I believe that he is not as agreeable with the negotiations as his father." Teyla mused. "Dr. Weir told me that the Kessler's tradition originally forbid them to trade with other worlds."

"And why did they change their minds?" Sheppard asked.

"The ambassador got a fever, which Major Lornes team was able to bring down with antibiotics while they were visiting."

"And Mr. Happy-Feet was so grateful, that he reconsidered their traditions to get more of the wonderous stuff, right?" Rodney concluded and Teyla nodded. "I believe so."

"Understandable." Sheppard yawned from where he was sprawled out on his bed.

"Whatever. That guy means trouble."

Nobody said anything after Ronon's statement. There was nothing to add.

After a few moments Teyla broke the silence. "I would like to have a look at the fields. To be prepared for the negotiations." Although it wasn't exactly a question, John drawled, "Yeah, sure." In the meantime he had closed his eyes and crossed his arms behind his head.

"I'll go with her." And although Ronon _definitely_ didn't ask, Sheppard gave his permission nevertheless. "Do as you like, kids. But be back for dinner. And don't go with strangers."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Spoke our great leader."

"Would you like to accompany us Rodney?"

He was flattered that Teyla had thought of him, but declined nonetheless. "I have seen enough dancing people for one day, thank you."

Teylas eyes wandered over to Sheppard for a second, before she looked back at Rodney. For some odd reason, her smile seemed softer than before. "I think I understand."

Rodneys puzzeled gaze followed her until she and Ronon were gone.

"Huh. That was odd."

He expected some kind of reaction from Sheppard. When there was none, he looked over to the man besides him, who hadn't moved an inch for the last few minutes. Rodney frowned.

"Did you fall asleep on me?"

No response. Just even breathing.

Rodney expected to feel annoyed, but was actually quite content with the way things had worked out.

He hadn't been oblivious enough to fail to notice the dark rings under Sheppards eyes. The last few days must have been more difficult for the man than Rodney had thought. Although Rodney was sure that the Colonel would kill him for letting him sleep in the middle of the day, on a mission as well, he did nothing to wake him. John needed it.

For the next 40 minutes Rodney kept himself busy with the scanner, searching for an energy reading he could investigate, but came up with nothing.

He sat there in silence, Johns even breathing working on him like one of those tapes with whale noises, that were supposed to help you relax. Rodney was actually so content with John lying besides him and the sound of his breathing, that he wished it could always be like that.

He shook his head violently.

No, he wouldn't go there. He had made his peace with the fact, that he loved a man that would never love him back. He would take Johns friendship and treasure it. That was all he could ask for. Rodneys eyes began to prickle and he rubbed them fiercely. Stupid atmospheric humidity.

There was a light knock on the door and a beaming Kessler sticked his head into the room. "The dinner is served. Your friends are already there."

Rodney nodded absentmindedly. "Okay, thanks. We'll come." The Kessler smiled brightly and closed the door.

Rodney made a face when he rose from the bed and his back cracked. He cast a look in Sheppards direction and was surprised that the light sleeper hadn't woken up from the noise.

"Come on!" he said a little bit harsher than was necessary. "We finally get something to eat."

Sheppard didn't even stirr.

"Wake up already. I am hungry and I'll make you responsible when I fall into a hypoglycemic coma just because you are too lazy to get your butt out of bed"

Sheppard didn't even twitch.

"Sheppard?"

Nothing.

Rodney went over to Sheppards side and looked down on the sleeping man in growing panic. This wasn't normal.

_'Oh god'_, he thought, _'What if he hadn't been asleep but unconscious? Maybe the last couple of days had been too much after all? Maybe he had an heart attack? Or a brain clot! People can get those when they are under too much stress, right? Or maybe there is something in the air that is affecting him. Or..' _A rustle from the bed interrupted his mental break-down. Was he waking up after all?

Rodney hestitated only a second, before he leaned down and placed a hand on the bed besides Sheppards head. "John?" he whispered and, again, hestitated a mere second before he touched Sheppards cheek.

Suddenly a hand shot out of nowhere and grabbed his collar, while another took his upper arm in a vice-like grip.

Rodney could do nothing more than utter an embarrassingly girlish screech, before he suddenly found himself laying on the bed and the man, he had believed in a coma just seconds ago, was straddling him.

Rodney felt a fleeting sense of dizziness when the abrupt movement finally caught up with his brain and he realized what had happened.

"Bastard!"

"Tsk, McKay," Sheppard smirked down on him, not looking sleepy at all. "How often do I have to tell you to keep your guard up. What if I had been the enemy?"

"I wouldn't have tried to wake an enemy, you dumbass!" Rodney spluttered and John shifted. Only then Rodney fully realized their positions. He, lying on a bed and John on top of him. _Way_ too close to a certain part of him, that began to react to the close proximity of their bodys.

"Get off!" he said with a hint of desperation in his voice. Sheppard didn't seem to notice.

"Why Rodney, I think it's quite cozy here." When he leaned even further down, Rodney thought _he_ was going to be the one with the brain clot. Aside from the fact that all his blood was on its way to a part of his body _waay_ below his head.

_'Think about Miss Cottner!' _he chanted. _'Miss Cottner. Your english teacher with the bad teeth and the wart on her nose!'_

He hadn't realized that he had screwed his eyes shut. Only when Sheppard began to move away he opened them again. Sheppard was the one standing besides the bed now and the bugger was actually laughing. "Don't worry Rodney." He winked at him. "A few hand-to-hand fights and you will be the one to lay me." He turned to leave and Rodney was too flabbergasted to do much more than watch him go, while his mouth worked around a wit reply that never came.

_'What the hell was that?'_

If he didn't know better, he'd say that Sheppard had _flirted_ with him.

Just the very idea made Rodneys head spin. No that was not possible. John had shown Rodney many of his sides and emotions, maybe even more than he realised, but he had never flirted with him in any way. Had he?

No, Rodney was sure that Sheppard had just been infected with the cheerfulness of this place and had played a trick on him. He had maybe been a little bit more playful and out of character than usually, but John Sheppard had not flirted with Rodney McKay. Even if it damn straight looked and sounded like he had...

God, this place was messing with their heads.

If Sheppard kept acting like this, Rodney would go crazy before this mission was over. He really didn't need anymore deceitful hopes right now. He had plenty of them.

He left the hut and was almost run over by some dancing lunatics.

"Three days." he murmured, "Three days in Disneyhell and you'll be home."

* * *

The three days went by quicker than anyone thought possible and despite his earlier wishes, Rodney McKay was almost sad they did. And he wasn't the only one.

John Sheppard had enjoyed this mission like no other before. There had been no unpleasant surprises and no fatal misunderstandings.

Teyla had been absolutely engrossed in the negotiations and had told them over and over again what a great and wise leader Cayan was. John could believe the 'great' part, but the evening that Cayan had hopped on the table and began to dance and laugh like a maniac, he had secretly doubted the 'wise' part. Nevertheless, Teyla was always around the ambassador, even when the negotiations had been followed through. She had been amazed with the level of joy and happiness of the villagers and had hoped that she could learn their secret, so she could bring some of that light-heartedness back to her people. Teyla had followed the chubby man trough the village like a groupie (Rodneys words) and had hung on his every word.

Ronon, on the other hand, had been asked to teach some of the kids a few of his fighting moves. Everyone had been stunned that peace-loving people would want to teach their children how to fight, but Cayan had explained it.

"Fighting," he had said, "is just another form of dancing. The lessons would help them to get more control over their movements."

Ronon hadn't exactly agreed with the ambassador. But he had nonetheless agreed to show the kids some exercises so he wouldn't die of boredom. He would never admit it, but it turned out that the kids were quick learners and that the work with them was actually quite nice.

As for John and Rodney; their days had been filled with each other. Both of them had immediately realized that it would be a fairly boring mission for the two of them if they didn't find something to do, so they had teamed up and spent the three days together.

Especially Rodney had been worried that they would grate on each others nerves, the strain from the last few days still fresh in his head. But he had soon realized that, with the lurking shadow of the secret admirer gone, John was much more relaxed in his presence and easier to deal with. Rodney outright enjoyed their exploratory walks through the forest, even though he made sure that they weren't too extensive. Sometimes Rodney would just watch from the side, when John joined Ronon and the kids for a few hours and sometimes John would doze off besides him, when he was working on a new project on his laptop. But mostly they would talk and bicker about everything and anything.

Despite his attraction to the Colonel, Rodney had often secretly feared that he would tire of him, like he had done with everyone else in his life that got too close. He was incredibly relieved when he noted that that wasn't the case with Sheppard. If anything, he seized every little second he could share with John like someone dying with thirst would a glass of water.

He even endured the sparring sessions Sheppard had forced on him _("To keep us fit." John had said_), although he insisted to bitch and moan about it every second of the way.

John, on the other hand, had had the same fears as Rodney, but he had risked it intentionally. Contrary to Rodneys belief, John _had_ flirted with him that first day in the hut. Admittedly, it had started as a joke. He had been awake the second the Kessler had spoken but had deliberately not reacted when Rodney had spoken to him.

But then he had felt Rodney over him. Had felt the bed shift when Rodney had leant down. Had smelled traces of coffee in his breath and had heard the concern in Rodneys voice . But what undid him in the end had been the feathery touch on his cheek.

Before he realized his actions, Rodney had been under him, baby blues staring at him and he had felt Rodneys entire body. Every curve and every shift.

As soon as he had left the bed, John had already missed the warmth of Rodneys body. Had craved to touch him.

That had been the reason for the sparring. He couldn't care less about their state of fitness but he desired the feeling of Rodney under his hands.

John wasn't oblivious. He knew that there were some significant changes going on between the two of them. He knew that their relationship had changed during the last few days. He knew that he had changed. But although he knew all that, he hadn't had the courage to face these developements head-on.

And Rodney was too insecure to even speculate that, maybe, he wasn't just imaginating things after all.

That's why neither of them mentioned it. They just smiled and laughed and touched a little bit more than usual and savored the company of the other.

They were in fact so preoccupied with each other and their confusing feelings that they didn't notice two pairs of eyes following their every move. One with distrust and the other with fond amusement.

* * *

Cayan wasn't a stupid man.

He admitted that he tended to act like one. But how could you not when life was so wonderful? It almost forced you to act like a little kid again, to dance and to laugh.

Nonetheless, every so often he felt a pang of sadness when he watched his son. A constant reminder that the gods hadn't smiled down on everyone equally.

When Ceran had returned from his journey to another planet, the first and the last one in their history, he had been changed. He had told them about beings that stole your time. Of hatred and mistrust that had greeted him everywhere he went.

And that mistrust and hatred had turned his son into a stranger. Cayan missed the sound of his laughing son. He had decided that they would never again use the gate, or get into touch with other races.

It hadn't been worth their happiness.

A few years later, the Atlanteans had come and the Kessler's had been polite. Polite but wary. Suddenly Cayan had gotten the Moonfever and the strangers had helped. Without hestitation. Without asking for something in return.

And Cayan had hoped again.

The decision to trade with these people had been difficult, especially because Ceran had protested so fiercely. He had even suspected that the strangers had made his father ill just to heal him and gain their trust.

But Cayan had been willing to trust these people. To risk it. And he was glad he had.

Sheppard and his friends were wonderful people.

Teyla was a sweet girl, but hard negotiator. From time to time when they had discussed terms of their partnership, Cayan had wished that he could have met her when he was a few years younger.

The kids were having a great time with the Satedan and had already begged the big guy to visit them again as soon as he could.

And Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay... Cayan smirked when he watched the two men. It was the last day of their visit and they were sitting on a tree stump, watching Ronon and the children. They were actually sitting quite close and their fingers brushed slightly where they were lying on the wood.

Oh no. Cayan wasn't a stupid man and he decided that it was time to pay their new friends back for his recovered trust in mankind.

It was time to arrange a feast.

* * *

John couldn't believe what was happening.

Just a few minutes ago he had sat besides the ambassador and his friends at the table of honor and had watched the Kesslers dance some kind of waltz all around them.

He had been exited, when he had been told that it was tradition to end every important meeting with a party. The perfect end for a perfect mission. The food was delicious and the music was endurable, if not a bit raw.

Even Rodney seemed to be enjoying himself, even though he eyed the food with suspicion. Well, until John had tested it for citrus, something he did on every mission. It was like a tradition by then and the grateful smile on Rodneys face had always been worth it.

Yeah, the evening had been a full success. Until the ambassador had yelled: "It is time for the traditional dance of the visitors."

"D-dance?" Rodney had stuttered. "I can't dance!"

"It's tradition." had been the uncharacteristically brusque reply.

Teyla had taken Ronons arm and whispered something about, not wanting to '_break with their traditions'._

John had stared after them and Ronon had smirked back, leaving him only with Rodney left as his dancing partner. Rodney had gone as red as a beet and John was afraid that he hadn't looked much different. Why did things like that always happen to him?

After an encouraging nod from Cayan, they had hesitantly mingled with the crowd and had awkwardly begun to dance a slow waltz.

Rodney wouldn't look him in the eye, but focused on his feet instead. John assumed that it was only partly out of embarrassment and mainly because he had to concentrade on the rhythm.

The silence between them was killing John though.

"You tell someone about this and you are a dead man." he whispered jokingly.

"Oh, don't worry about that! It's not like I don't have to maintain a certain reputation. Dancing with the gigolo of Atlantis would so not agree with that."

"Gigolo? I am not a gigolo! And by the way, many women would jump at the chance to dance with me so I can't really believe that they wouldn't envy you right now."

_"_Oh I'm sure they do. And as soon as they see me they would rip me apart. No thanks!"

"Oh come on Rodney, I would protect you, you know that."

Rodney didn't comment on that, but muttered instead: "Why are you leading anyway?" He made an feeble attempt to extract himself out of his grip, but John wouldn't let him. Not when the back under his hand felt so good. After the first tense seconds he had relaxed more and more and noticed, that Rodney seemed to be the perfect dancing partner for him. He didn't need to bend down at all, like he needed with the most women he had danced with and Rodneys hand lay comfortable on his shoulder. Like it had been there his whole life. Their bodys complemented each other perfectly and John began to enjoy it more and more. He spun them around boldly, what elicited a surprised gasp from his partner.

"Because you are shorter than me, that's why Missy."

Rodney tensed a bit in his arms and John could almost smell his frown.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just a bit dizzy from all that dancing in a ring. I told you I can't dance!"

Sheppard knew that Rodney would never ask, but he heard the question anyway. "I think you are doing a fine job here Rodney."

Finally Rodney looked up at him. "Really?"

Rather than the quirked eyebrow and suspicious stare he had expected, all Sheppard could see in Rodneys face were insecurity, hope and... John swallowed hard.

Love.

Rodney McKay looked at him with so much love and admiration in his eyes that John Sheppard didn't know how he could have missed this until now. The realitation hit him like a hammer: Rodney McKay was in love with him. Maybe for a while now and he had never noticed it.

But what freaked him out the most was, that he wasn't as freaked out about it than he probably should be. The thought, that Rodney felt more for him than mere friendship, was making him feel actually quite content... No not content. Relieved. Happy. Absolutely fucking gorgeous.

Could it be that he felt more for his friend too?

Ok, so he_ had_ spent more time with Rodney lately. And he _had_ flirted with him on occasions. And he _had_ touched him every time he could and he _had_ acted different around him and..._oh boy!_

But he was straight wasn't he? Well, at least he had been for the last 37 years. Before he had met Rodney. Rodney. His best friend. His save haven at times after a particulary bad mission. It had been like that for the last year and suddenly everything changed within one week? Within one week he had fallen in love with his best friend?

"Everything okay?"

Rodneys question seemed to come out of nowhere and John snapped "Fine!" before he could restrain himself.

The mere second that he got a good look at Rodneys face, before he looked back down on his feet, was enough to make John feel like the scum of the earth.

He wasn't angry with Rodney. He was angry with himself, because he couldn't place the many different feelings he was brooding over. He had known what he was feeling for Rodney for a while now, but he couldn't admit it. He couldn't say it. It was just too mind-blowing.

Sometimes, even the great Colonel Sheppard was a coward.

He was so absorbed in thought, that he didn't noticed how he had pulled Rodney closer and closer during the last few minutes, until they were dancing so close, that it looked more like they were caressing each other. Didn't notice Rodney's pleased hum, when he ran soothing circles over his back.

Didn't notice how his body reacted without his consciousness. Like it always did around Rodney.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:

Okay, the bed scene was CORNY and while the dance scene was even more corny, that one was at least planned! The bed scene just wrote itself, I could do nothing against it! I tried!!! The two boys are so eager sometimes...LOL

_So John, at last the penny's dropped huh? At least partially..._

_You have to tell me if the next two chapters should be rather short, so they will come quicker, or if you would like one really long chapter (maybe like this one) that would need at least a week. I can't decide, so I'll let decide you! *evil me*_

_**Reply to hippygeek's** (awesome name by the way) **review:** Thank you very much for your advice! It's my greatest fear that the sentences are so complicated that no one will actually understand what I want to say. Although I also have this problem in my mother tongue. I have a habit of writing intricate sentences. It did me good in school but I guess it isn't that advisable considering fanfics. I'll try to do better although I'm sure I don't have to tell you how hard it is to break a habit. __As for the slang: LOL!!! I didn't really know that I used slang! I laughed so hard when I read it! I'm afraid I couldn't consider it in this chapter (potty mouth, that's why the warning) but I'll try the next time! Thanks again! _

_(But don't tell me that there is no correct comma placement whatsoever...I already know that. -.-)_

_R&R please._


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer**: Not mine...never will...god, I'm depressed now!_

_**Spoilers:** The Siege_

_**A/N:** Not as long as I intended it to be but it was one of those weeks where everything than can go wrong, will go wrong! I'm sure you know what I mean. The little one-shot I wrote was actually only so I could blow off some steam (that's why it got kinda angsty) so I could continue this one without letting it get too depressing._

_Thanks for your awesome reviews. They made the week seem not quite so horrible! Please keep them coming or I'll feel bad again... *blackmailing*_

* * *

11. Mud Wrestling

The parting from the Kesslers had been one huge blur for Rodney. But not because it had been a hurried goodbye, far from it.

The Kessler's had point-blank begged them to stay a little bit longer. Especially the children had been persistent, much to Ronons hidden pleasure. The Kessler's had lenghtened the farewell, much to the charging of Rodney, who had itched for a long shower.

No, it hadn't been quick at all. It had been frantic and it had been pure mayhem.

Everywhere he had looked, Rodney had seen dancing, laughing and in some cases even singing couples. They had been all over the place, bumping into each other with delight. Rodney had suspected that some of them were still a little bit drunk from yesterdays feast. And he couldn't blame them. He had taken one swig of the stuff and immediately put it down again. It had tasted like vodka and had been at least as strong.

When he had danced with Sheppard (and he was still blushing everytime he thought about that) he had felt kinda dizzy, but blamed it on the constant dancing in a round.

Now, though, he thought that he had been more drunken than he'd thought. Although it couldn't possibly be, he had quite vivid memories of Sheppard, pulling him against his chest and running circles on his back. Weird...

Rodney just hoped that he hadn't let his guard slip. Alcohol tended to loose his tongue and the control over his emotions. Needless to say that he never drank too much.

But Sheppard hadn't acted any different around him, so Rodney thought that it was safe to assume that his secret was still safe.

Cayan had almost burst into tears when he had said good bye to Teyla. She had been slightly embarrassed, but everyone who knew her saw that she had also been flattered.

It seemed as if the entire village had been there but no matter how hard he had tried, Rodney couldn't find Cerans face in the crowd. He didn't know if he should be relieved or worried about that.

"I hope you enjoyed your visit here, yes?" Cayan had asked at last and Sheppard had shot Rodney one of his unreadable looks before he had grinned sheepishly. "Yeah. It was...enlightening."

His choice of words had puzzled Rodney, but he hadn't asked. Sometimes it was better not to.

After a tearful (on the Kessler's side) and a hestitant (on Team Sheppards side) break-up, Rodney and the others had set out for the stargate.

"That was a truly delightful visit." Teyla said, still grinning from Cayan's open affection.

Ronon grunted: "It was okay."

"And you Rodney? How'd you like it?"

Rodney didn't answer Sheppards question right away, because he was fully concentrating on the ground so he wouldn't slip and fall. It had begun to rain during the party and hadn't stopped for hours. As a result, the ground consisted more of mud than anything else right now.

"Well," he mumured while he tried to free his boot out of a tiny mud pool, "apart from the insane singing and dancing it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

He didn't say that that was mostly thanks to Sheppards company, but he didn't need to.

"Yeah, the company wasn't too bad." Sheppard drawled, his eyes monitoring their surroundings.

Now Rodney concentrated on the ground because he didn't trust his face, not to show what he felt right now.

That's why he didn't see the brief exchange of a curious look between Ronon and Teyla, or how both of them suddenly tensed, because they had heard something in the forest in front of them. Therefore he also didn't see how Sheppard drew his gun or how a knife was flying right towards him. But what he heard was a scream near his ear that almost sounded like his name and what he felt was a body crushing into his and dragging him to the ground.

When he fell face down into the mud, his first thought was _'I'm going to kill him!'_

When Sheppard wouldn't let him sit up, his second thought was _'What the hell is his problem?'_

And when a familiar noise reached his ears, his third thought was _'Who is he shooting at?'_

It were just mere seconds but to Rodney, lying in the freezing mud, not daring to breath, it felt like hours before Sheppard finally moved away and let him at least sit up. "What the hell happened?" He frantically searched their surroundings for any sign of danger and noticed that neither Ronon nor Teyla were anywhere to be seen.

Sheppard was crouching besides him on the ground with a dark expression on his face while he surveyed the trees with narrowed eyes.

Rodney noticed that Sheppard had not a single drop of mud on him, while he himself was soaking in the damn stuff. How the hell was than even possible? But he noticed something else too and the anger died in his throat.

"You are bleeding!" He didn't like how shaky his voice was.

Sheppard finally looked at him like he had just realized that Rodney was there. Rodney pointed at his arm, which was bleeding from a gash on his upper arm. Sheppard followed his pointed finger with his eyes and seemed to be surprised by what he saw.

"Huh. The knife must have nicked me after all."

Rodney blinked. Knife? What knife? "What the hell happened, Sheppard?" He didn't like that he was so completely in the dark. The whole incident had been one big rush for him.

Sheppards eyes returned to the forest, scanning it, and the dark expression was once more firmly in place. "Seems like our friend was even more bothered by our visit than we thought. Ronon and Teyla went after him."

Right on cue, Ronon and Teyla broke through the treeline with a seriously pissed of Ceran in tow. The Kessler writhed and winced in Ronons tight grip and spat at them from time to time. "Let go of me! I will kill you! You'll never take over the village! I won't let you!!!"

Rodney groaned, just loud enough for Sheppard to hear. "Figured that it was too good to be true."

Sheppard smirked at him and stood up to went over to their fuming captive. "What are you talking about pal? We don't want to take over your village. We came to trade with you."

Ceran spit on the ground and Ronon growled darkly. "Don't fool with me, off-worlder! I have seen the world you live in, full of hate and betrayal. You would betray us too! Probably sell us to those Wraith as soon as you have the chance to!"

"We would never do that." Teyla said. She had heard the reason why the Kessler's had been so hestitant to trade from Cayan. "Not everyone is like the people you have met on your journey. We just want to be your allies, not your enemies."

"Silence woman!" Caran screeched. "I know you made my father sick, so you could heal him and gain his trust. I won't be fooled by your evil tricks!"

By now Ceran was as red as a beet and spittle flew from his mouth everytime he spoke. His eyes were wide open and darted from one tree to another instead of looking at them, as if he expected someone to watch them from the shadows. Rodney thought that he looked like someone on the edge of madness and he almost felt pity for him. Almost.

Rodney realized that he was still sitting on the cold ground (for no apparent reason) and made an attempt to stand up, just to fall back immediately when a sharp pain shot trough his ankle.

Sheppard was at his side faster than Rodney thought possible. "Your ankle?"

Rodney snorted humorlessly. "Oh I don't know Captain Obvious. You think?" Because honestly, wasn't the way he held his right ankle answer enough?

Sheppard looked down at him in exasperation and Rodney berated himself. Sheppard was just trying to be nice but Rodney tended to get a bit touchy when he was in pain. A trait of his personality he didn't like much, but couldn't help either.

Sheppard fingered the ankle gently. "It doesn't seem to be broken." he murmured thoughtfully before turning towards the others. "Ronon, Teyla. You take him back to the village and explain what happened. If they give you any problems contact me immediately over the radio. Rodney and me will go to the gate and wait there for you."

Ronon looked like he wanted to object but kept still. After all, Ceran seemed to be the only madman in town they'd have to deal with. He waited while Teyla took some bandages out of her vest and patched up Sheppards arm. The wound didn't seem to be too bad, since Sheppard didn't even blinked when she tightened the knot.

"We will come back as soon as we can." She said and followed Ronon who was already dragging the now oddly lifeless Ceran back towards the village they had left just half an hour ago. Sheppard turned back to Rodney and watched him how he shivered in his wet clothes.

"W-what?"

Sheppard sighed and wordlessly handed him his own jacket, which he had taken off when Teyla had tended his arm. Rodney looked at it for a few seconds before he awkwardly shrugged out of his drenched jacket and putting on Sheppards instead. His eyes lingered a moment on the bloodstain.

"So," he drawled, still sitting on the ground, but at least in a dry jacket. "you jumped in front of me."

"And knocked you down, yep." Sheppard said easily, not noticing how low Rodneys voice had been. "Couldn't let you get hit by that knife, could I?" He offered him a helping hand, but Rodney just stared at it blankly.

Suddenly a fierce surge of anger passed through him and without further ado he slapped the outstretched hand away.

Sheppard watched in confusion when Rodney came to his feet. With difficulty and a good amount of pain, but this time he didn't say anything about it and just clenched his teeth.

He didn't want to take Sheppards hand. Hell, he didn't even want to look him in the eye right now. He began to limp down the path, not acknowledging John's bemused expression. "I can walk on my own, thank you Colonel."

Maybe for the first time in his entire life, Rodney McKay concentrated gratefully on the pain his body gave him so he wouldn't have to think about the man behind him.

* * *

When Ronon and Teyla reached the village, Cayan already awaited them. Teyla had never seen him this somber during the entire tree days, not even when he had told he about the changes of his son.

There was no trace of that familiar cheeky grin she had seen so often in his face and he had hung his head in shame when he had seen them coming.

He looked defeated.

Ronon seemed to see the same, because he relaxed slightly and his hand didn't lay on his gun anymore. Teyla had refrained from telling him how suspicious he acted because she knew that he did it automatically. The Kessler's had never been any threat to them. Just one.

They stopped in front of Cayan whose eyes were on his son. She couldn't tell what she saw in those eyes; Disappointment? Anger? Sadness? Understanding? Fear? Maybe a bit of everything?

She just knew that Ceran couldn't meet his fathers gaze and that it saddened her more than it should.

Teyla didn't know what to say, something she wasn't familiar with, but Ronon beat her to it. "He attacked us."

She winced at his brute honesty and was worried how Cayan would react.

The ambassadors eyes never left his son when he spoke. "When I searched for him and couldn't find him I feared something like that. I hope nobody was injured?"

Teyla had the impression that the last question was directed at his son but answered nonetheless. "Colonel Sheppard has a gash on his arm and Dr. McKay a sprained ankle." She felt sorry for Cayan when the man winced at her words but didn't regret them. When there would be a punishment, it should be suitable for the crime. Although she felt kinda sorry for Ceran too, she wasn't willing to downplay his actions.

Cayan composed himself quickly and her admiration for the man grew. "I understand." His voice was low but his next words were sharp as a razor. "Son, you will go to my hut and wait there for me. Now." He then nodded to Ronon to release his son and the Satedan hestitated only a second before he released Cerans arm. The young Kessler almost ran towards the ambassadors hut and Teyla wondered how old the young man actually was.

Some of the steel that had entered Cayans eyes disappeared with his son and he finally focused on the two off-worlders. "I hope you will accept my apology. I will see to Cerans punishment." He looked much older than he had an hour before. "I would understand if you would never want to see my people again."

Teyla smiled at him in, what she hoped, an encouraging way. "Please don't worry about that, Ambassador Cayan. Nobody was hurt too bad and your people have been very kind and inviting. We will not let one incident endanger our newfound friendship." Ronon nodded absentmindedly. Teyla assumed that he was already bored, now that he had nothing to do but listen to the two of them.

Cayan grinned, a poor imitation of his usual grin but Teyla was nonetheless very happy to see it.

"That is wonderful. Thank heavens." Suddenly his grin got wider and more warm. "Why don't you stay, so we can celebrate our first overcome crisis as allies?"

Teyla almost laughed at the obvious attempt to get them to stay. "I am afraid that will not be possible. Our friends are already at the gate and need medical treatment."

Cayan sobered a little but didn't loose the small smile on his lips. "That's too bad but maybe next time."

A few children called for Ronon and waved their little arms in excitement. Ronon didn't bother to wave back but it was him who said "Sure." with a small grin on his face.

The Kessler beamed at that and he seemed to loose some of the years his son had forced onto him in the last hour. When Teyla and Ronon turned to go, Cayan touched her arm and caused her to look back to him.

"Please send Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay my regards. I hope they'll be okay." And for some inexplicable reason, he blinked at her with a secretive smirk on his lips, like he was talking about something else entirely.

* * *

John was confused. Okay, so confused was an understatement, but at least a good beginning to describe the way he felt.

There he was, Dr. Rodney McKay, the biggest hypochondriac he had ever met, limping in front of him on a sprained ankle and not uttering a single word about it. And although Sheppard could tell by the way Rodney was sweating and biting his lip, that the scientist had to be in a great deal of pain, he refused to accept John's help. And on top of that, he was giving John the cold shoulder. He wasn't even complaining about anything. And he would have good reasons at that. Drenched from head to toe in mud and walking through the forest on a sprained ankle.

If John didn't know better, he'd say that Rodney was mad at him but he really couldn't figure why. And that irked him.

"Do you want to take a break? It's still almost a mile to the gate."

"No."

Does your ankle bother you much?" _'Stupid question John.'_

"No."

_'Ok, no more beating around the bush.' _"What is bothering you Rodney?"

Silence, then: "Nothing."

Sheppard's eyebrow began to twitch. Speaking in single syllables was _so_ not Rodney and John had enough of talking to his back.

He grabbed Rodneys arm and spun him around, forgetting about his ankle until he heard Rodneys strangled gasp. But John didn't let go. A silent Rodney unnerved him more than he would have liked.

"What is wrong with you?"

Rodney shot him that I-could-kill-you-and-make-sure-no-one-ever-finds-your-body glare he used with incapable scientists, but John didn't care. It was better than nothing at all.

"You knocked me down." Rodney hissed as if that would explain everything.

John looked at him like he was nuts. That was it? God, sometimes Rodney could be as ungrateful as they came.

"Look. I'm sorry that you sprained your ankle during the fall but I had to act fast, otherwise the ankle would have been the least of your problems."

It was Rodneys turn to look at him like he was the biggest idiot walking on earth, or...well, P3X-975. He tried to rip his arm out of Sheppards grip, but John held on.

"That's not what I meant! God, sometimes you are so dense!"

"If I am so dense, then please enlighten me genius!" Sheppard was yelling by then. It was hard to keep your countenance when arguing with McKay.

Rodney averted his eyes. "You knocked me down."

"Yeah we already clarified that."

"When somebody threw a knife at me." He finished darkly.

Sheppard was at a loss for a moment before he realized that Rodney hadn't just averted his eyes but actually focused on another spot. His arm.

_Oh._

"Rodney," he said softly, relaxing the grip he had on Rodneys arm, "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have seen the knife in time to get out of the way on your own. Shit, _I_ barely saw it in time. Besides, it is my job to protect you."

Rodney stiffened momentarily and wrenched his arm out of Sheppards loosened grip. "Yeah, the perfect job for an altruistic fool like you."

John was slightly taken aback. It wasn't the first time that Rodney had accused him of being an 'altruistic fool'. The first time had been after his attempted suicide mission during the siege. When they had been save again, Rodney had screamed at him in his quarters before he had avoided him like the pest for a whole week. Apology #101 had finally done the trick and he had finally been able to tease his favorite scientist again. Those reactions had been born out of anger and maybe even fear over loosing his best friend. But this time, Rodney didn't sound mad but bitter and dejected and John couldn't fathom why. He repeated what he had said in his mind and suddenly it hit him.

Job. He had said that Rodneys protection was a job to him.

And it was. He _was_, after all, the chief of security. But that wasn't all. Rodney wasn't just a job to him. Would never be just a job to him. And yet he had told Rodney that he was.

"Rodney" he said but restraied from touching the upset scientist again. It wouldn't do them both any good right now. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

A mask of indifference slipped back on Rodneys face.

_'Probably thinks he said too much.'_

"Sure I know. Let's go already. I want to be at the gate before the Kessler's decide that one whacko is still more important than new allies." He had resumed limping while he'd talked, but Sheppard didn't move an inch. That hadn't been enough. Not nearly.

_'Come on John, don't be a coward. Rodney needs this.'_

"I didn't put myself between you and the knife because it was my job. I did it because I would rather take the risk of loosing an arm, than do nothing and let you die."

Rodney stopped dead in his tracks and looked back at him, suspicion and hope fighting on his expressive face. Sometimes John was astounded how insecure Rodney could be when someone showed him some affections. It made him wonder how often he received those before he came to Atlantis.

After some anxious seconds, in which John barely dared to breath, some tension left Rodneys shoulders. "Like I said. Altruistc fool." he muttered but a smile played on his lips, so soft that John almost missed it.

"That's me." he said and grinned. Seeing Rodney smile made something funny to his gut.

Rodney stared back at him, favoring his right leg. "What are you waiting for? Christmas?" John just kept grinning. Yep, that was his Rodney. "And anyway. How come that you have no mud on you whatsoever? Did you use me as a shield after all?"

John began to move towards him, shrugging as nonchalantly as he could. "Oh I don't know Rodney. Maybe I'm just falling more graceful than you do." He hadn't even finished, when he suddenly tripped over a branch. For a few seconds, the only thing that held him upright were his rolling arms before he lost the battle with gravity and landed on his butt.

Hard...on the ground...in the mud...in front of Rodney.

_'Crap!'_

He looked up to find Rodney staring down at him, his expression blank. For a brief second, John though that Rodney wouldn't react at all but suddenly the scientist broke into a wide sunny smile before he doubled over and burst out laughing. Not a mocking or sardonic, but a ringing laughter full of childlike delight.

John had never heard him laugh like that. On the few occasions when he had seen Rodney laugh it was rarely more than a chuckle and even if it had been more it had always sounded kinda choked and restricted. Like he had practiced it many times but didn't trust himself to do it right.

_'That's his true laughter.'_ Sheppard realized suddenly_. 'Not a fake one, but the very real thing.'_

And he had caused it.

John Sheppard had done many things in his life, that he could be proud of. Heroic things, like saving whole planets in another galaxy. But despite all that, he had been never more proud of himself than he was this very moment. He was sure that he had never achieved something quite as wonderful as this.

But as much as he loved the sound of Rodneys laughter, it was more what he saw that made him all warm and fuzzy inside.

Rodney was doubled over, one hand resting on his chest, the other on his left knee. John could see from his position that he had laughed himself to tears. Occasionally, his laughter would die down to a chuckle but as soon as his eyes landed on John he would burst out laughing anew.

And everytime John got a glimpse of his eyes, a jolt went through his body.

There were still traces of mud on Rodneys face and in his hair, but that only made the blue of his eyes much more pronounced. An intense blue he had never really noticed before and his laughing fit had turned Rodneys cheeks red with excitement.

He was just looking stunningly beautiful.

_'I love this guy.' _

The insight came out of the blue, but he didn't push it away like he had done the last three days. He embraced it because, in this moment, he knew that it was true. It was an incontrovertable fact. It was inevitable. He realized that nothing he could say or do would ever change that.

So he didn't try anymore.

He was in love with Rodney McKay.

He repeated that over and over in his mind, while he watched Rodney calm down and everytime he did so, it sounded better. Sounded right. He wanted to shout it, to grab Rodney and tell him that he felt the same. He wanted to...

"Come on Superman." A hand appeared in front of his face and a flushed Rodney looked down on him, smile still firmly in place. "Let's go home."

_...wait._

No he didn't wanted to, but he had to. Home was Atlantis and Atlantis was currently the home of some deranged stalker. John couldn't let himself get distracted and he couldn't confuse Rodney in a time like this.

_'No.'_ he vowed while he grabbed the offered hand._ 'First I will catch this pervert. After that, there will be still time for other things.'_

Rodney winced when he put too much pressure on his damaged ankle. Sheppard slung Rodneys arm over his shoulder and was relieved when Rodney didn't pull back.

"Are you sure you are up to this? When I tell Carson that you tripped, again, and pulled me with you, he's going to eat you alive." Rodney asked and smirked at him. John couldn't help but smirk back and pulled him closer.

"I guess I'll have to risk it. Cause, you know, I'm not gonna let go of you." He laughed inwardly when Rodneys eyes widened and his cheeks turned bright red. Rodney looked down again and mumbled something unintelligible, but John catched it nonetheless and smiled softly.

Who would have thought that there wasn't much difference between flirting with a woman and flirting with a man. And just because he'd decided to wait, it didn't mean that he couldn't do just _that_. Rodneys reactions made the waiting almost woth it.

The smile never left his lips while they walked to the gate or while they waited for Ronon and Teyla. And that's how they found him and Rodney two hours later.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N

: Okay, so the scene with with Cayan and Teyla and Ronon wasn't planned but when I reread the whole thing I knew something was missing. Sorry if it seemed a little bit rushed at certain parts and I have the feeling that the grammar is more than crappy... as crappy as this whole week. Narf, sorry! I'll cheer up during the weekend, promise!

_The feelings are clear now (on both sides) and they are retuning to Atlantis! There won't be as much fluff as there was in the latest chapters for a while, cause it's time for plot developments! Much of them! The plot tickens my friends and there are still some surprises waiting for our heroes!^^_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer**: Don't own nothing

Thank you so much for all your reviews! Please keep them coming, they are like food to me!

**A/N:** For the sake of this story, I assume that Rodney doesn't carry a gun outside of missions. So he also hasn't one in his quarters!

Intrigued? Well, read on...

* * *

12. Dire Consequences

When they returned to Atlantis John continued to support Rodney, not quite ready to let go yet. Elizabeth already awaited them and raised an eyebrow when she saw Rodney's condition. "Welcome back SGA-1. What happened?"

"Oh, he just slipped and sprained his ankle."

Teyla had asked them not to tell about the attack. She was afraid that it would just complicate things and she was confident that Cayan would handle the situation to their full satisfaction.

John had been surprised when Rodney had easily agreed. He'd complained and grumped about it for 5 minutes, but in Rodneys case that was like nothing.

But it seemed that he wasn't _that _approving of John's explanation. "What do you mean _'just'_? And I didn't slip, you pushed me!"

But Elizabeth was already asking Teyla about the negotiations. She didn't seem to be too concerned about their contradicting explanations. She was, after all, talking to two men who could argue for hours about totally trivial things.

John was momentarily distracted from Teylas brief conversation with Elizabeth when hushed whispers reached his ears. What he saw dampened his mood considerably.

Lt. Connolly was arguing animatedly with another marine that John only knew by sight. John was instantly intrigued by the way Connollys face was bright red and sweaty and how he seemed to restrain himself from shaking the other guy. The nameless marine however seemed collected and calm, a slight frown the only indication that something was bothering him.

All of a sudden his gaze darted towards their small gathering and he locked eyes with Sheppard. Connolly, seeing that his companions attention wasn't on him anymore, turned to follow his gaze and while his friends face was impassive, Connollys eyes narrowed and his lips turned into a thin line. John had the ridiculous urge to snarl like a dog, but a hand squeezing his shoulder stopped him cold.

Rodney was staring straight ahead as if he hadn't noticed the quick exchange between the two soldiers. But John could tell that he had noticed it and that he hadn't liked it.

_'He still doesn't know how dangerous this secret admirer really is.' _John realized and felt slightly bad for keeping Rodney in the dark about the invasion of his private quarters, but squished that feeling almost immediately. Rodney didn't need to know about it. John would protect him. John would show everyone that there would be dire consequences when you messed with his most important person.

He pulled Rodney closer than was probably necessary and spoke more husky than was _definitely_ necessary. "Come on Answerman. Let's get you to Carson."

He had barely enough time to enjoy the heat of Rodneys body or the deadly look he received from across the room, before Carson appeared at his side out of nothing. By then Sheppard was ready to support Rodneys theory that Cason must have found some kind of device that allowed him to float, rather than walk, across the city.

"Don't bother Colonel. Rodney shouldn't walk on the ankle anyway." With that the doctor pointed at the wheelchair he had brought with him.

"What are you doing here, doc?" John asked while he (reluctantly) lowered Rodney into the offered wheelchair.

It was the scientist who answered, "Hello! Earth to Sheppard! Elizabeth called him just a few minutes ago. Don't you remember?"

It was more like he hadn't even noticed the call at all. He had been...preoccupied with other things.

"Come on lad." Carson said while he began to wheel the pouting scientist away. "Let's see what you've done this time."

"What I've done? You think I do this kind of thing on purpose? What kind of doctor are you?"

"A very impatient one." Carson replied with (partly) faked exasperation.

John contemplated to go with them but Elizabeth stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. Her serious expression and the almost unnoticable shake of her head told him everything he needed to know. She had some news for him and he wasn't going to like them.

"Oi Sheppard!" He turned to see Rodney and his awkward attempt to shrug out of his jacket while he was still sitting in the wheelchair. "Your jacket..."

"Don't worry about it Rodney! You can give it to me later." he yelled back and with a smirk added, "After you washed it by hand of course."

Rodney huffed and murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "In your dreams" but pulled the jacket closer anyway, as if savoring the warmth of it.

The sight made John's heart beat a little bit faster.

When Carson and Rodney were gone and Teyla and Ronon followed them, Elizabeth asked John to come to her office, so they could "discuss" a few things. While he followed her, he looked back to discover that neither Connolly nor his mysterious friend were anywhere to be seen.

He had a brief feeling of foreboding but ignored it. Rodney was with Carson, perfectly safe.

Nonetheless, he would try to keep this "discussion" as short as possible...

* * *

The man was fuming.

He had changed shifts so he could witness his lovers return after three long, long days, only to see how the smug bastard Sheppard had an arm around his precious' waist.

When the man had realized that Rodney was injured, it had taken him everything he had, not to run over and rip him out of that bastards arms.

He had been furious when Sheppard had smirked at him and pulled his precious even closer. And he had been confused when Rodney had acted like he didn't mind at all. But the man knew that that had to be wrong. Rodney loved him! Just because he didn't know it yet, didn't make it any less true.

When the man had heard that Rodney wore Sheppards jacket it had almost been to much. He'd had to leave.

His hands were shaking and he was breathing hard. The last few days had been very unpleasant. Dr. Weir and her constant prying had kept him on edge and he had felt like a criminal. He was fed up with it and with Rodneys constant rejections.

His precious had to learn that certain actions required certain consequences.

* * *

Elizabeth had known that something was different the second John and Rodney had returned through the gate.

It certainly hadn't been the first time that they had returned from a mission injured and supporting each other. Truth to be told, it happened more often than any leader would have liked.

But their awareness of each other had been different this time. Their postures more relaxed. She even thought that Sheppards expressions had been more tender, more loving.

_'God,_' she thought while she took a seat in front of her desk. _'I really hope I'm right but it would make this also a lot more difficult.'_

"So? What do you have?"

Elizabeth sighed. She hadn't really thought that John would begin this conversation with small talk, but this was a bit sudden. But the sooner she told him, the better he would handle it. At least that's what she told herself.

"I asked around a bit. Discreetly of course. I have spoken to people who know Connolly and to people who know what's going on around here."

John smiled at that. "You mean the tattletales."

Elizabeth chose to ignore him. "And I heard some interesting things."

"What kind of things?" John asked, all serious again.

She eyed him a few seconds and tried to predict his reaction. "It seems like Connolly had a (not so secret) affair with Dr. Merry."

She was once again amazed how well Sheppard could hide his emotions when he wanted to. The only indication that he had heard her at all was a sharp intake of breath.

"Well... that would explain some things."

Dr. Merry was a sore point for all of them.

Roughly two months earlier, Rodney had started to act strange but had refused to tell anyone what was bothering him. He had worked more and slept less than usual. And that meant working hours that would have killed any other person.

He had been more grouchy, almost aggressive, and it had seemed like he was pondering about a problem 24/7.

John had been about to call him out on it, when Rodney had come to him and Elizabeth on his own. It turned out that Dr. Merry had been the reason for his exhausted state and that she had almost managed to blow up the whole city just a few hours ago.

And it hadn't been her first grave mistake.

You could say what you wanted about Rodneys methods as the chief of the science departement, but he would never let one of his scientists go without a fight.

He had berated her everytime she made a mistake, everytime she was late for work and everytime she had refused to work in a team and instead had hampered the others. He had given her impositions and the most disliked (and harmless) projects he could find. Rodney had even tried to be gentle with her and to talk _with_ her, instead of _to_ her.

Nothing had helped. Nothing about her demeanor had changed.

So he had begun to observe her, even if it wasn't his shift, and to recheck all her projects. But his exhaustion had finally taken over and his attention had slackened...what had almost lead to the destruction of the city.

Rodney had told them, head hung in shame, that Dr. Merry wasn't suitable for a position on Atlantis and that she was an intolerable risk to the city and that it would be better to send her back to earth.

Elizabeth had understood his devastation. It had been the first time that he hadn't been able to straighten things out with one of his scientists. He had failed with Dr. Merry, where he had succeeded with Dr. Atlas just a few week before. And he didn't take failure very well.

Elizabeth on the other hand, had immediately supported his decision. Truth to be told, if the loss of one minor (and apparently dangerous) scientist was all it took to get Rodney to rest again, she would gladly pay the price.

Was that biased of her? Probably.

Two weeks later, Dr. Merry had left Atlantis but Rodney had been gloomy about it for weeks although he had tried to hide it.

Yes, the Merry-episode was a sore point for everyone, especially his friends.

But it also meant that there had never been a _real_ secret admirer if John was right and Connolly had been the one to send the letters. At least Elizabeth couldn't imagine how somebody could fall in love with someone who was, indirectly, responsible for the break-up._ 'Although you could never know...'_ she mused.

"So it's some sort of revenge then?" Sheppards asked and she shook her head no. This was the hard part.

"We can't know that John." She silenced him with a raised hand. "According to his friends and colleagues he had never said anything bad about Rodney. Most of them thought that he wasn't that sad about Dr. Merrys departure. And even if he is mad at Rodney, we don't have any proof just assumptions. And I can't send someone to the brig because of assumptions."

John chewed on his lip in thought and when he looked her in the eye, Elizabeth felt a shiver run down her spine.

"And what if we'd have a confession?"

Before she could ask what he meant, or wonder if she even wanted to know, his hand flew to his radio and the dark expression was immediately replaced by a small smile. "Sheppard here. Miss me already Rodney?"

A bemused expression crossed his face as he listened before he uttered a startled, "Whoa Rodney, hold on! What are you talking about?"

While he listened, Sheppard's face became unreadable but Elizabeth knew instantly that it was going to be a long day.

* * *

-_Some minutes earlier-_

In his quarters, Rodney McKay let out a quiet cry when the hot water finally hit him.

These acients might have invented some stupid things, but their showers were pure bliss for a battered scientist. And he really needed this right now. The mud had begun to dry and itch where it had gotten under his clothes.

Carson had wanted him to take a quick shower in the infirmary so he could bandage his ankle (which should be fine in a few days and didn't require crutches as long as he didn't walk too much), but Rodney had outright refused. He had wanted a long shower in his own quarters. He thought that he deserved as much.

After a long (and sporadically pointless) argument, Carson had finally relented and agreed to come to Rodney's quarters after his shift was over, so he could tend to his foot. So long as Rodney promised to stay his quarters and to put some ice on the ankle.

Rodney had quickly agreed and even felt a bit guilty for giving the man more work than he already had. But on the other hand, he didn't feel _that_ guilty... he really, _really_ wanted this shower.

When the water ran over his body and reached the ground of the shower it was pitch-black and Rodney was momentarily fascinated and disgusted at the same time. At least his ankle really didn't hurt that much. He doubted that he would need a bandage at all. Maybe he could radio Carson and tell him that he didn't have to come after all...

He grabbed the soap and began the tedious work of cleaning himself. To clean his body was fairly easy, but his hair was another thing altogether.

He had already shampooed his hair five times and he could still feel traces of mud when he ran his fingers through it. What was wrong with this mud, anyway?! He scrubbed harder and harder and wished that he had stronger fingers. Like Sheppard.

An image of Sheppard washing his hair flashed through Rodneys mind and he tried his best to _not_ get a nosebleed. Sheppard, naked, with him under his shower... It wasn't the first time that Rodney had imagined something like that, but he had never pictured how it would be if Sheppard would wash his hair. That was almost more erotic than everything else, because it was so much more intimate.

He imagined how Sheppards chest would lay against his and how his strong fingers would massage his scalp. How John would whisper into his ear to lean his head back, so that the shampoo wouldn't get into his eyes.

He was totally lost in his rather vivid daydream when a noise jerked him out of it.

It hadn't been very loud, especially not with the sound of the running water in the background, but Rodney knew it by heart and knew that he shouldn't have heard it.

"What the-"

He had heard the door open and close. Someone had just entered his quarters...

Rodney's heartbeat began to pound in his ears and he couldn't move an inch. Not even when the shampoo began to run down his face, taking with it the last remnants of the mud. He barely noticed it.

His common sense told him that it could only be either Sheppard or Elizabeth, the only Atlanteans who knew the code for his door. But another part of him screamed that something wasn't right.

Despite the hot water that was raining down on him Rodney began to shiver when he finally realized what was wrong.

Elizabeth never entered his quarters without his permission, except it's an emergency or he asked her to. And while Sheppard seemed to love unannounced visits, he always made a racket when he entered, especially when he saw that Rodney was in the bathroom.

But no matter how hard Rodney listened, he couldn't hear anything else. Since the doors had opened it had been quiet except for his own harsh breathing and the running water. He considered to turn it off but his body just wouldn't move.

He didn't understand his panic. It had to be Sheppard. God, it _had_ to be!

Rodney just stood there for a few minutes, his senses going into overdrive, but he didn't hear anything else. He was just about to resume his shower and tell himself that he had just imagined the noise after all, when there was another sound.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

_'Get a grip Rodney! This is not 'Psycho' and you are not Janet Leigh! This is just Sheppard who is playing a bad joke on you!'_

After some more deep breaths he finally had enough courage to call out, "Sheppard? S'that you?"

He didn't have to wait more than a second before there was a loud bang that sounded like scattering glass. Rodney forgot how to breath for a second.

"Ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod...." he whispered in sheer panic when he suddenly realized his predicament.

There was some freak in his quarters and a door was the only thing that separated him from Rodney. From a naked Rodney who was pressed agains the wall.

There was just one coherent thought that he could think of at the moment.

_'I don't want this person to see me naked!'_

He felt exposed, violated in his privacy. But above all he felt vulnerable.

Without a second thought he darted out of the shower, without turning the water off and without acknowledging the pain that shot through his foot at the movement. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist and was just glad that he had locked the bathroom door. Sometimes, paranoia was your friend after all.

Before the scared scientist could decide what he should do next, he heard running footsteps and the unmistakable sound of his doors swishing open and close again.

Then nothing.

Rodney realized that he had never been quite as scared as he had been a few seconds ago. Sure, Wraith were the stuff of nightmares, but at least you could gun them down (or at least try to) and you knew a Wraith when you saw one. This was like walking through an abandonned house and knowing that there was something but not knowing what or where.

Rodney had felt like a kid again, staring at the closet all night and wondering when the monsters were finally coming out to eat him. The uncertainty was scarier than any Wraith could ever be.

Rodney just stared at the bathroom door for a long time, trapped in his own horror, until he began to shiver in the cold air. He was fairly certain that the mysterious person was gone by now and he knew that he couldn't stay in here forever.

Especially because his radio lay on his nightstand. And he really needed to see John now.

He began to put on the T-shirt he had brought with him into the bathroom. He hadn't bothered with pants at the time but now he really wished that he wouldn't have to go out there with only a towel covering his bottom half.

When he felt ready enough to open the door he grabbed his deodorant spray. It was better than nothing.

With the improvised pepper spray in his hand, he reluctantly unlocked the door but listened for a few seconds before he opened it.

He could survey the whole room from where he stood and took his time to reassure himself that he was, indeed, completely alone. Rodney released the breath he had been holding and stepped out of the bathroom, one hand still holding the deodorant, the other holding the towel in place.

He was about to rush to his nightstand, when his eyes fell on the floor besides his desktop.

"Well, at least I know now that I didn't imagine anything."

He bend down to pick up the picture frame that had been standing on his desktop when he had gone to take his shower. Now it lay face down on the floor and when he turned it over, he saw that the glass was cracked in many places, like the whole thing had been thrown against a wall. Rodney stared at the picture for a few seconds with a soft smile on his face. It showed Team Sheppard in front of the Stargate.

Someone from the Daedalus had taken it a few months ago and at first, Rodney hadn't wanted a copy of it. They had posed in front of the Stargate and Rodney hated photos where he had to pose. It awakened too many memories of the family portraits that were taken when his parents had already despised each other. It had always felt awkward and he had never been able to look at them without wanting to throw up afterwards.

So he had suspected that this picture would be just as awkward, but when Sheppard had practically shoved it into his face he had been surprised to see his own smiling face stare back at him. He hadn't even realized that he had smiled. But maybe that was due to Sheppard's arm over his shoulders. Everyone in the picture had a smile on his lips and even though they had posed for it, their postures looked totally natural.

Rodney really liked that picture. The first family portrait he could look at with a smile on his face.

He placed it back on the tabletop and wondered why the intruder would have a grudge against an ordinary picture. But then he noticed something else.

John's jacket, which he had thrown over the desk chair upon entering his quarters, was gone. He stared at the vacant chair for a few seconds. All of a sudden he felt ridiculous and stupid and would have laughed wouldn't he have been furious at the same time.

It had been Sheppard after all.

Sheppard had come back to get his jacket but when Rodney had called out he had dropped the picture. And then he had quickly left in order to evade Rodneys wrath. It made total sense!

Rodney felt too humiliated to realize that it didn't make sense at all, because Sheppard would never do something like that. And he was too relieved to remember Sheppards earlier words.

He downright flew to his nightstand and radioed Sheppard in righteous anger.

"McKay to Sheppard."

_"Sheppard here. Miss me already Rodney?"_

"Listen Sheppard. You wanted your jacket back, fair enough. But you really didn't have to scare the shit out of me, okay? I mean, one little 'It's me' would have done the trick, don't you think?! Oh and you will compensate me for that picture frame you destroyed! It wasn't that expensive but-"

_"Whoa Rodney, hold on!"_ Sheppard interrupted his rant. _"What are you talking about?"_

"Come on Sheppard," Rodney said, a little uneasy now, "I know that you were in my quarters while I took a shower. No need to-" This time he was cut short by a sharp intake of breath and the following silence made him even more queasy than before. "Sheppard?"

It took a few seconds before Sheppards calm, yet somehow urgent voice said, _"Stay where you are Rodney! I'll be there in a minute."_

The line went dead and Rodney felt adrift.

He didn't want to think about how he didn't feel save in his own four walls anymore. He didn't want to think about the amount of fear he had heard in Sheppards voice.

Rodney lowered himself on his bed. His legs didn't seem to support his weight anymore. He absentmindedly thought that Carson would tear him to pieces when he found out that he still hadn't put some ice on his ankle while he stared at the door and his grip on the deodorant tightened.

Every minute now, Sheppard would walk through that door and tell him that everything had been just a big joke. He would laugh about the way Rodneys hand were shaking and how pale his face was. And he would invite him to a cup of coffee to make up for it. _'Yes'_, Rodney thought,_ 'every minute now...'_

But he knew it was futile.

* * *

When John bursted into Rodneys quarters his eyes trained immediately on the scientist; sitting on his bed, eyes focused on the ground.

Rodney was still wet from his shower and the T-shirt was pasted against his chest. John swallowed hard when he saw that Rodney was just wearing a towel to conceal his bottom half and was amazed at how much the view pleased him.

He also noticed the deodorant and he felt proud of the man in front of him. _'Good idea Rodney.'_

But he didn't like the way Rodney hadn't looked up yet and when he did he had expected to see fear and not irritation.

"What is going on Sheppard?"

"Why don't you tell me exactly what happened here?"

And Rodney did. He told him about the noises he had heard and about the broken picture frame and about the missing jacket in every detail.

When he finished, Sheppard had clenched his fists so tight that they began to hurt. He wanted to break something. Preferably the neck of one secret admirer. The pervert had been here. Again. While Rodney had taken a shower. God knows what could have happened!

John was furious with himself. He should have seen this coming. He had sworn to protect Rodney, but when Rodney had needed him, he had been chatting with Elizabeth.

He didn't want to imagine what could have happened to his Rodney if this bugger would have been just a little bit more reckless, a little bit more desperate to finally gain Rodneys attention. And he didn't want to imagine how anxious Rodney must have been when he had realized that there was someone else in his room.

What he did want was to hug the shivering scientist. But he didn't. Rodney was shaken up enough and he needed to stay in control right now. John knew as much.

"What do you think? Who was it? And why would this person steal _your_ jacket?"

John had a pretty good idea about the last question but ignored it for now. "I think we both know _who_ it was."

Rodney stared at him with a blank expression, before recognition entered his eyes and he began to look slightly green. "You don't really think that, do you?!"

"I do!" John growled but couldn't say more because his radio chirped and a very worried Elizabeth asked, _"Weir to Sheppard. Is everything alright John?"_

He hadn't stopped long enough to explain the situation when Rodney had radioed him. She had to feel like a cat on a hot tin roof.

"Not quite. Someone broke into Rodneys quarters while he took a shower and I think we both know who it was."

_"Scientist's Lover."_ she all but breathed.

"Yeah, he did it again!"

_"That's bad."_ Elizabeth observed simply, but the amount of shock in her voice told John that she just couldn't say much more right now.

Before he could answer her, a quiet but deadly voice stopped him cold.

"Again?"

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Oh John, you are in a world of trouble now! You want to know just how much trouble? Then I guess you'll have to review like mad again cause reviews will make me update faster... LOL I hope the suspense in Rodneys quarters got to you, I tried to make it as creepy as possible...

**Attention guys**: Many things will happen in a short amount of time from here on. So if things might seem a bit rushed in the next couple of chapters, balme it on the freaky nutcase I created. He is so eager to finally meet Rodney that he threatens to send 'me' some Extolias if I don't hurry... *shiver* John save me...ehh I mean, us!!!

_(btw, I thought it was necessary to point out that Rodney doesn't have a gun in the first A/N, because otherwise, it would be stupid to cling to a deo when you could have a loaded gun, right?)_


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** Not mine

**Warnings:** a little bit bad and occasionally vulgar language!!!!

A/N: So I know from your reviews that many of you are exited about angry/Rodney in this one and there IS angry/Rodney but there is also a very very depressed/ and down/Rodney so he may seem a bit OOC in this situation and I hate to think that my Rodney gets too OOC (something I'm afraid is steadily happening) but I had to take the risk, for reasons you will hopefully understand in later chapters! But because of this I can't decide if I really like this chapter...or really don't! Do I take too much liberties with the characters or is this just my insecure self that's raising its ugly head?

Please remember that your opinions and tips can make this fic only better! So please keep reviewing because I'm getting addicted!^^

* * *

_-Previously on "Ship of Fools"-_

_"Yeah, he did it again!"_

_"That's bad." Elizabeth observed simply, but the amount of shock in her voice told John that she just couldn't say more right now._

_Before he could answer a quiet but deadly voice from behind him, stopped him cold. _

_"Again?"_

* * *

13. A step forward...

Rodney regarded Sheppard with the most steely glance he could muster.

"What do you mean, _'he did it again'_?"

Rodney knew, wouldn't Sheppard be such a professional when it came to deceiving his emotions, he would see the pure horror in John's eyes and not just sense it like a third presence in the room.

"John?" he warned. Sheppard knew better than to ignore_ that_ tone.

"Well you see Rodney...when you were in the infirmary, with your concussion, remember? By the way, shouldn't you be more careful with your ankle? Carson will throw a fit..."

Rodney bit on his tongue to stop the sarcastic remark that lay on his lips. He wouldn't let Sheppard distract him. Not this time. So Rodney just stared... and Sheppard's face fell.

"Yeah anyway...when I opened the door to show Elizabeth the letter, your secret admirer had already left a little something...in your quarters, that is..." He trailed off and seemed actually uncertain of himself. Something Rodney had never seen before.

But he didn't marvel at the sight. Some of the panic that he had felt earlier returned with a vengence and it brought some guests; anger and disappointment and something else that he couldn't quite describe.

Someone had been in here. In his private quarters. _Twice_. And Elizabeth and Sheppard had known about the first time and...

"And you didn't tell me."

He was surprised and confused at the hint of malice in his eerily calm voice. Normally he would have screamed by now and insulted Sheppard and his whole family tree but that other mysterious feeling in his chest seemed to restrain him. Like it was something that couldn't and shouldn't be expressed by something as ordinary as yelling.

Sheppard seemed to be just as confused as Rodney, and the scientist could see that the Colonel didn't know how to handle this unexpected reaction.

"To protect you!" he blurted, "We didn't want you to worry about it! We didn't..."

Finally Rodney exploded. How could John dare to take him for a fool! He wasn't a fool! He was a fucking genius, for heaven's sake!

"You mean you didn't want me to see the mission to P3X-975 for what it really was!" he exploded. "The means to get me away from Atlantis so that Elizabeth could stick her nose into this. Behind my back. Without my permission! Is this some kind of game for you? _'Let's see who can lure Dr. Rodney McKay to another planet. The winner get's to rub it in his face.'_ Was that it?"

Rodney felt himself shake with fury. He had actually believed that John had taken him on this mission because he wanted him to. Because they were friends and because they were a team. He had thought that it didn't matter that there had been no reason at all for him to accompany them as long as they went as a team. And now he had to discover that this whole _'Either everyone goes, or no one'_ talk was just a load of crap.

"Come on Rodney, you know that's not true!"

Sheppard looked like he was in physical pain, but Rodney couldn't care less.

"I should have known that Elizabeth would rather side with the cocky airforce pilot than with me! And I knew your explanation for the new code was too fishy to be true, even for you!"

"You knew?"

"Pfft! Of course I knew. Genius here!

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I _trusted_ you!"

Rodney knew that he was hitting low with that one when he saw how Sheppard flinched. But it was the truth. He had immediately known that something was off about the new code for his quarters but he had trusted Sheppard. Trusted John to tell him if it was something serious.

Something dangerous.

God, Rodney would have done everything to make his quarters safe again. He would have updated the safety protocols, maybe even invent some kind of alarm system. He would have done all that if he had know that some crazed lunatic could enter his private premises whenever he wanted.

But John had left him in the dark. He had refused Rodney the chance to protect himself.

Part of Rodney believed John that he'd only wanted to protect him. But another part of him, a much louder part at the moment, suspected that John just wanted to prove him that he was right about Connolly. That he wanted to catch Connolly red-handed...

Rodney's eyes widened in realization.

So that had been the reason for Sheppards unusual behaviour in the Gate Room. John had deliberately flirted with him (the tight grip, the husky voice) because Connolly had been there. John had tried to provoke Connolly. That didn't quite explain John's behaviour during the mission, but Rodney was inclined to accept that he'd imagined all those little touches and looks after all.

And finally he recognized the emotion he was feeling ever since he'd realized that Sheppard had lied to him: Shame.

He felt so ashamed and ridiculous and humiliated for ever believing that maybe, _just maybe_, John Sheppard felt more for him than mere friendship. He should have expected this but it hurt nonetheless when the tiny flame of hope that had begun to sparkle in his chest during the last three days, burned to ashes in a matter of seconds.

"Look Rodney, I'm sorry! I would have told you if I had known that this creep would go this far."

"I'm sure you would have." Rodneys vioce was void of any emotion. He knew that he should yell and scream, that Sheppard even expected it. But he felt oddly tired and resigned so he didn't say anything else.

A simple apology wouldn't fix this and by the look of it, Sheppard already knew it.

The uncomfortable silence that settled between the two of them was only broken by Carsons arrival.

* * *

John Sheppard hadn't felt as hollow as he felt right now for a very long time.

He'd screwed up. Hard.

Rodney obviously didn't trust him anymore. That was what Rodney must have felt after Doranda. Helplessness and self-hatred. To lose the trust of someone you love and admirer was in some ways even more painful that loosing the man himself.

Admittetly, John hadn't really lost trust in Rodneys abilities. It had been rage and fear that had caused him to say those awful things. And the two of them hadn't been able to stay away from each other for too long. They never could.

But somehow John couldn't help but think that Rodney wasn't just mad about his and Elizabeths lie. There was something else.

While Rodney was sitting on his bed, Carson knelt in in front of him, bandaging the sprained ankle with gentle fingers. The two of them bickered like they always did when Rodney was injured and cranky and Carson tired and exasperated. But while Rodney acted normal around Carson, he hadn't spoken a single word to Sheppard. John knew that Carson was aware of the tense silence between the two friends but pretended like he didn't notice.

John could handle the silent treatment for a while, but the fact that Rodney wouldn't even meet his eyes unnerved him.

If he didn't know better, he'd say that Rodney acted like he was ashamed of something. But that was ridiculous! Why would Rodney be ashamed? The scientist hadn't done anything wrong.

John had screwed up. He had decided that they shouldn't tell Rodney about the incident and he hadn't been able to prevent this creep from coming near Rodney again.

John felt the knot in his stomache tighten when Rodney seemed to finally lift his eyes, just to lower them immediately again. Something was definitely wrong.

He had expected Rodney to rant and rave and to insult him. But other than his very brief outburst there had been nothing. John found that even scarier than than any angry outburst could have been. He almost wished that Rodney would yell or throw things at him. Everything was better than this dejected mood that apparently tried to suffocate him.

But maybe he just felt so utterly terrible because he had managed to hurt Rodney and to loose his trust.

"Here we go." Carson said and patted the freshly bandaged foot, which elicted a hiss from his patient. "Remember that you have to be careful for the next few days. But I don't think that you will be in too much pain if you don't walk too much for the next few days."

"And how should I do that? I have a city to run." Rodney muttered testily while he hobbled across the room to test how much he could lean on the damaged foot. When Carson had arrived, Rodney had disappeared into the bathroom to put on a pair of trousers. Much to John's chagrin.

"Or," Carson drawled while he collected his stuff, "I could confine you to your quarters for a week. Your choice."

Rodney glared at Carsons back like he tried to figure out if the doctor was serious and John only wished that Rodney would glare at him like that. Which was totally crazy in so many ways...

"Fine! I'll be careful!"

Carson smiled. "Good boy!"

"What am I? A dog?"

"Well, I always had my suspicions, regarding your lineage..."

_"Major Lorne to Colonel Sheppard."_

John visibly jumped when Lorne's voice floated through his radio and interrupted Rodneys and Carson's banter. Carson smiled teasingly but Rodney didn't even make a comment. _Just wrong!_

"What is it, Lorne?"´

_"Uhm sir, you should come to the east pier. There is something you need to see."_

John was s_o_ not in the mood for cryptic messages right now.

"What is it?" he snapped and this time Rodney regarded him with an raised eyebrow. _'Well, it's a start.'_

_"Some marines discovered a fire on one of the balconies near the east pier. Don't worry, we already put it out. It was small." he added quickly._

"What was it?" Sheppard asked, ignoring the surge of dread he was experiencing.

_"It's hard to say sir. There's almost nothing left but if I had to guess, I would say it's some part of the uniform...maybe the jacket..."_

"Don't touch anything! I'm on my way!" Sheppard interrupted him and rushed to the door.

Where Rodney was already waiting for him. "Is it...?" he trailed off but his eyes were on fire.

John was about to say 'No' but the answer got stuck in his throat. When he wanted to regain Rodneys trust he had to be honest with him.

So he just nodded and said "Come with me." and Rodneys eyes seemed to softened a bit when he followed him.

Both of them didn't notice the very confused Carson Beckett they left behind.

"What was that?"

_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--_--

During their walk through Atlantis, Rodneys limp had gotten more and more noticable. From time to time John would try to take his hand and support him but Rodney would refuse his help everytime. John accepted that but it was harder than he thought and he wondered what he could do to make things right again.

They smelt it before they saw it.

The unmistakable smell of burning fabric and plastic. John suspected that it wasn't as bad as it would have been in an enclosed room, but it was enough.

When they stepped out onto the balcony they were grazed with the view of a small crowd of scientists and marines who had gathered around a little black..._ something_ on the ground.

Major Lorned tried to be firm and send them away but when he saw Sheppard and McKay he gave up and ran towards them. The gawpers shot each other suspicious looks when they saw Rodney.

"Colonel Sheppard! Dr. McKay!" Lorne greeted them. "I'm sorry but they just won't go away."

"It's okay." Sheppard said distractedly while his eyes focused on the card in Lornes hands. "Are you sure that it's part of a uniform?"

"Yes sir. It's quite damaged but you can still see it."

"And this is the note?" he asked and nodded towards the piece of paper in Lornes hand.

Lorne looked uncomfortable and shifted from one foot to another while he handed Sheppard the card. "Yes sir. It was found besides the fire. I'm afraid some of the others read it before I got here."

But John didn't listen anymore. He was totally captivated by the words that he was reading.

______________________________________________________

_'This is my first and last warning Sheppard; STAY AWAY FROM HIM!'_

____________________________________________________

Surprisingly enough, the first thing that leapt out at Sheppard was the totally different handwriting. The letters were scrawled and irregular. The person who'd written this had been in a hurry. And he had been angry.

Rodney who had read the note over John's shoulder took a deep breath and left without another word.

"Rodney!" John called, but the scientist wouldn't stop so he turned to Lorne. "Make sure that someone takes care of this mess and then report to Dr. Weir. Tell her that I'll debrief her as soon as I can." he ordered and followed Rodney without waiting for an answer.

John found him in the next corridor, leaning against the wall and favoring his acing ankle.

"Rodney..." John started but was cut off by a furious whisper.

"Seems like your plan worked quite well, huh?!"

John blinked a few times. What was Rodney talking about?

"Plan? What plan are you talking about Rodney?"

Rodney finally looked up and there it was again. The same hopeful and uncertain expression that he had shown John in the forest just a few hours ago. But it was quickly replaced by resignation.

"Nothing. Forget it." He slid to the ground and John hestitated only a second before he sat down besides him. But not close enough to touch.

Rodney seemed to need some time to regain his composure and John let him. He was quite shaken himself.

"What's wrong with this 'Scientist's Lover anyway?!" Rodney huffed after a few minutes. "I mean, who would _want_ _me_ anyway?"

_'I would!'_ Sheppards mind screamed at him but he didn't say anything. Rodney wouldn't believe it anyway.

So they just sat there, side by side, both of them thinking their own gloomy thoughts.

* * *

A/N Yeah, rather short, I know, but I had to end it here! The next one will be just as short but with a surprise... *music of doom*

But hey, watch out for my little Valentine's One-Shot I'll post tomorrow!!! I'd really appreaciate it if you could check it out and leave some reviews...well, **after** you reviewed on this one, of course!!! LOL

***does the review dance***


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** None mine

**A/N:** Okay, this chapter is like... the cousin that you don't like but have to invite to your birthday party because otherwise the family wouldn't be complete, you understand?! -.-"

But for a chapter that I really disliked writing I think it came out quite nicely...hey it could be worse...much worse!

Part of the problem was that I was mentally already with the next few chapters (the final chapters to be exact) while I wrote this one. Although it is really short, it took me almost more time to write than some of the longer ones because I was always like _'Oh, that's a good scene for the last chapter, I need to write that down, before I forget it!'_.... well I'm glad that this is over and done with! Now there will be the "fun" chapters to write! **_muahahahaha_**

* * *

14. How Rodney McKay and John Sheppard faced a predator

Atlantis wasn't so much a city as it was a large town. Everyone knew everyone and like in every large town where everyone knew everyone, rumors spreaded fast. Sickenly fast.

It hadn't taken more than one day before everyone knew about the incident with the burning jacket and the contents of the attached message. And sometimes it was a curse that half of the staff consisted of rather smart scientists because they had combined the facts astonishing fast.

Rodney's needless presence at the scene, the message and the fact that it had been Sheppards jacket that had been used for a surrogate campfire. And of course the 'almost' forgotten flowers which Rodney had found just a few days ago in the lab. In font of witnesses.

Later on John would, albeit grudgingly, admit that it didn't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots.

As a result, whispers filled Atlantis' hallways until John or Rodney would come around. Then it would be eerily silent.

And the fact that Rodney evaded John and wouldn't even sit with him in the mess hall didn't help things at all. Everyone was used to their bickering over lunch or John's constant presence in the labs until Rodney cracked and either, kicked him out or misused him as his personal assistent. This silence and tension between the two friends fueled the speculations even more. Some of them were quite approximate to the truth, but some were just outright ridiculous.

For example, the story that Rodney had some kind of liaison with Dr. Weir and that she didn't like John's and Rodney's closeness. And because she couldn't just fire John without alarming the SGC, she planned to bully him until he would leave Atlantis voluntarily.

When Elizabeth had heard this particular rumor she hadn't known if she should be angry or amused.

Rodney however, acted like he didn't even notice the looks and whispers. But those who really knew him, noticed that he was more grumpy and more unrelenting than usually.

Rodney also acted like he didn't notice the shadow, namely Sheppard, that seemed to follow him everywhere he went. Oh, John didn't hang out in the labs to peek over Rodney's shoulder anymore and they didn't meet for lunch anymore, but the Colonel was always nearby.

Sometimes Rodney would swear that he saw a mop of black, unruly hair out of the corner of his eye but when he turned to take a closer look, it was already gone. It drove him crazy but he was also oddly relieved when he knew that Sheppard was close.

But it wasn't always John who would watch over Rodney. Sometimes Ronon or Teyla would take his place. But unlike Sheppard, they didn't try to conceil their presence. Especially Ronon would just take a seat in a corner of the lab and stay there until his relief arrived.

Rodney tried his best to ignore his 'babysitters' and the knot in his stomache that only seemed to disappear when he sensed that Sheppard'd returned to watch over him.

Sheppard meanwhile was deliberately staying away from Rodney and stayed in the shadows while he watched the scientist work or eat. He knew that Rodney wouldn't send him away but that he wouldn't act like he usually did around him either and John didn't know if he could bring himself to face that just yet.

He felt like the process that they had made in the last few days hadn't happened at all. Worse even, he felt like their 'relationship' had taken a step back instead. It was frustrating to say the least.

John Sheppard didn't consider himself to be a weak man but he felt drained and defeated. He had known that it would be hard to regain Rodney's trust but he hadn't expected this complete lack of communication. It had been two days since the rather ugly scene in his quarters and Rodney was still not acting any different around John.

Although John was mostly patient, there had been one weak moment where he had felt incredible anger and the urge to strangle Rodney. How could one man be so damn stubborn? Why couldn't that obnoxious, arrogant, petty and egoistic bastard just forgive him?

One evening he had lost control in front of Teyla and ranted about the unforgiving scientist for more than half an hour. It hadn't been the first time though.

John only went to Heightmeyer when he had to and he never told her anything of importance. When he really wanted to blow off some steam he went usually to Teyla, although only when the situation was really dire and an extra training session hadn't fixed things.

Although Dr. Heightmeyer was obligated to the doctor-patient confidentiality he trusted Teyla much more to keep his secrets...well, secret. She saw more than she let on and she had always a good advice on her lips. Teyla was his friend and therapist and they both knew it although none of them ever said it.

She had listened to Sheppards moaning and groaning about a certain scientist until he had been as red as a beet and mighty embarrassed. Teyla was the only one who would ever see an outburst like this. He would make sure of that.

Telya meanwhile had listened and marvelled how Sheppard could be so observing but at the same time so clueless.

She could understand Rodney's reaction perfectly well. John wasn't the only one who came to her for advice, although this other person had needed much more time to even remotely open up to her.

And that was the point.

"Rodney doesn't trust easily."

She hadn't said more, because she hadn't needed to. The look on John's face had told her that he'd understood, so she'd left him alone with his thoughts.

And John really did know that Teyla was right. Hell, she _always_ was.

To gain Rodney's trust in the first place had been a pain in the butt, but to regain it would be like trying to coax him into the lion's den. Nearly impossible.

Sheppard had groaned miserably at the picture but his anger had disappeared and in its wake there had been only pure determination.

John Sheppard didn't consider himself a weak man and he wouldn't start now.

It was time to face the predator.

* * *

Rodney was alone in his lab, hunched over his laptop and typing furiously in righteous anger. It was already late and the room was only lit by the light of the monitor. The report he was writing had been originally Radeks task but the Czech had catched some kind of intergalactic bug and was resting in the infirmary right now. Lazy bugger. Rodney would never stop working just because of a running nose. Oh he would act like he was dying and annoy the crap out of Carson... but he would never stop working.

Rodney sighed heavily and rubbed his tired eyes. He was so exhausted. He just wanted to finish this and go to bed.

Rodney was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the person that was watching him from the doorway. Rodney also didn't notice how the person came closer until it stood right behind him.

In fact, he didn't notice the person until it spoke right next to his ear.

"What are you doing, Rodney?"

Rodney jumped, turned around and placed a hand over his racing heart.

"What are you trying to do here? Give me an heart attack?"

John Sheppard met his glare with a cheeky grin. "Nah, just testing your reflexes. Which are still too slow, by the way."

"They are just fine! Not everyone can be a model G. I. Joe."

"G. I. Joe?" Sheppard asked. "You compare me to G. I. Joe?" Before Rodney could answer, Sheppard broke into another blending smile. "Well, thank you Rodney. I actually really liked Joe."

Rodney just glared at him some more before he returned to his work. "Who was talking about you? You're no Joe. You're... I don't know... _'Ken_'!"

"_Ken?"_ Sheppard spluttered in mock outrage. "I don't know if I should be more shocked by the fact that you know who 'Ken' is, or that you're comparing me to him."

Rodney had a smug smile on his face, although John couldn't see it. "First of all, Jeannie played with them and secondly... well you know, if the shoe fits..."

"Oh yeah? And you are what? My Barbie?"

And that was when it hit Rodney.

Well, first he thought something like _'I wish.'_ (which he would deny until his death bed and beyond, because... seriously, _Barbie_?) before everything finally sunk in.

They were actually bickering. Like they always did. So naturally that he didn't even remember that he was technically still not speaking with Sheppard... aside from the fact that he did.

Rodney immediately tensed up and clenched his teeth, but not because he regretted this little slip but because...Christ, he had _missed_ this!

He had missed these mindless conversations that could start with an innocent _'What are you doing?_' and end just minutes later with _'And you are what? My Barbie?'_. He'd missed their friendly and childish insults. This odd peacefulness he could experience with no one else.

And if he was honest with himself, he wasn't that angry anymore. At least not with John.

Rodney was angry with himself because his false expectations had gotten in the way of their friendship. And because he couldn't overcome his damn pride and just forgive Sheppard for what he'd done. He was mad at himself for each time that he had contemplated speaking with Sheppard and then decided against it because he hadn't wanted to be the one to make the first step. And now that Sheppard had taken that first step he didn't really know what to do next. Just act like nothing happened? Rub Sheppard's nose in 'it' until he got tired of it? Just keep on ignoring him?

No, he could do nothing of that because, no matter how much he tried to deny it, something _had_ changed, something that you couldn't rub in. And he definitely couldn't ignore Sheppard anymore. He had tried that and now that the spell was broken he knew that he wouldn't be able to do that again.

And hadn't they already cleared things with their little talk? Weren't they okay again, or was Rodney supposed to say something cheesy like _'I'll forgive you.'_?

_'God,'_ Rodney thought, _'when have things become so complicated between us?'_

The silence became uncomfortable and Rodney was more than relieved when Sheppard finally broke it.

"Sooo... got any nice flowers recently?"

Or maybe not.

But Rodney had to give it to Sheppard. He sounded almost like he didn't care about the answer. Almost.

"No, but you already know that, don't you?" He didn't add _'Because you and the others were watching me 24/7.'_ but his dark scrowl spoke more than thousand words. Maybe he wasn't mad at Sheppard anymore, but they really had to sort out that trust issue that seemed to be a constant sore subject between the two of them.

But after the incident on the east pier there had been no more flowers or little messages anymore. But that didn't mean that Sheppard and the others had scared this lunatic away with their constant hovering. At least Rodney didn't think so.

"I guess he finally realized that I'm not worth the trouble."

Rodney winched at his own words. Oh man, since when did he sound so damn pathetic?

_'Since you realized that you would never get the one you truly want.'_ a familiar voice echoed in his head.

Before he could wallow in self-pity, he was grabbed by the arms and spun around, only to face a really pissed of Sheppard.

"W-What?" Rodney stuttered in surprise, "What did I do now?"

The hands on his arms tightened and the Colonel pulled him even closer, until their noses almost touched.

"Don't you_ ever_ say that again!"

Rodney could tell that Sheppard had to restrain himself from yelling. "Wha-"?

"Don't you _ever_," Sheppard cut him off with a little shake. "Don't you ever say again that you are not worth it! You are worth all the trouble in this whole goddamn galaxy!"

Maybe he'd had false expectations, but Sheppard really wasn't going easy on him, was he? What's with the touching and telling Rodney all those nice and encouraging things, while he was_ still_ holding him really close?

_'Even a straight guy would get ideas by now!'_ Rodney thought and didn't notice how he had relaxed into Sheppards grip and how John's face had softened into a sad and hestitant expression.

"Rodney listen, I..."

All of a sudden he jumped and pulled away and just like that the spell was broken.

He tapped his radio with a rueful and maybe even annoyed expression on his face. "Sheppard here."

Rodney found that he looked like a man that got interrupted while doing something really important and he wondered what John had wanted to tell him.

Not that Rodney thought that he could handle any more confusing behaviour from the Colonel. His heart was still racing and he tried to surpress the happy flutter in his stomache. He wouldn't go there. Not again! He had learned from his mistakes...

"Okay I'll be there." Sheppard said and Rodney realized that he had missed the whole exchange.

"Something wrong?" he asked and Sheppard just shrugged.

"Seemed like they need me in the mess hall. Some kind of quarrel between two soldiers."

"Hmmm." Rodney didn't really understand why Sheppard needed to be there but he didn't question the procedure of those goons. But then he saw how Sheppard seemed to hestitate and he felt the familiar surge of annoyance.

"Oh for the love of-! Go already! I promise that I won't go with strangers, even if they tell me that they have a cute puppy in their quarters."

Sheppard looked like he was surprised for a moment but nodded nonetheless. Rodney knew exactly what had gone through his head. Teyla was visiting the mainland for the night and Ronon had accompanied her. That meant that Rodney would be without a watchdog while Sheppard was gone and although there had been no gifts recently, the Colonel still seemed uncomfortable with an unwatched Rodney. Which was ridiculous really! Rodney was a grown man after all.

"And you won't go with them for coffee either, will you Rodney?" Sheppard asked in mock seriousness.

"You know I can't promise that Colonel." Rodney replied, but the smile on his lips and the almost unnoticable nod of his head belied his words.

Sheppard smiled back (_oh he had missed that smile too_) and left.

While Rodney turned his back to the door and resumed his typing his thoughts were still on that smile. It had been easy and unforced... and just reassuring.

Yeah, maybe he could do this after all. Surpress his feelings and just be Johns best friend. Those smiles, his real smiles, would be enough for Rodney. If that was all that he could hope for, they would be enough...had to be enough.

A shuffle from behind him jerked the Canadian out of his thoughts and he huffed in exasperation.

"Did you forget something or do you think that I cannot withstand the temptation of coffee after all?"

When he got no answer he began to turn around. "I asked you something Colo-"

He trailed off, partly because he couldn't seem to remember how to breath anymore and partly because it wasn't Sheppard who was standing in the doorway. Oh no, the guy with the bunch of flowers in the one hand and a knife in the other was _definitely_ not Sheppard...

"Connolly?"

* * *

A/N Wohooo! Yeah I consider an evil cliffhanger a surprise (points to previous chapter's A/N)! XD Well Rodney is in deep shit now...or is he? Hmmmm... Don't worry, the next one won't be the last chapter...far from it! *evil laughter*

Review, cause reviews make me update faster! XD


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** I acutally had to cut this chapter in half, so it's part 1 and 2, 'kay?!

WoW your reviews really made me doubt if I should go through with my last, major and **totally evil** plot-twist... but I guess you just have to suffer through it! After all, I planned this from the very beginning... Don't worry (I hope) it'll be woth it!^^

**And double WoW**: 11 reviews! New record! You're to good to me! _*throws confetti*_ Evil cliffhangers seem to do the trick... good thing that there will be one almost every chapter from now on! ***EvilLOL***

* * *

15. Don't count your scientists before they're hatched _(Part 1)_

Lt. James Connolly looked like he had gone through hell and back. His hair was sticking out at odd angles and looked like it hadn't seen any water for a couple of days. His bloodshot eyes darted from one end of the room to another and his lips were pressed into a thin, angry line. His uniform looked ragged and was actually incomplete. Rodney would have laughed about the missing shoe hadn't he been so utterly terrified.

The man that was standing in front of him almost beared no resemblance whatsoever to the man he had met in the Jumper Bay. Well, now he at least looked like the mental case he apparently was. Rodney found that oddly comforting.

Less comforting was the shaking knife in Connollys hand or his stiff posture.

If there had ever been a man that looked desperate and like he had nothing to loose, it was the man standing in front of Rodney. And that was _so_ not a good thing right now.

Rodney was rooted to the spot. Wide, terrified eyes following Connollys every movement.

A totally inappropriate (and apparently insane) part of him thought that it was rather funny how it always seemed to be him who had to deal with the maniacs with a gusto for shiny, sharp objects. For a brief moment Koyla's face replaced Connolly's and Rodney fought the urge to scratch at the old scar on his arm.

Where was Sheppard when you needed him? Sheppard would crack some snarky remark about the weather or something. But he wasn't here and Rodney found it rather ironic that he had been the one who had sent the Colonel away to decide a dispute over the last muffin, for all Rodney knew.

Rodney wondered if the situation would loose any of its horror, if he would act a little bit like Sheppard. Maybe some smart-ass comment like _'You know pal, this really won't look good in your record'._

But that would be suicide wouldn't it? But maybe it would distract Connolly long enough so Rodney could reach his radio. The radio that was lying way over there on the table, totally out of reach and therefore totally useless...

All thoughts of a plan vanished immediately when Connolly took a menaching step forward. "We really need to talk Dr. McKay."

The light from the screen reflected in Connollys eyes. The sight gave Rodney the creeps.

"Y-Yeah talk...sounds great. I like talking. Let's talk!" he babbeled, while Ronon's voice echoed in his head: _'Don't show them that you're afraid.'_

_'Pfft sure,'_ Rodney thought, while his eyes flickered towards the (still totally useless) radio. _'That sounds so much easier when you are standing in the gym and not in front of a maniac with a friggin' huge knife!'_

"We can talk." he uttered again and took a hestitant step towards the radio. "Let me just call Colonel Sheppard. He almost likes talking as much as I do..." It was a long shot, but maybe the Lieutnant was so out of it that he would buy it.

"NO!" said Lieutnant bellowed and Rodney cringed at the outburst.

Okay, so maybe not.

"You need to understand!" Connolly pleaded and Rodney was momentarily taken aback by the change of mood. "I don't want to hurt you. I just need you to understand!"

Rodney found that statement mighty ridiculous and before he could stop himself his temper got the better of him. "Oh I understand! I understand that, while I'm doing Zelenkas damn job, I get ambushed by some overworked goon, who tells me that he doesn't want to hurt me, but is pointing a freaking knife at me! Believe me Lieutnant, I understand perfectly well!"

_'Suicide_' the rational part of his mind screamed. _'You can't die like this! You're too smart to die like this so shut up already!'_

But Rodney was beyond caring. After the initial shock and fear had worn off, he only felt angry. This was the man that had turned these last few days into an emotional rollercoaster for Rodney. And he was the reason why Rodney and John hadn't talked with each other for the past two days.

Connollys face contorted into a grimace and he indicated the weapon in his hand before he yelled "This is just so you would listen to me! And we need to talk about this!" he continued and threw the flowers in front of Rodneys feet whose ears were ringing.

Why the hell hadn't someone heard the madman yet? When Rodney had one of his fits, all of Atlantis seemed to listen. Where were they now?

Connolly began to pace in front of the door. He was sweating profoundly, like the screaming had physically exhausted him. "This is all so fucked up..." he whined and scrubbed his face with the free hand.

"Yeah tell me about it." Rodney muttered and took another tentative step towards the radio.

But he froze immediately when Connollys wide eyes returned to him. "It's not what you think it is!"

"I-I'm sure it isn't..." Rodney may be rather oblivious at certain times, but even he could see that the situation was slowly spinning out of control. Connollys eyes were glazed and he took more and more steps in the direction of Rodney, who took equal steps back until his back was pressed against the wall. _'Nice move Rodney.'_

When he saw the manic grin on Connollys face, Rodney just knew that his "talking-a-mile-a-minute-skills" wouldn't get him out of this. He doubted if the Lieutnant would even hear him.

Speaking of Connolly...the man was awfully close and Rodney's anger was replaced once more with feral fear. But who would blame him? It was hard to stay angry if you were trapped between a rock and a hard place and when the rock held a knife in its shaking hands.

Yeah, the knife was definitely his biggest problem right now.

"You need to believe me!" Connolly gasped out and for the first time Rodney could smell the alcohol in his breath. He closed his eyes and wished, not for the first time, that Sheppard would be here. Rodney vowed that he would never _ever_ insult his hair again if he would just safe his ass one more time.

"I need you to understand that I didn't..." Rodney would never know what Connolly had wanted to say next, because a nasty bang interrupted him and all of a sudden the smell of alcohol and bad teeth was gone, replaced by the stench of gunpulver and something metallic.

Rodney knew that smell, although he often wished that he didn't and he had to force himself to open his eyes.

The previously menacing man was lying dead to his feet, with a gaping hole in his temple. Rodney fought the reflex to gag and brought as much space as he could between himself and Conno- _no_, between himself and the corpse. He had always found it easier to avoid using the names of the dead, especially if their death was somehow his fault. Sheppard would smack him across the head for such a thought. He dropped into a chair at the far end of the lab and took his head between his knees. It took a while before the nausea was subsiding and before he even felt the hand that was rubbing soothing circles on his back. For one little second, Rodney thought that he would really miss it to insult Sheppards hair, before he raised his head and discovered that not John, but a total stranger had comforted him for some minutes now.

Rodney immediately straightened to maintain some kind of dignity and searched the room for a familiar face, while he avoided to look at the corpse. No Sheppard.

Huh... Well at least he wouldn't have to give up on one of his favorite activities...

"Are you alright Dr. McKay?" his savior asked and brought Rodney back down to earth.

The man didn't even look remotely like Sheppard. He had bright blond hair and blue eyes and seemed to be taller and broader than the Colonel.

"What a stupid question is that?" Rodney asked but without heat and he added a quiet "Yes, thank you."

To be honest, he was a little bit flustered that this Marine had witnessed his little breakdown. But who could blame him? Rodney actually thought that he had managed quite well. Nonetheless, all he could think of was that he wanted Sheppard to be here and not this stranger. But he would rather die before asking the man to call John and sounding like a little kid that missed his favorite toy.

Surprisingly enough, the Marine that had just shot one of his colleagues, seemed to read his mind because he immediately activated his radio. "Lieutnant Jackson to Colonel Sheppard."

Rodney tried to hide the relieved smile that crossed his face while Jackson explained to Sheppard what had happened. But he couldn't stop his posture to relax considerably when Jackson told him that Sheppard would be here as soon as possible.

Rodney just realized that, yes, it was over! No more creeping letters or flowers. He wouldn't need to enter his quarters with a wary eye anymore. This unpleasant episode was over and done with.

Sheppard would probably never let him hear the end of it because he had been right to suspect Connolly, but Rodney could life with that.

_'Yeah,_' he thought minutes later when Sheppard dashed into the room, breathed a relieved "Geez, Rodney!" and pulled him into a tight hug , _'can definitely live with that.'_

* * *

Half an hour later, Connollys body was gone and so were the bunch of Marines that Sheppard had brought with him. When one of them had bumped into his delicate equipment, Rodney had been about to kick them out but one of them had brought him a fresh cup of coffee then and he had put mercy before justice.

He sat in his chair with the cup of coffee between hands, that at least weren't shaking anymore. His savior, _'Lt. Jackson'_ Rodney reminded himself, stood slightly behind him, as if on watch.

_'Probably Sheppards orders'_ Rodney thought sourly and wondered why this Jackson looked so familiar.

And apropos Sheppard....

"How are you feeling Rodney?" A hand appeared on his shoulder and a concerned Colonel in his field of vision. Rodney fought the urge to groan.

Any other time he would have absorbed the attention and touch like a sponge, but it was hard to appreciate the Colonels concern when said Colonel was asking you the same question every five minutes.

"Oh, I'm just peachy Colonel! I get attacked by some deranged nutcase all the time. I kinda get used to it." And the fact that that was actually true totally killed the attempted sarcasm. Oh yeah, he was leading a fine life, wasn't he?

The hand didn't leave his shoulder, but squeezed reassuringly. Before Sheppard could say something else a timid voice peeped up.

"I am truly sorry Dr. McKay."

They turned around to see Jackson wringing his hands and staring at the floor. Rodney frowned at the guilty posture.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked and tried not to sound too intimidating. This guy had just shot someone to save him. Least he could do.

Aside from the fact that it didn't seem to work because the Lieutnant looked even more awkward. Sheppard intervened. "What do you know Lt. Jackson."

"Please call me Jack. Everybody does."

Sheppard acknowledged that with a nod. "Jack."

"I should have known that something like this would happen."

"What-?" Rodney snapped but Sheppard stopped him with a glance.

"What do you mean?"

Jackson's eyes darted from Rodney to Sheppard before he started to tell his story in a subdued voice. "You need to know that James only started this affair with Dr. Merry because he thought that she could bring him nearer to Dr. McKay. The one he was really in love with."

Rodney wanted to disappear into the ground. To assume something and to hear it were two completely different things. But before he could flee from the room, Sheppards next question aroused his interest. Not the question itself, but the harsh voice that asked it.

"And you knew about this the whole time?"

"No!" Jackson blurted but began to shrink under Sheppards intense glare. "I mean, yes. But not from the beginning. He told me after I watched how he came out of Dr. McKay's quarters after the explosion in the Jumper Bay. I thought that was suspicious and asked him until he finally told me everything about the gifts and notes. I told him that it couldn't go on like this and that he needed to stop before it was too late. But he wouldn't listen and we were fighting for some time..."

"Like your fight in the Gate Room?" Sheppard interrupted him and Rodney mentally slapped himself. Of course, that's why Jackson looked so familiar. He was the soldier that had argued with Connolly during their return from P3X-975. Rodney felt quesy when he thought back to that point. They had spoken about him? While he was just some meters away? That was kinda...unsettling. Sheppard seemed to think along the same lines because his eyes narrowed even further.

"Why didn't you tell anyone about this, Lieutnant?"

Rodney winced at the ice in Sheppards voice and wouldn't he have been famous for his arrogant and unrelenting attitude, he may have asked the Colonel to go easy on his savior, because..._duh, savior_!

"I never even imagined that he would go so far, but when someone burned your jacket I just knew that it had to be him and I told him that, if he wouldn't turn himself in, I would." He turned apologizing eyes on Rodney. "I'm sorry that I waited two days but...James was my friend after all."

Rodney felt a pang of guilt and compassion for the man in front of him but kept his mouth shut. He wasn't that good in the comfort departement.

But Jackson didn't seem to expect him to say something though, because he was already talking again. "I was actually searching for Colonel Sheppard when I heard loud voices in the labs. I immediately recognized James' and I saw how he cornered Dr. McKay with a knife and...well you know the rest." He sighed heavily, his voice full of regret. "I guess he somehow knew that I was on my way to Colonel Sheppard and panicked."

Rodney remembered the way Connollys eyes had steadily moved across the room like a trapped animal and the desperate air that seemed to surround him.

"That's the understatement of the year..." he murmured testily but Sheppard must have catched it, because the hand on his shoulder wandered to his back and began to run soothing circles. Rodney relaxed immediately and felt remotely embarrassed that the lightest of Sheppards touches could do this to him. But when he noticed Jacksons unreadable expression and remembered that they weren't alone, he straightened immediately and rose from his chair.

"Well as much as I would like to talk a little bit more about our favorite psychotic, I guess I'll go to bed and sleep for the next few days. Near-death experiences tend to make me kinda sleepy."

Before he could even finish, a hand grabbed his collar and yanked him back into the seat he had just left. He glared up to see a smirking Sheppard and a confused Jackson stare back at him.

"What was that for? You could have broken my neck with that move! Is me almost dying once a day not enough for you?"

"I want you to stay with Lt. Jackson until I searched Lt. Connollys quarters."

Rodney's glare darkened. "Why?"

Sheppard sighed wearily and walked in the direction of the door. "Just humor me, okay McKay?" When he reached the doorway, he turned around and looked like he wanted to say something else but just shook his head and turned to Jackson instead. "If he gives you any trouble just get him some coffee. That should shut him up."

"Oh thank you Colonel." Rodney huffed, "I feel so loved right now." No need to mention that his heart _had_ sped up at the thought of coffee.

John's smile softened and Rodney liked to imagine that his depature was the least bit hestitant. As soon as the Colonel was gone, Rodney stared expectantly at Lt. Jackson until the Marine was shifting from one foot to another.

"Well?" Rodney asked. "Didn't I hear something about coffee?"

* * *

20 minutes had gone by and Rodney was already bored out of his mind. And that didn't happen often.

Meanwhile he had finished the report he was doing for Zelenka and corrected those of the so-called scientists who worked under him. Seriously, sometimes he wondered how they had managed to convince the SGC to hire them. His niece could have discovered some of the mistakes these imbeciles made.

There was no more coffee that could have soothed Rodney and Lt. Jackson did nothing more than sit in his corner, looking as bored as the scientist felt. Not that Rodney was in the mood for small talk. He was way to tired for that. Why couldn't he just go to bed already?

Rodney fumed.

Stupid Sheppard and his overprotective streak.

Stupid stalker and his (although understandable) adoration for him.

Stupid universe and its need to torture him with stupid things!

His furious (and maybe even a little bit childish) inner rant was cut off by the arrival of Miko.

The young scientist flushed when she saw him and Rodney wondered why she never complained about the temperature in here when it was obviously way to hot for her. Everytime he saw her, her face would be bright red and little drops of sweat would tickle down her forehead. That couldn't be healthy.

She walked cautiously over to him like she always did, like she was afraid of him or something. It irritated Rodney from time to time because, if he had a soft spot with one of his scientists, it was with Dr. Kusanagi. He didn't know why, but something about her made it hard for him to snap at her like he did with everyone else.

So when he asked her what she was doing in the labs at this time of night, it sounded genuinely curious.

"Ah, Dr. McKay. I was just checking some of the systems when I discovered a power fluctuation in one of the vacant parts of the city. I just wanted to get my equipment to fix it..."

"Power fluctuation?" Rodney asked, already tapping away on his own laptop. "Where exactly?"

She showed him and he sighed wearily.

It wasn't the first time that one of the systems in this part of the city had acted up. It was usually small and easy to fix but if left alone it could quickly become quite a problem. And ZPM's didn't grow on trees...

He glanced up when he heard Miko yawn. Rodney saw the dark lines under her eyes and guessed that he wasn't the only one who hadn't gotten much sleep lately.

Ah, well. The day couldn't get any worse. Besides, everything was better than to sit here and do nothing. When he had to stay awake, he could at least do something useful. And he hadn't joked about that soft spot.

"I'll handle this Dr. Kusanagi. You look like you're about to fall over. Don't need you to pass out in an area where our sensors don't work."

Miko blushed even more and he wondered, if she was so tired because she was fighting a fever.

"Oh thank you Dr. McKay! You are such a generous man!"

"Yeah, generous. That's me. Now go before I change my mind."

Before she had finally left, Miko had bowed and praised his generosity so many times that Rodney was seriously embarrassed by the time she was gone. God, this woman took gratitude to a new level.

He jumped in surprised when Lt. Jackson cleared his throat. "Uhm, Dr. McKay. Colonel Sheppard asked you to stay here until he got back."

Rodney wanted to snap something like 'None of your buisness' but bit his tongue.

'Hell, this man killed his best friend for you. Show a little gratitude.'

On the other side... Rodney wasn't some damsel in distress. It was just a little power fluctuation. A matter of 10 minutes. And Sheppard was being ridiculous. The danger was over. Connolly was dead and there was nothing to fear than the usual; Wraith, Genii invasions, mysterious dark fogs..._ 'Been there, done that'._

But Jackson had his orders so he would have to trick a little bit.

"Well, actually the Colonel only said that you'd have to stay with me. So I guess as long as you accompany me it should be alright."

Rodney hadn't expected that his little compromise would work and was mighty surprised when Jackson did nothing more than stare at him with a thoughtful expression before he nodded. "Okay."

Rodney masked his surprise and gathered a few things that he would need.

_'Huh, that was easy...'_

When he got everything he needed he muttered a "Let's go." and left the lab without even waiting to see if Jackson followed him.

And if he felt a little bit uneasy because he acted against Sheppards direct orders, he pushed it back immediately.

Sheppard was too overprotective. That was all there was to it.

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_**A/N**: __Hope you're not too confused! It will all make sense in the end... at least it does in my twisted mind! LOL **Part 2 will be up this weekend!!!**_

_Review, cause reviews are my dietary staple and they are so yummy! ^^_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: Mostly Sheppard this time (with little innuendos from Rodney) 'cause I think I kinda neglected him a little bit._

_Also, I edited the previous chapter a little bit...well actually I just erased the last sentence because I think it gave too much away after all and kinda takes the wind out of this one...I know for those who have read it already it's kinda pointless but I also have to think about the guys who'll discover and hopefully read this story a little bit later! Hope you can forgive me for my indecision...this whole thing gets harder to write with each chapter...-.-"_

* * *

_graphology = handwriting analysis_

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16. Don't count your scientist's until they are hatched (Part 2)

"Are you sure that you should be doing this?" Elizabeth asked and maybe his radio didn't work properly, because John could have sworn that she sounded a little bit peeved. And for some reason he knew that she wasn't refering to the search of Connollys quarters.

"What are you talking about Elizabeth? I am the Head of Security, of course I should be doing this."

The scientist that John had grabbed on his way to Connollys quarters shot him an incredulous look before he resumed his work on Connollys door.

Well, maybe his answer had been a wee bit flippant, but John was getting frustrated with her resistance. Didn't she know that they _had_ to search Connollys quarters? It was procedure.

"But why now John? It's late. Can't this wait until tomorrow?"

John could understand that she found it a little bit strange to search a room in the middle of the night. Especially when the suspect was already dead and there was no need to hurry anymore.

But John was too wired to even think about sleep. He _had been_ dead tired when he had left the mess hall to check on Rodney, the last couple of days finally catching up with him. But when Lieutnant Jackson had radioed him and told him what had happened, his blood had run cold and he had been wide-awake.

Rodney had been attacked and he hadn't been there...again!

When he'd finally reached the lab and seen that Rodney was a little bit pale and shaky but otherwise unharmed, he hadn't been able to resist the urge to gather him in his arms. And Rodney hadn't pulled back, despite their audience, but actually been a little bit reluctant to let him go. That's when John realized that this whole ordeal must have been harder on the scientist than he'd let on. Rodney wasn't the clingy and needy type. Not usually.

So John had watched him the entire time, while Carson checked on Rodney and confirmed that Connolly was dead.

"Wow, what would we do without you Carson..." Rodney had muttered sarcastically but the doctor had just smiled at him and left with a "Good night, ye lucky bugger", while his team transported the body.

A lot of tension had left Rodney then and John had ordered a Marine to get him some coffee when the scientist had started to get annoyed with the remaining Marines.

By the time John and Lt. Jackson were the only ones left, Rodney had regained most of his composure and John had relaxed considerably. But not entirely.

Something felt off but he coudn't put his finger on it. Connolly had practically confessed everything in front of Rodney, so why had John the feeling that this wasn't quite over yet?

He suspected that he just felt anxious, because he wanted to put an end to this affair. Once and for all. He wouldn't sleep until he had done everything that was necessary, thus searching Connollys quarters for more evidence. He doubted that he would sleep that night at all, since he had to write a full report for the SGC.

"I just want to get this over and done with and for things to get normal again." He didn't add _'for Rodney'_ but he didn't need to. John was pretty sure that Elizabeth was thinking along the same lines.

"Well okay John. But I'm sending you someone who should be able to help you."

John didn't ask who she was talking about because at this moment, the doors to Connollys quarters finally swished open.

"Okay" he muttered and, without further ado, cut off the line and entered the room.

* * *

"So, you and Colonel Sheppard are good friends?"

Rodney's step faltered for a second when they exited the last transporter that they would be able to use. From now on they would have to walk through an endless maze of corridors. Good thing that Rodney knew Atlantis like the back of his hand.

"What?" he asked rather stupidly because, honestly! Where did that come from?

"Well you seem like good friends?"

"Of course we are friends! We are teammates. We have to know that the other won't trip us up when we are running from the Wraith."

Why had he even bothered to answer? Rodney didn't even know this Jackson. Saving his life was one thing, but asking about his relationship to Sheppard was another altogether!

"I know what you mean. Trust is everything. Like James trusted me..."

Rodney didn't want to see the look of pain and grief on Jacksons face, so he concentrated on his feet instead.

"Look Jackson..."

"Jack."

"Yeah, well... Jack. I'm sorry for what happened to Connolly and..." _'Hell, and I wished my apology wouldn't sound so damn forced.'_

"Oh no Dr. McKay! You are in no need to apologize. James was dangerous and obviously mad. He had to be stopped!"

Rodney was appalled at the amount of venom in Jacksons voice. Hadn't this man been totally crushed about the demise of his best friend just a few minutes ago?

Before he could recover from his shock, Jackson already began to rant about everything and nothing. Rodney bit back a snort. And here he had thought that Jackson was one of the quiet ones, considering his silence in the lab.

But instead to snap at the Lieutnant to shut up, Rodney just turned him out. A technique he had perfected during the times that he'd had to safe the city and irritating Colonels seemed to think that it was a good idea to tell him every two minutes to _'hurry up'._

It wasn't worth arguing with this man and he still hadn't forgotten that, without Jackson, he might not even be here anymore.

So Jacksons theories went unheard while they immerged into darker and more deserted parts of the city.

* * *

When Sheppard entered Connollys quarters he was surprised to see how... _normal_ it looked.

He knew that it was stupid, but he had expected to see some evidence of Connollys obsession. Maybe a little shrine in the corner, with pictures of Rodney.

"I'm watching too many movies." John muttered while he surveyed the room that didn't look much different from his own.

The bed was neatly done and except some clothes on the floor there was nothing out of order. The desk was standing right besides the bed and Sheppard almost immediately discovered the empty bottles of beer that were 'hidden' in the small gap between the bed and the desk. He counted altogether four of them and remembered that Rodney mentioned the smell of alcohol in Connollys breath (John had shuddered when he'd imagined how close someone had to come to clearly something like this).

John hadn't been too pleased when the Daedalus had brought alcohol to Atlantis. It hadn't been much, actually quite little considering the number of people that were living in the city. And John enjoyed a good beer like everyone else, so he hadn't resisted too much. But deep down, he had always feared that some wouldn't be able to control themselves.

John made a mental note that he and Elizabeth would have to work something out to control the alcohol intake of every member. He pushed the idea to the back of his mind and began to focus on his actual task.

He began to search the wardrobe, still secretly expecting to find the shrine.

What he _did_ find were some stuffy clothes that needed to see some water. He sniffed in dissatisfaction and focused on the desk instead. It came quite as a surprise when he realized that Connolly didn't seem to own a laptop.

It wasn't actually necessary to have one, but highly uncommon not to. John frowned at the complete lack of technology in the whole room. Something was wrong with that.

He remembered how the gate technican had told him that it wasn't too hard to manipulate the video feed if you knew what you were doing. But John found it hard to believe that someone who didn't even own a laptop, could figure out how to mess with the videofeeds.

He was getting frustrated. The lack of a computer also meant that he had nothing that he could bring to said technican. Maybe they could have found something, for example the missing part of the surveillance video.

While he pondered over the missing laptop, Johns eyes fell on a letter that lay on the desktop. His heart sped up until he saw that it was just a letter that Connolly had started to write for his sister.

He picked it up and began to read the few lines. It wasn't like inviolability of the mail was an issue anymore.

But his scepticism grew even more while he read the thing.

Not a single word about Rodney.

Not that Sheppard thought that Connolly would tell his sister about his obsession with the scientist. But there wasn't even a single word about a crush he may have about a certain person. Nothing at all.

Sheppard had thought that a man with this kind of obsession wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut for too long. Especially not with family.

But all he told his sister was that he really liked it here and that the weather here was really nice (without ever mentioning where 'here' actually was) and that he couldn't wait to visit her when he was on leave next month.

Sheppard put the letter down, none the wiser than he had been before.

He started to go through the drawers until he found something that caused him to narrow his eyes once more.

God, he was going to get a headache from all the constant frowning.

He mustered the picture frame in his hand and was more confused than ever.

The picture showed a scenery off-world. The trees in the background looked alien and the sky had a unnatural green tinge. But Sheppard was more focused on the couple that posed in front of the scenery.

Lt. Connolly smiled cheekily into the camera and had an arm draped over the shoulder of a woman, who smile just as brightly. But not any woman.

Sheppard recognized Dr. Merry instantly, although it was hard to connect this happy looking woman with the impolite and grumpy person he had met in the labs.

"What the hell?"

Why was Connolly keeping a picture of himself and the woman he had supposedly just used to get to Rodney? That didn't make sense. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

What the hell was going on here?

* * *

"Do you have your radio with you Dr. McKay?"

Rodney groaned in response. And not because Jackson began to get on his nerves with his constant questions, but because he actually _had_ forgotten his radio. Again.

Didn't he learn from his mistakes at all?

Sheppard had once threatened to super glue the little earpiece into his ear and sometimes, although Rodney would never admit it, he could understand John's exasperation.

But speaking of John... maybe it wasn't so bad that he couldn't contact him right now. Hey, maybe they would be back before Sheppard even noticed that they were gone...

"Dr. McKay?"

"What?"

"Your radio?"

Rodneys eyebrow twitched at the miffed tone in Jacksons voice. "No, but one way or another it's not necessary. Radios and sensors won't work where we are going."

"So," his escort drawled from behind him, "we will be totally marooned from the others as soon as we are there?"

Oh, God. Should Marines be such worrywarts?

"Yes we will be Lt. Obvious. But if that's a problem for you I could go alone." _'Please say yes!'_ "Is this a problem for you?"

And he didn't sound hopeful!

But the Lieutnant didn't seem to take the hint and just shook his head no and smiled at him.

"No. No problem at all."

* * *

"Colonel Sheppard?"

The call jerked John from his thoughts and he looked up from the picture in his hands.

In the doorway stood one of his Marines, Lt. Trend if he wasn't mistaken. She stood at attention, what looked a bit ridiculous considering that she wasn't wearing her uniform, but pajamas and slippers instead of boots. Her short hair was sticking out at odd angles and she had dark circles under her eyes. She was the poster girl for interrupted sleep.

Sheppard bit back a grin and waved at her to stay at ease.

"What can I do for you Lieutnant?"

He had expected a disgruntled answer that matched her appearance, but what he got instead was a bright smile while she entered the quarters like a duck takes to water. Her voice didn't sound sleepy at all.

"Actually Sir, I was told that I could help you."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yes. Dr. Weir sends me. She wants me to take a look at the letters."

It was obvious that she didn't really knew anything about "the letters". Her curiousity was almost palpable.

Sheppard began to reach for the letters that he was keeping in his pocket since Rodney had threatened to throw them away, but didn't pull them out.

"Why would she want that?"

Trend was already reading the letter that Connolly had written for his sister. When she answered she sounded a little bit bored. "I studied graphology before I joined the Marines." she replied without looking up. "Dr. Weir wants me to compare the handwritings of Connolly and the letters you received and see if they match."

Sheppard handed them over without further hestitation and cheered silently. _'Good idea Elizabeth.'_

Trend's eyebrows disappeared under her hairline while she read the first two letters and a tinge of pink flushed her cheeks. John was just glad that Connolly had never mentioned Rodney's name. But then he remembered the rumors that were spreading through Atlantis. He would have to make sure that Trend wouldn't talk to anyone else about this.

Trend didn't utter a single word and her eyes roamed from one letter to another. She radiated a level of professionalism that John hadn't thought she was capable of.

10 minutes passed by before she seemed to come to a conclusion and spread the papers all over the desktop.

"Well the... love letters," she obviously chocked a little on the term, "are definitely from the same person who wrote the letter that we found in this room. The person who wrote them was definitely left-hander. And do you see the _'P'_ in every _'Precious'_? It's written in one go. No breaks. That's actually fairly extraordinary for a left-hander, so it's a clear indicator. It's in every letter the same..."

John saw what she meant and breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. Connolly _had_ written the letters! No doubt there. The picture of Dr. Merry in his drawer was indeed strange, but nothing more...

He was about to thank her for her efforts, when her next words stopped him cold.

"...except in this one."

Only now John realized that she hadn't spread every letter on the table. One was still in her hand. The one that Sheppard dreaded the most.

The one that had been found near the ashes that had been his jacket.

Trend continued without seeing how pale he had gone. "This one was not written by the same person that wrote the others."

"I thought that it just looked so diffent because the person had been in a hurry."

"You could think that, right?" she chattered happily. "It's such a scrawly writing and the others were so neat. But if you look closely, you'll see that this one doesn't feature a back handwriting like the others. The person who wrote this is a right-hander."

"What does that mean?"

Trend regarded him like he was a little bit slow on the uptake, but Sheppard didn't hold it against her. She didn't know how important this was. She didn't know that there was a corpse in a secluded part of the infirmary. She just didn't know...

"It means," she drawled, totally unaware how important her answer would be, "that, whoever wrote those other letters, definitely didn't write this one."

She waved said letter in front of his face and he grabbed it faster than she could look.

John stared at the taunting words, but didn't feel the desperation he had expected, but cold-blooded rage.

"He had an accomplice!"

* * *

Rodney McKay loved Atlantis, maybe even more than anyone else.

Atlantis was security. Atlantis was familiarity. Atlantis was home.

But just because he had devoted his life to this city, didn't mean that he couldn't criticize her at certain times. Like he really couldn't get friendly with her dark and vacant parts, like all those corridors they had to go through to reach their destination. Or the abandoned labs that always made him feel like a little kid again when he had to clean the moldy attic.

Yeah, he really didn't like the abandoned labs.

Almost as much as he didn't like the dusty panel that he'd had to work on for the last few minutes and that made him sneeze every so often.

But while he just kinda disliked those things, he absolutely _hated_ the chuckle that he would hear everytime he almost sneezed his brains out.

This Jackson was really starting to piss him off. Gratitude or not.

"Damn Zelenka." he muttered to himself and blamed everyone that he could think of in his irritation. A little habit that he couldn't seem to get rid of. "Damn Miko. Damn Sheppard. Damn _totally pointless_ power fluctuation. What is this? _'Annoy-Rodney'-_week? And why didn't I get the memo?"

"I don't know Dr. McKay." came the husky reply, which was totally drowned in Rodneys annoyed groan.

"Oh my god! Ever heard of rhetorical questions?" He replaced the last damaged crystal and Rodney was satisfied to discover that the problem was fixed. "Remind me to fetch you the next time Sheppard insists that his goons aren't completely dumb."

His insult was met with a chest pressed against his back and a hum, sickenly close to his ear.

"You can come and fetch me every time you want, my precious."

* * *

_A/N: Familiar much? *LOL* I kno---w it's getting old, but that's the last evil cliffhanger of this kind! Promise! The next one will be especially tricky to write...*sweat*_

_Thanks for over 12.000 hits for this story! *hugs everyone in one supa-dupa mega hug*_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Warning:** Really bad language and a stalker who has no sense for personal space whatsoever. I guess this chapter could be rated T-M..._

_**A/N:** I have nothing to say but that I really start to enjoy writing Elizabeth's POV! Especially when she is musing over Sheppard and McKay!^^ And I'm using the term 'intersection' although I'm not sure if that's the right one! If you know a better word, please tell me!_

_And thanks for your reviews!!! This "blackmailing"- idea was really tempting, but I'll stick to my own!^^_

_**Please mind the warning! It's there for a reason!**_

* * *

17. Hilarious

"I'm going to kill him! I swear to god, I'm going to fucking KILL HIM!"

The silence that followed John's outburst was deafening. Elizabeth had never heard him use this kind of language. It could have been funny that he promised to kill the person they were actually trying to save. Aside from the fact that it really wasn't!

Sheppard was pacing the length of the Control Room, causing the Marines he had brought with him to flinch everytime he expressed his... _frustration_.

Elizabeth couldn't blame them. Battle-tested Marine or not: Sheppard could be scary when he was like that.

But she couldn't blame John either.

Elizabeth could only imagine how it must have been for Sheppard to return to the labs, with the knowledge that Connolly had had an accomplice, just to find it deserted. No sign of Rodney whatsoever, except for his radio. A knot of fear had settled in her stomache until they saw the videofeed and witnessed how Rodney had left the lab. Voluntary.

And that's when Sheppard had lost it.

John was furious, and to be honest, so was Elizabeth, but she could hide it better than her Head of Security.

"Please calm down John..."

"I told him to stay where he was! Why can't he listen to me! Just once! This stubborn, arrogant, stupid son of a-"

"John!"

Elizabeth's shout stopped him. She knew that he was only acting like this because he was feeling helpless and because he worried so damn much about the scientist. The words were empty threats, which were probably forgotten the second he saw that Rodney was alright. But he had to stay calm. He had to be able to lead those Marines that were staring at him with wide eyes. The Head of Security had to stay in conrol.

And John knew it.

"You're right Elizabeth." He seemed to deflate in front of her eyes and the calm mask of control was back in place. Not that Elizabeth liked this mask any better but it seemed to help him focus on the important things.

"So, where is he?" Sheppard asked one of the technicans.

The man seemed to be intimidated, because he began to shift in his seat and looked everywhere but at Sheppard.

"Uhm, the.... the sensors can't locate Dr. McKay and Lt. Jackson, sir."

John seemed ready to rip something apart, so Elizabeth stepped in. "Why?"

The technican relaxed considerably. "They have to be in a part of the city where our sensors can't reach them. Probably an unexplored part of Atlantis."

Okay, that was bad. Really bad. The last time Elizabeth had checked, the unexplored areas covered several kilometers. Rodney could be everywhere by now.

Elizabeth could practically hear how Sheppard clenched his teeth behind her back.

"Uhm Dr. Weir? Colonel Sheppard?"

They turned in time to see how Miko Kusanagi entered the Control Room. The young woman looked asleep on her feet, but Sheppard didn't seem to notice. He immediately waved her towards one of the monitors and showed her the videofeed from the lab.

"Why were you in the labs? What did you and Dr. McKay talk about?"

The questions were clipped and emotionless and the young Doctor glanced at Elizabeth before she stuttered her reply. "Uhm, I ah, told him about a power fluctuation I discovered and the very honourable Dr. McKay offered to fix it so I could go to bed."

Any other day and Elizabeth would have smiled at the adoring look on her face when she talked about the _'very honourable Dr. McKay'_.

"Where?" Sheppard asked.

Miko seemed to hear the urgency in his voice and shoved the technican out of his seat. It never ceased to amaze Elizabeth how brusque the petit woman could be when the situation warranted it.

The monitor began to show a schematic of the city and Miko showed them where they should find Rodney.

"It seems like Dr. McKay has already fixed it..." she added with a thoughtful look on her face.

John stared at the area she was pointing out and took charge.

"Okay, Benson and DiMartino you are with me. And Lorne, you will take some men and send them to Dr. McKays quarters and the labs in case he comes back."

There were a few hurried "Yessir"s and before Elizabeth could count to three, Sheppard and his men were gone. Lorne and some Marines followed soon after, but Elizabeth knew that John didn't really believe that Rodney would come back on his own.

Jackson had obviously lied to them and that was never a good sign.

Miko appeared at her side, close to tears. "Dr. Weir, is Dr. McKay alright?"

Elizabeth didn't have the strenght to lie to her, so she just said the truth and hoped that John would make it in time.

"I don't know."

* * *

Rodney wanted to do many different things all at once. He wanted to scream and to laugh and to cry. And he wanted to smack himself so that he could finally wake up. But above all, he had the sudden urge to throw up.

The pressure against his back and the searching hands on his butt _('Oh my god, this guy is groping my butt!')_ were just too much and he began to shiver. The panel that he had worked on was pressing painfully into his chest and the body heat against his back felt like it would burn right through his clothes. The man he had kind of trusted with his safety, just a few minutes ago, was suddenly much too close for comfort.

His mind was running in circles but his body reacted on sheer instincts and before he knew it, his elbow had connected with Jacksons stomach. Hard.

Rodney could have sobbed in relief when he heard a choked noise and the hands finally left his backside. He had just enough time however to turn around, before Jackson grabbed him by his arms and tossed him against a wall. Rodney's legs threatened to give in when his head connected with the hard surface. He felt dizzy and disorientated and when the room finally stopped to move around him, he realized with dread that Jackson had him effectively pinned against the wall.

Rodney experienced a small moment of panic when his claustrophobia kicked in and he felt like he couldn't breath anymore.

_'This isn't happening. Nononono! This isn't happening!'_

He hissed in pain when the hands on his arms tightened painfully and Jackson's face loomed over him. God, this man was tall...

But more than the size difference, it was Jackson's face that terrified Rodney to the bone.

Jackson was smiling. And not the crazy and twisted smile that Rodney had expected from this lunatic, but a gentle and sweet one. A smile that you gave your children when they were afraid or in pain. The comparison made Rodney sick.

The only thing that gave Jackson away were his eyes. They were bright and shining with something that one could only describe as madness. It looked like the bottom half of his face belonged to someone else entirely.

"I'm sorry, my love." God, even his voice sounded gentle and caring. So why did his hands leave bruises on Rodneys upper arms? "But that wasn't very nice of you, you know?"

"So sue me." His forced bravado couldn't quite hide the utter terror he was feeling. "G-Get off! I'm warning you, I'll scream this whole place together!"

Jackson just smirked and leaned even closer and Rodney fought with everything he had, just to get _away_ from him. But nothing he did seemed to work.

_'Of course not! You're dealing with one of Sheppard's friggin' Marines!'_ he thought in panik.

Rodney could feel the muscles in Jackson's chest where he'd laid his hands to push the man away... Oh boy, he was so royally screwed.

"You sure can try, but you and I both know that no one would hear you." Jackson said. "Besides, you wanted this didn't you? Luring me to an abandoned part of the city, where no one can reach us, despite Sheppard's orders. I had wanted to wait a little bit, but you couldn't await this, could you?" Jackson chuckled and it was the most disturbing sound that Rodney had ever heard. "You are so_ eager_, Precious."

Jackson made a move to kiss him and Rodney was sure that he was going to have a stroke. _'OhgodOhgodOhgod...'_

"What are you talking about?" Rodney screamed, while he writhed in Jackson's grip. "I- I didn't lure you anywhere and now get off, you damn neanderthal! GET. OFF!"

And Jackson actually_ did_ lean back, but the disappointed pout on his face was almost worse than the smile. "But I love you, Precious! Didn't you read my letters?"

Rodney stopped his struggling long enough to process the new information. "Your letters? But... Connolly..."

"Is an idiot. Oh, I mean _was_ an idiot." There was this disturbing chuckle again and Rodney was momentarily too stunned to move.

"It was so easy, you know?!" Jackson purred into his ear. "James wasn't too happy when you sent his precious Dr. Merry back to earth. He was so damn eager to get back at you. I could have told him everything."

Every question Rodney had wanted to ask got stuck in his throat when Jackson began to lick his neck. He squeaked in surprise and horror when he realized that, despite his struggles, he could do nothing to throw this man off. He wouldn't be able to stop him when Jackson wanted to do more.

Rodney tried to breath through the bile that was forming in his throat, turned his head away and concentrated on Jackson's words, instead of the wet feeling on his neck.

"He catched me one day when I was watching you." his stalker mumbled against a spot behind Rodney's ear. "He actually came over and asked me if I was also mad at you." A husky laugh that vibrated against Rodney's skin. "As if I could ever be mad at you."

Rodney noticed that the grip on his arms had loosened a tiny bit since he had stopped to struggle and it took him everything to stay still. The talking seemed to relax the Lieutnant and although Rodney's insides were screaming at him to get the hell away from this maniac, another voice told him to stay still, to keep Jackson talking and to buy time. The voice sounded suspiciously like Sheppard's, so Rodney did what he should have done in the first place.

He listened to him.

"And what happened then?" His voice quivered and Jackson seemed to mistake it for arousal, because Rodney could feel him smile against his skin.

"Why, I told him some ridiculous story about, how you had angered me with one of your adorable rants and that I wanted revenge, just like him. And then I told him how I wanted to do it. The poor fool was as keen as mustard. He practically begged me to let him help me."

Despite the situation, Rodney couldn't help but roll his eyes. Adorable? He couldn't wait until Sheppard heard that.

He swallowed hard when he thought of John.

_'Oh man, Sheppards gonna rip my head off when he finds me.'_ And Rodney had no doubt that Sheppard _would_ find him. He just hoped that it wouldn't be too late.

"Why involve Connolly? Wasn't he an unnecessary risk?"

Jackson leaned back to look him in the eye and Rodney had to surpress the urge to reach up and rub at the spot on his neck where he had licked him. It felt like Jacksons tongue was still there and Rodney briefly wondered if it would be always like that from now on.

"Maybe a risk, but certainly not unnecessary. I always thought that a good plan needs a good scapegoat. You know, someone who'll take the blame. James provided the flowers from the mainland, wrote the letters that I dictated him and I manipulated the videofeed while he delivered them. All evidence would have led to him. Can you believe that he really thought that this was all just a big prank? He never knew that I was dead serious about you. Isn't that hilarious?"

_'No.'_ Rodney thought and an image of Connolly, dead and broken, invaded his thoughts, _'No, it's not._'

"And where did your marvelous plan go wrong?" And he just _couldn't_ surpress the anger and sarcasm in his voice, no matter how terrified he was. "Why did Connolly come to me? Or was that also part of your plan?"

Jackson didn't seem to notice the venom in Rodneys voice. He was too wrapped up with laughing.

"No that wasn't planned. That idiot got cold feet, would you believe that? He thought that we went too far when we broke into your quarters after your accident in the Jumper Bay. He wanted to stop."

"But you wouldn't let him." Rodney stated and noticed how the grip on his arms had loosened even more. But not enough.

"Of course not. I was actually telling you and Sheppard the truth about that. We _were_ arguing while you were off-world." His expressioned morphed into a grimace and Rodney couldn't help but flinch at the hatred he saw there. "And then I saw how that bastard Sheppard was drooling over you when you came back. I had to do something! I had to show Sheppard that you are mine!"

He had screamed the last sentence and Rodney closed his eyes, expecting to get hit. But when nothing happened and he opened his eyes again, Jackson was calm and the creepy smile was neatly back in place. _'This guy has to be bi-polar or something.'_

"Unfortunately, James wasn't too happy when he heard about my little 'message' for Sheppard and I guess he began to realize that this wasn't a game anymore. He wanted to confess everything. That's why he came to you. He wanted to tell you everything before he went to Dr. Weir. He was just a little bit clumsy, bringing a knife and all that..." He trailed off and heaved a heavy sigh and Rodney wanted to slap him for the fake regret in it. "I suspected something like that and was prepared. James was really desperate by the time he finally had enough courage to face you. He probably thought that he would loose his precious job."

_'We need to talk Dr. McKay.'....'It isn't what you think it is.'.... You need to understand that I didn't...'_

Connollys words played over and over in Rodney's head. He remembered a man that looked like he hadn't slept in days and he remembered a desperate man and Rodney wondered how he could have missed the fear in his eyes.

Rodney couldn't believe how cold the man in front of him was. And he couldn't believe that another man had had to die because of Jackson's obsession with him. Okay, so Connolly had helped Jackson, but the guy hadn't known what he was getting himself into. He had certainly not expected to die.

Rodney was so wrapped up in his thoughts, that he almost missed how Jackson leaned in to kiss him and he could barely turn his head away in time. The idea of Jacksons lips on his own was unbearable.

"Oh, Precious." A hand grabbed his chin and forced his head back, until he looked Jackson straight in the eye. "I know that this is new to you but you don't need to be afraid. I won't hurt you."

Rodney knew that this was his only chance and wouldn't he have been so utterly terrified of what was going to happen, _maybe_ he would have hestitated for a split second. But so he just hissed "Can't say that I won't though!" and ruthlessly kicked Jackson where it hurt a man the most.

The Lieutnant immediately screamed bloody murder and Rodney used the distraction to yank himself free. He ran from the room in a pace that was usually reserved for Wraith and homicidal villagers. Not that Rodney found that Jackson was any less dangerous...

He knew that his move could have been deemed to be dishonourable, but he really didn't care. _'Fuck honour.'_

All he wanted to do was to get away from his potentional rapist.

It didn't take as much time as he would have liked before he heard foorsteps behind him.

"That wasn't nice Precious! You made me very angry!"

And Rodney believed him, because Jackson definitely sounded angry. So very angry in fact, that Rodney almost missed his gentle voice. Almost.

The scientist quickened his pace and pointetly ignored the pain in his still healing ankle.

When he reached the first intersection, he turned left instead of running straight ahead. Rodney knew that he wouldn't be able to outrun the Marine, so he had to loose his pursuer by taking detours and avoiding the common route.

The trouble was, that his lungs were already screaming at him.

_'I'm never going to decline John's offer to jog with him ever again...'_

* * *

John cursed under his breath. Another intersection.

The unexplored parts of the city were like a maze and although they knew exactly where Miko had send Rodney, there were many different possibilities to reach that point. While John and the others took one route, Jackson could use another to escape and they wouldn't even notice it.

"This won't work." he muttered and clenched his fists.

Lt. Benson and DiMartino threw each other confused glances. "Sir?"

John ignored them. It was protocol to go in teams, he knew that. But they didn't actually_ know_ if McKay was in any danger. Jackson had obviously lied in some aspects, but that didn't mean that he had something to do with this...

_'Yeah, right John. Of course not.'_

And if Jackson was, in fact, _'Scientist's Lover'_, then maybe it would be better if John found them alone. John always seemed to be the one who found Rodney first in such situations. And Rodney would be grateful for that, in case...

_'No, don't think that!'_ John chided himself. _'You won't let that happen! Jackson won't lay a finger on Rodney. Not if you can help it.'_

That's when he came to a decision.

"We're going to split up. Benson, you'll go left. DiMartino, you'll go right and I'll go straight ahead. We're going to corner them. Maintain constant radio contact and as soon as one of you find them, you'll tell me. Remember that Lt. Jackson could be dangerous, but don't rush things. We need clarity. Let's go."

He didn't wait to see if his orders were obeyed. He felt nauseous when he imagined the situation that Rodney could be in right now.

John grabbed his gun so hard, that his knuckles turned white. If Rodney just so much as missed a hair, Jackson would wish that he was never born.

_'And that's a promise.'_

* * *

_**A/N:** Pretty short, but intense. Tell me what you think!^^ I know the ending line was a little much cliche but I think that John's serious when he says something like this.... heck, I should know shouldn't I? LOL_

_I hope that I got everything covered! If there are things between the Connolly and Jackson dynamic that are still unclear then please ask me. Either I was going to answer them in the next chapter(s) or I totally forgot them and will fix it before I post the next chapter! Or the answer lies in a previous chapter^^_

_**The fun is not over yet, Rodney! *muahahahaha***_


	18. Chapter 18

_**WARNINGS:** This chaper contains cursing (oh surprise) and **slight non-con moments** (nothing too traumatizing, don't worry)!!! But this chapter is **DEFINITELY RATED M**!!!_

_**A/N:** Oh gosh, *collapses into her seat* this was so hard to write for so many different reasons... I took great pains to do this as enjoyable as possible although I had no practice in writing such things whatsoever! And once again: I have no conception of technical stuff whatsoever, please bear with it! It's not too important for the actual story anyway..._

_Thank you so much for all your reviews! You're great!^^_

* * *

18. Special Discount

If you'd have asked Rodney McKay if there was a part of his body that he hated the most, he would have told you that he despised his right ankle.

Well, at least he did when he was running through dark corridors in the middle of the night. Any other time he was quite content with it. But not now. Now he wanted to scream at it and insult it, no matter how crazy that would have been. Rodney was beyond caring at this point.

He stopped and leaned against a wall to relieve his aching foot while he listened for any suspicious noises. All he could hear however, was his own laboured breathing that echoed from the empty walls around him.

Rodney was pretty sure that he had lost Jackson a few minutes ago and that would have been great, if he wouldn't have lost his bearings in the process too.

Not paying attention where you were going wasn't such a great idea when every damn corridor looked_ exactly_ the same. Not even when you knew Atlantis like the back of your hand.

But although he was completely lost, Rodney wasn't afraid that he was going to stay missing until he died from thirst or hunger. Sooner or later he would find something that looked familiar and told him where he was.

But Rodney really, really hoped it would be 'sooner'. What with a rapist on his heels and all...

"Think Rodney!" The scientist whispered to himself. On the one hand, he really didn't want to make any noises in case Jackson was nearby, but on the other hand there was this eerie silence and it was really beginning to freak him out.

"To talk to yourself is the first sign of madness."

Rodney chuckled even though it hadn't been too funny. It was all he could do to take his mind off his predicament and what could lurk behind the next corner. Or who.

"Yeah, right. As if I could forget that." he muttered, while his hand unconsciously wandered up to his neck where he could still feel Jacksons lips.

It was a burning sensation that reminded Rodney of a bee sting. And that was _so_ not a good connotation considering that he was allergic to bees.

Rodney knew that the spot was only raw because he had chafed the skin with his constant scratching.

Gosh, Kate would have a field day with him when this was over. Nothing against Kate. She wasn't too stupid for a psychiatrist. But all he wanted to do right now was to sleep for a few days and to find a fresh cup of coffee besides his bed when he woke up.

Rodney closed his eyes for a moment and a dreamy smile touched his lips. Oh yeah, sleep would be nice...

He just realized that he was sliding down and snapped his eyes open. He had almost fallen asleep! The canadian shook his head and cursed the many double shifts he had worked these past few days. Now that the adrenaline from his encounter with Jackson had worn off he felt more drained than before. His legs were shaking from exhaustion, his ankle hurt like it was about to fall off and he actually felt kind of dizzy.

When was the last time that he had eaten again?

Rodney shook his head once more. He had no time to worry about hypoglycemia right now. Nothing he could do about it anyway since he hadn't bothered to bring some powerbars.

"Think Rodney!" he repeated more louder but also more weary.

There had to be something that he could do other than talking to himself and running.

Especially since he doubted that he would be able to do the latter much longer and not only because he was exhausted, but also because his ankle was killing him. Well, Carson had warned him and Rodney couldn't believe that running for his life was what the good doctor had been thinking about when he'd told him to take it easy for the next couple of days.

Rodney was about to run on, when his eyes landed on a console to his left and an idea formed in his head. A pretty primitive and half-baked idea, but an idea nonetheless. Rodney knew that it was a pretty wide shot and that it probably wouldn't work anyway but at least it was something he could do. And Rodney needed to do something or he'd go crazy.

So he limped towards the console and crouched down to open a panel. His laptop was still in the lab where Jackson had attacked him but he wouldn't need it for what he was about to do anyway. He experienced a short moment of guilt when he set to work. After all, he was about to damage his city.

And it was _his_ city, no matter how much she lusted for Sheppard. Considering that he did the same thing, Rodney found that he was able to forgive her for that.

Even though the damage would be small and easy to fix, Rodney had to fight with himself for a few seconds before he finished his work. The whole thing hadn't taken him more than five minutes.

Satisfied, Rodney closed the panel again and got to his feet.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad plan after all?! Maybe they already knew that he was missing and maybe they had already figured out that he was somewhere around here. And maybe Miko was with them and maybe she would be able to read his little message and...

Rodney had the urge to bang his head against a wall.

_'That's a hell of a lot 'maybe's' for a plan that could be your last chance...'_

But he had to stay positive, although he certainly didn't feel like it. It was only a matter of time before someone would come to get him. Hey, maybe Sheppard would come running around that corner every minute now and greet him with one of his cocky and superior _'I-told-you-so'_ grins.

Rodney frowned down on the manipulated console when he thought about his, no doubt, imminent meeting with Sheppard.

On the one hand, he really wanted to see John as soon as possible but on the other hand, he was really anxious about that encounter. The Colonel would be so damn mad at him, and worse, Rodney would_ deserve_ it.

He hated it when he knew that he'd done something wrong...

Rodney sighed heavily and looked around him for something like a hiding spot. That was the difficult part of his plan. He needed to stay near his improvised beacon so that he and his rescue party wouldn't miss each other but at the same time, he needed to be able to move fast in case Jackson found him.

A movement to his right catched his attention however and he was about to say something like "Wow, that was fast!" before he recognized the person that had just totally soundlessly rounded the corner.

_'God, this isn't fair!'_

There he had been running from this psycho for the last half an hour and then they just meet each other like they were both taking a walk in the park? Wild chases weren't supposed to end this...this...._random!_

Jackson stared at him with just the same amount of shock and surprise as Rodney, before a big smile appeared on his face. "Precious..."

Jackson's voice pulled Rodney out of his momentary stupor and he turned around and tried to run away once more. He didn't get far however since his ankle chose that exact moment to refuse its cooperation.

The fall was hard and painful and Rodney had just enough time to curse his ankle once again and to rest upon his elbows before a large hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him on his back so hard that the back of his head collided with the floor. Rodney was momentarily dazed it took him a few moments to register the heavy weight that had settled on his thights.

Well, at least he wouldn't have to worry about that hiding-place anymore, since he could still see the console from his position on the floor.

He just wondered why he found that not the least bit reassuring...

* * *

Elizabeth was worried.

She was worried and anxious and she was annoyed because she didn't seem to be able to feel anything else than those two emotions. They had been her constant companions these past few days. Since John had shown her those damn letters to be exact.

She had known that this _'Scientist's Lover'_ needed help but she had never really thought that he could be a threat. Never thought that one of her own people could be a danger to them.

Heck, they already had to deal with intergalactic vampires and races that would love to take over their city. Wasn't that enough? Did they really have to deal with a deranged stalker among their own people on top of that?

Rodney was missing for almost an hour now and she hadn't heard anything from John for at least 20 minutes. And the last conversation she'd had with him, hadn't been a nice one.

Elizabeth really couldn't understand how John could be so reckless. To split up was in her opinion really not the best thing that they could have done. But John hadn't wanted to hear it. He had told her something about Rodney's dignity and his sense of shame and that he at least had to try to find him alone. His words had summoned some disturbing images and she hadn't argued much longer. She had been almost sick with worry after that and cursed her lively imagination.

And to make matters worse, when Sheppard had reached the lab where they'd suspected Rodney there had been no sign of him other than his abandoned laptop. Sheppard had told her that it looked like they had left in a hurry. Elizabeth just hoped that Rodney had been able to leave under his own strength.

"Dr. Weir?"

She refocused her concentration on the technican that had called her and Dr. Kusanagi who was swaying in the seat besides him. Elizabeth had wanted to send her to bed but the young woman had been so adamant to stay and help that she couldn't do it. And with Radek in the infirmary she was the best shot they had.

The two of them had worked on a way to recalibrate the bio sensors so they would reach the part where McKay was suppossed to be. Elizabeth's hope however quickly faded when she saw both of them staring at the monitor in confusion rather than exitement.

"Did you find something?"

"We actually don't know..." At her questioning look the technican turned the laptop so she could see the monitor and a little red dot which was blinking in the corner. "This appeared just a few seconds ago, without any warning. We were checking this part of the city just a few weeks ago for any damages after the storm. But this looks like..."

A gasp from Miko cut him off and drew Elizabeth's attention to her. "What is it?"

Miko wordlessly tapped a few keys and suddenly the red dot was replaced with numbers and equations. They were nothing more than glibberish for Elizabeth but Mikos eyes were roaming over them like it was the latest Bestseller. Her face was red with exitement and she actually grinned like an idiot. "It's the exact same kind of power fluctuation that I discovered a few hours ago. Just in another part of the city. Actually... it isn't too far away from where I discovered the first one!"

Her eyes locked with Elizabeth's. "Dr. Weir, do you think that Dr. McKay...?"

"Of course he did!" Elizabeth cheered, hope building in her chest for the first time since this whole mess started. "He always tells us what a genius he is, doesn't he?"

She didn't wait for an answer and instead activated her radio.

"Dr. Weir to Colonel Sheppard. ... John, we know where Rodney is..."

* * *

Rodney found himself pinned yet again, but this time he was lying on the ground and that made the whole situation so much more oppressive. He hadn't thought that that was even possible.

The scientist didn't even try to push Jackson off of him. He knew how immovable the man could be from their last encounter. Instead he striked out and tried to punch that leering smile out of Jackson's face.

He cried out in surprise and pain when his wrist was caught in midair and before he could even raise his other hand, it was catched as well in a tight grasp. He could only watch, while Jackson pinned his arms on either side of his head and readjusted his position on Rodney's thights.

Rodney panicked and he squirmed and buckled under Jacksons weight. His legs were trashing without doing much damage and he turned and twisted his wrists until he couldn't feel his hands anymore. He was desperate in his struggles and with every passing minute the small lump of dread that had settled in the pit of his stomach grew until he had the feeling that it was crushing him.

The rational part of Rodney knew that Jackson was only waiting until he had exhausted himself with his struggling. But another part, the panicked, terrified, _'I-don't-wanna-get-raped'_ part, didn't care. So Rodney squirmed and stuggled and trashed in Jacksons grasp until the adrenaline rush was finally over and he was aching all over. By the time his body refused to move anymore, he was panting and sweating like he had run a marathon and his vision was dizzy and blurred.

And he was terrified to the core.

"Done?" The bastard had the nerve to look totally unruffled and calm and was even smirking down on him.

"Let go of me!" Rodney blinked in surprise as soon as the words left his mouth. His voice sounded raspy and overused. He must have yelled at the top of his lungs without even noticing it. God, he had probably screamed like a little girl...

"No, I won't!"

_'Okay' _Rodney thought uneasy. _'That's new.'_

Jackson's voice was tight and he was frowning. But Rodney thought that he didn't look angry but confused. "Why are you so resistant? I know that you want this..."

"I DON'T WANT THIS YOU IDIOT!"

Rodney didn't know where he found the strength and the courage to scream like that, he just did.

He was fed up with this! With being pushed around and ambushed in dark corridors. With Jackson putting words into his mouth and insisting that he 'wanted this'! He had never said anything like that, had never acted like he wanted this. Fuck, he hadn't even known this man before today! Lt. Jackson had been just another faceless Marine, not even worth remembering.

He had wanted NOTHING of this!

The hands on his wrists tightened painfully but Rodney didn't even feel it. His body had gone numb, while his brain tried to process what he was seeing.

Jackson was laughing.

After mere seconds, where it had looked like he was about to strangle Rodney, he had suddenly begun to laugh hysterically.

The sound chilled Rodney to the bone, because it was this sound, that made Rodney finally realize that this man wouldn't listen to anything he said. Jackson was long since over the edge. He just wasn't _capable_ of thinking clearly anymore. Nothing Rodney could say or do would be able to stop this man. He was completely and utterly at his mercy.

And at this very moment, Rodney knew that Jackson wouldn't show any mercy.

The helplessness and complete loss of control was so overwhelming that Rodney felt tears of despair prickle behind his eyes. Just sheer will power stopped them from falling. He wouldn't give this man the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

Rodney thought about his team and a spark of resistance that he had thought long erased, flared in his chest. He, Dr. Rodney McKay, was part of the best team Atlantis had to offer. He would deal with this and he wouldn't stop fighting. No matter what happened in the end, he wanted to be able to say that he had done everything he could to stop it. Even if it shouldn't be enough.

Rodney raised his hips with so much force, that Jackson almost lost his grip on his wrists. Pride welled inside of Rodney when the laughter stopped and Jackson actually looked astonished.

"Precious, I know that you think that you don't want this. But," and with that he began to place kisses along Rodney's jaw, "I promise that you'll like this over time."

"Over time?" Rodney asked and tried to escape those lips. "Do you think that no one will notice that I am gone? 'Cause I have to tell you, I'm way too important to just disappear unnoticed..."

"Oh I'm sure that they'll search for us. But Atlantis is vast and the bio sensors don't reach that far. Don't worry, love. We'll just hide. It'll be so romantic!"

Rodney couldn't help but snort. This guy couldn't be serious! "So you want to hide in the abandoned parts of the city and what? Raid the kitchen when everyone else is sleeping? Do you really think that you'll get away with this sorry excuse of a plan?"

The answer he got was a maniacal chuckle but it was the only answer he'd needed.

_'Why do I even ask? Psychopaths always think they'll get away with it. That's why they're psychopaths!'_

Jackson straightened again and while Rodney appreciated the loss of contact with this mans lips, he really didn't like the glint in his eyes.

"Enough talk, Precious." And there he was again, invading Rodney's personal space and trying to kiss him. Rodney quickly averted his face and hoped that he wouldn't get whiplash. "I waited so long for this! Please don't avert your beautiful face!"

Rodney couldn't see the pleading look on Jackson's face since his eyes were closed but he could feel how his arms were forced above his head and how one large hand took his wrists in a vice like grip.

He caught his breath when Jacksons other hand started to roam over his torso in slow, almost teasing movements. Jackson took his time to inspect every inch of his upper body, slowly unzipping his jacket, playing with the fabric of his T-Shirt and lifting its hem until Rodneys stomach lay free. Rodney shivered when the cold air met his skin but he shivered even more when Jackson's hand got dangerously close to his crotch. "W-Wait..." he whimpered and hated himself for his weakness. Jackson hadn't done anything yet, other than touch him, but he was already a nervous wreck.

To Rodney's great relief, the hand retreated before it could actually touch anything down there and he had to bite his lip from sobbing in relief. Under other circumstances he might have found those touches arousing, Jackson had obviously practice with such things, but now he just wanted to rip that hand away, rush into a shower and stay there, preferably for days.

Jackson's hand slipped under his T-shirt and Rodney gasped when Jackson's cold hand landed on his chest.

God, how could his hands be so cold? Rodney remembered Sheppards hands. Always soft, but above all, always warm. He fiercely shook his head and banished Sheppard out of his thoughts. He didn't want to think about John right now. Shouldn't think about him. John didn't deserve to be compared with this man. The man who was violating him, humiliating him and worst of all, played with him like he was some kind of mindless toy. No one deserved to be compared to that monster!

Jackson's movements got more and more confident until he finally pinched one of Rodney's nipples. The scientist shrieked and arched his back, everything to get away from these fingers. "S-Stop it, damnit!"

The fingers disappeared and the hand slipped out from under his shirt and for a split, wonderful second, Rodney had the insane idea that the man had actually listened to him. That he would just stand up, excuse himself and go away.

Before disillusion could set in however, someone grabbed his chin and forced it into a slightly raised position.

Rodney knew what was coming and that he could do nothing to stop it, but he babbled and writhed nonetheless, his body and mouth not yet realizing that it was futile. "W-W-Wait! Please, stop! You don't want to..." The rest of his pleading was cut off when Jacksons mouth crashed onto his in a grotesque imitation of a kiss.

It wasn't as bad as Rodney'd imagined it.

It was worse.

Although utterly exhausted, Rodney began to trash yet again. The hand that had hold his chin was gone now, but it didn't help him much, because his head was painfully forced against the hard surface underneath it. Rodney could do nothing to escape this demanding mouth. The only damage control he could do was to keep his own lips tightly pressed together.

Jackson meanwhile, licked and bit his bottom lip none too gently and demanded entry, which Rodney wouldn't allow him. The man on top of him seemed to realize that too because the kiss got even more desperate, the bites and licks even more insisting and even though Rodney could feel how his lip was tearing under that treatment, he kept his mouth tightly shut. He didn't want this man inside of him. Not ever!

He was so focused on what was going on above, that he didn't notice the hand that was gripping his waistband and how it was slowly unzipping his pants.

He did notice however, how the hand crept into his trousers and he _definitely_ noticed, how it squeezed his cock through the material of his boxers.

It came so sudden and unexpected that Rodney couldn't stop the gasp of shock and disgust that escaped his lips. And suddenly there was Jackson's tongue in his mouth, exploring and darting from one end to another. There was nothing gentle about the way Jackson was ravaging his mouth and Rodney moaned in displeasure and pain.

His protests were muffled and his screams shallowed, while dark spots began to dance in front of his eyes.

He needed air and he needed to stop the hand that was slowly beginning to pull his pants down.

Rodney remembered his earlier vow and he thought about John, Ronon and Teyla and how they would want him to hang on until they got to him. He didn't need any more reassurances and in the split of a second he knew what he had to do. Although he really wished that he wouldn't have to.

And so, Rodney McKay rammed his teeth into the tongue of one Lt. Jackson. Hard.

He was rather satisfied with the outcome and at the same time clearly disgusted. Satisfied, because Jackson drew back with a yelp and Rodney was finally able to breath again and disgusted, because his bite had been hard enough to draw blood.

In a moment of boldness and frenzy, Rodney spit Jackson his own blood into his face. It was a direct hit that would have made Sheppard proud and it was a damn good feeling. Absolutely gross to say the least, but also really good.

The back of Jackson's hand that immediately collided with his cheek wasn't so nice though, but it helped Rodney come out of his state of shock.

The whole ordeal couldn't have lasted more than a minute, but it was a minute that Rodney clearly didn't want to repeat. Rodney felt already awful and he was sure that he had just got a glimpse of what was yet to come.

"Precious," Jackson said, and the way he lisped was kind of funny, while the menace in his voice really wasn't. "...so you decided that you want to be stubborn, eh?" His hand disappeared behind his back and when it came back it was holding a knife. "I wanted it to be as nice as possible for you but you leave me no choice..."

The words washed over Rodney because he had only eyes for the knife.

"Seriously? A knife? _Again_?" He just couldn't help the biting sarcasm that coloured his words. This situation was so ridiculous and so goddamn horrifying at the same time that he really didn't know whether he should laugh or cry. "What's with you psychos and knifes? Do you get a special discount when you buy them? _'Buy one, get one free?'_ Is it that?"

Jackson ignored him and stared at the knife and then at Rodney's shirt as if contemplating if he should just cut it off, before it abruptly jumped to his throat.

Rodney shallowed hard, fearing the worst, but Jackson didn't even look at him but stared into the shadows to their right. When he leaned down to Rodneys ear, his eyes stayed glued on something that just he could see. "You are mine and nothing you do will change that." He leaned back and Rodney saw that wicked smile again while Jackson still refused to look at him. "And neither will you!"

Rodney wondered briefly if Jackson was also schizophrenic in addition the being bi-polar but then he heard a noise from where Jackson was staring.

He knew that sound. It was a sound that he'd heard often enough to recognize it in his sleep. An exaggerated sigh, coupled with mock regret.

And he recognized those boots and those pants. And while his gaze wandered higher, he realized that he also knew those hands, those warm and gentle hands that were currently holding a gun which was directed at Jackson's head.

Rodney wanted to cry and to shout this man's name in relief when he finally reached the face, the hazel eyes and the messy black hair.

But what almost undid him in the end, was the cocky and superior _'I-told-you-so'_ grin and the lazy drawl.

"You wanna bet?"

_**

* * *

**_

A/N

: Okay I really didn't want to leave you with another of my evil, yet lame cliffhangers (I am one unimaginative bitch when it comes to cliffies) but I had to stop here or this chapter would have been waaaaaay too long and rushed and just like... a big ugly scar! Sorry, but that will be the last evil cliffi (of this kind), promise! Please bear with me! 

_The next chaper should be up Sunday (hey I'm sensing a pattern here...), so review fast and review much! LOL_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Stargate Atlantis, nor do I own the series 'Profiler'_

_**A/N:** Hadn't really had the chance to read this over, so there are probably mistakes everywhere...-.-" Short but intense, like this author's note!^^ Enjoy!_

_And thanks for your many reviews! Love them all!_

* * *

19. What's on TV?

Colonel John Sheppard wasn't a man that cursed easily. Oh, he did curse and he could curse, no question there. But he only did it when the situation warranted it. And this was a situation that would definitely warrant it.

John had rather mixed feelings right now. On the one hand, he was proud of himself that he had trained his soldiers so well. But on the other hand, because he _had_ trained them so well, he hadn't been able to get near enough before Jackson had discovered him. He guessed that it was probably kind of ironic...

"Why don't you put that thing away, Colonel."

Calm and in control. Oh yeah, he had trained his men well... But John got what it takes too! His posture was casual and relaxed, while his sharp eyes took everything in. He didn't like what he was seeing.

Rodney was lying on the floor with Lt. Jackson on top of him. He had somehow managed to twist himself into a position that had to be really uncomfortable for his arms, which were pinned above his head. His lips were puffy and there were little spots of blood on his chin and in the corner of his mouth.

The pink blush on his cheeks couldn't quite hide how pale his face really was. John could only imagine how embarrassed his friend must have been right now. He was glad that he hadn't informed Benson and DiMartino, like Elizabeth had wanted him to.

The obvious relief on Rodney's face when he had seen John and the unshed tears in his eyes, had made it incredibly hard for John to stay professional. When the Colonel had seen the open pants and the hickey on Rodney's neck, he had stuggled to repress the overwhelming desire to kill Jackson. _'What exactly happened here?'_

"Put it down Colonel!"

And John did. If Rodney's painful hiss when Jackson'd pressed the knife deeper into his skin, hadn't convince him to do what the man wanted (for now), then it was the way the hand, that was holding the knife, was shaking. Either Jackson was more afraid than he let on, or he was just plain pissed off. And somehow, John doubted that it was the former.

The resounding bang when his gun hit the ground, made Rodney visibly flinch and his eyes held a mix of incomprehension and betrayal when he stared at John.

But John didn't blame him. The guy was probably too scared to process how much of a disadvantage John had right now, despite the gun. Jackson was a Marine. He would notice when Sheppard was about to shoot him and John couldn't believe that he would let that happen without killing Rodney with one fluid move in the process. Something else that John had probably teached him during training. Oh the irony...

John slouched against the wall and crossed his arms. Everything to show Jackson that he wasn't intimidated, although he most certainly was. He had to stay in control of the situation. One wrong move, and everything could be over.

It was one of the rare moments where John Sheppard was at a loss. How did you convince a lovelorn psychopath to let go of the object his obsession. Although he was obviously crazy, John couldn't imagine that Jackson was stupid. He would know exactly what he had to expect...

Rodney was apparently fed up with the silence and began to squirm under the man that held him down.

"You know John, it's really nice of you to graze us with your presence. Maybe you could give me a hand here? You know, since you are already here..."

Sheppard breathed in relief. A Rodney that was still able to throw sarcastic remarks into your face, was a relatively okay Rodney.

John's eyebrow twitched a bit when Rodney yelped in pain when the knife dug deeper into his skin and drew a fine line of blood.

"Why do you call him John? He doesn't _deserve_ it, Precious! He is nothing to you!"

That's when John had an idea. He was a bit hestitant about it, because it could also go horrible wrong. He wasn't a psychiatrist so he couldn't possible know how Jackson would react, but if he was right, then it would give him the opportunity to take the man out without killing Rodney in the process.

John waited until Rodney made eye contact with him. Jackson didn't even notice the totally soundless communication that took place right in front of his eyes:

A glare. _'Save me already, or I'm going to be really pissed!'_

A wink. _'Oh don't be like that. I have a plan, just play along.'_

The roll of an eye. _'You and your plans. We're doomed!'_

A smirk and a nod. _'Trust me.'_

And Rodney did. John could see it in the way the fear and panik left his eyes, just to be replaced with awarness and anticipation instead.

John just hoped that he would live up to his expectations.

"Oh, don't be so hard on him Jack! This is Rodney we are talking about. And even_ I_ would be a little bit peeved, if my first date ended with a knife against my neck." He shook his head in mock confusion and tried to sound genuinely curious. "Didn't you say that you love him? Pal, that's a weird way of showing him, if you ask me."

Jackson stared at him like he was crazy and wow, but again with the irony...

"I love him!" he snarled. "But if I can't have him, no one can!"

Sheppard forced himself to laugh at that and it wasn't as hard as he would have thought. "Oh come on! Cliche much? This has to be the lamest thing you could have said. No wonder Rodney isn't interested in you..."

"SHUT UP!"

Jackson's face was a mask of fury and the knife was shaking rapidly by now. But John also noticed that it had inched away from Rodney's throat a bit.

Rodney meanwhile didn't seem to notice though. He swallowed hard and send Sheppard a confused, yet irritated glare.

"Yeah, Colonel! Shut. up."

John focused solely on Rodney now and deliberately ignored the fuming Lieutnant. "I know you think it's funny too, Rodney! Considering whom he is talking to..."

"I know who I'm talking to! I'm talking to the bastard that tried to seduce Rodney. That tried to take him away from me!"

John closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was it. Either Jackson reacted exactly how John had imagined he would, or he was about to make a big mistake. One way or another, it was too late to back down now. He had to trust his instincts and the little knowledge of psychologie he had archieved by watching TV. John couldn't help but smirk inwardly. Rodney would kill him if he knew that John's plan was based solely on an episode of 'Profiler' he had once seen...

"And you are wrong again, my friend. I didn't _try_. I did!" He changed his relaxed and carefree slouch into an agressive stance, took a step forward and gave Jackson a look that promised a slow, painful death. "So do me a favour and keep your dirty hands off what's mine!"

John didn't know who looked more shell-shocked. Jackson or Rodney.

Jackson was absolutely livid by now. His face was red and sweaty and his mouth opened and closed like a fish. The comment had clearly pushed him over the edge. But John kept his gaze on Rodney. Rodney, who looked like John had stabbed him in the back and did him a great favor by doing so.

Rodney who just stared at him.

John had the urge to look away but held the gaze, although it seemed to burn him with its intensity. Suddenly something dark passed over Rodney's face and he turned it quickly away. But John had seen it though. The disappointment, the hurt and the self contempt. And John knew exactly what it meant.

Rodney had believed his words. Just for a brief second, he had believed what John had told Jackson, before he'd realized that it was just part of the plan.

It pained John because, although it _was_ part of the plan, it was also the truth. But he couldn't say that right now. Didn't want to tell him until they were alone. He couldn't take care of Rodney's feelings right now.

He had to take care of his life first.

"You're lying!" Jackson shouted, totally ignorant of the inner turmoil that the other two suffered right now. John noticed that the knife had inched even further away from Rodney's throat and was now mostly pointed at him. The sight gave John a bit more self-confidence. His plan seemed to work after all. It was time for the deathblow!

"I'm afraid I'm not. Sorry." he said in a voice that clearly said that he wasn't. "Face it! As long as I'm around Rodney's never gonna be yours!"

When Jackson uttered a primeval scream and released his hold on Rodney to lunge at John instead, the knife raised high above his head, every military training forgotten in his rage, the Colonel was ridiculously grateful for crime series. Almost as grateful as he was for the gun that he had hidden in his waistband beforehand.

The end was rather anticlimatic for a hostage situation.

The shot was deafening and Jackson fell like a stone when the bullet hit his kneecap. A shot in the thight would have probably done the trick, but this was way more painful. And although John would never kill a man that definitely needed professional help just because he couldn't stand him, he wasn't perfect either.

He kicked the knife out of Jacksons lax hand and watched with morbid fascination how the man writhed and screamed in agony. But John couldn't say that he regretted his shot. Nope, not really.

Rodney meanwhile had stared at John for a few seconds, before he quickly moved to stand and close his pants with hasty, uncoordinated movements. John was surprised to see nothing but contempt on Rodney's face while he watched Jackson, sobbing and screaming his name. But it was quickly gone and replaced with a mask of indifference when he limped over to John. John felt a lump of dread in his stomach when he realized that Rodney didn't come very close and wouldn't meet his eye.

"Well, that was fun!" The sarcasm sounded forced and almost painful. The scientist raised his voice to be heard over Jackson's wailing. "As much as I'd love hanging around here and getting deaf, I guess we should call Carson, before this man bleeds to death."

Rodney didn't actually sound like he would mind that one bit. John couldn't help but wonder how much actually happened between the two of them before he'd arrived.

He wanted to ask but this wasn't the place, nor the time. John couldn't help but think, that he'd started to cross a certain line with his earlier words. A line that he had to cross fully, if he wanted to keep Rodney. He could go back and hope that both of them would forget what had happened here, but John wasn't surprised to realized that he didn't want to go back, not even a tiny bit.

They had to cross that line together, but not here, not now. Not with Jackson screaming Rodney's name like some kind of crazy mantra besides them, and not when Rodney apparently felt too awkward to even look at John.

So he just radioed Carson and Elizabeth and gave his friend as much space as he needed.

For now.

* * *

Rodney was asleep on his feet by the time Carson was finished with him and told him he could leave the infirmary.

Well, the doctor had offered him to sleep in the infirmary, but Rodney had declined. He'd said that he wanted to be alone and Carson had just nodded. After all, the check up had been an uncomfortable procedure for both men.

Carson had been more than displeased with the state of his ankle, but assured him that nothing was broken. Rodney had even managed to convince him to give him just a crutch instead of the hated wheelchair. The bruises on his wrists and upper arms hadn't needed much treatment, but Carson had sent a nurse to get him some soothing ointment. Rodney just hoped that they would fade rather soon. They looked exceptionally livid against his pale skin and he wouldn't be able to hide those on his wrists.

The last thing Rodney needed were annoying questions.

And suddenly, Carson had acted all antsy and sent everyone away. He had been really insistent and so neither John, nor Elizabeth had argued much longer. The both of them had gone to Elizabeth's office so John could fill her in on recent events and Rodney had been really grateful for that. They're worried glances had become rather annoying.

The only nurse that had shift right then, had been sent to the brig to check up on Jackson's leg. Rodney had been more than surprised, when Carson had only bandaged the leg and given him some painkillers, before sending the Lieutnant straight to the brig with a muttered 'Don't want that kind of man in my infirmary'. It had been totally unlike the kind doctor. Almost as unlike as the awkward shifting from one foot to another when they had been finally alone. Rodney had been greatly confused by this behaviour, until Carson had laid a hand on his knee and looked him straight in the eye.

"Rodney...do I need to do a rape kit?"

The question had been so full of anxiousness and compassion that Rodney had been momentarily stunned speechless. He hadn't even thought that Carson could think that Jackson had done more damage than a hickey, bruises and probably some nightmares for the next couple of weeks.

"Rodney?"

"No!" Rodney shot his friend a genuine and hopefully reassuring smile. "No Carson, you don't!"

Carson had stared at him for a few seconds to gauge his honesty until he'd finally grinned and a lot of tension left his shoulders.

"Good." He'd patted Rodney's knee once more. "That's good."

After that the tension between them had eased considerably while Carson bandaged his newly swollen ankle and the silence had been more of the comfortable kind. Rodney was grateful for the silence, because it gave him time to think.

If Carson had thought that he'd been...well, _that..._ did Elizabeth think so too? And Miko?

The woman had been almost hysterical when an exasperated Carson had told her to go to bed, until Rodney had assured her that he was okay and that she was of no use to him tomorrow when she didn't get some sleep already. Rodney knew that it had been Miko who had discovered his beacon and he would thank her. Rodney-style. A certain young Doctor would get really nice projects for a couple of weeks...

_John._

Oh god, did John actually think that too? He had after all found them, Jackson leaning over him and Rodney with open pants.

Did John think that he'd been too late?

Rodney couldn't stop thinking about Sheppard while he'd limped to his quarters, crutch firmly in his hand. He still hadn't stopped when he reached his quarters and rested his head against the door instead of entering it. He knew that he had to put things right as soon as possible, but he was so damn tired and just the thought of speaking to John right now made him uneasy.

_~'So do me a favour and keep your dirty hands off what's mine!'~_

God, how his heart had hammered in his chest at those words. He was still blushing when he thought about that. One moment he had felt so elated and happy, just to feel utterly crushed and resenting the next.

But he wasn't angry with Sheppard. He was angry with himself.

He should have known that Sheppard hadn't been serious. That he had just provoked Jackson, petty and jealous Jackson, into attacking him rather than cutting Rodney's throat.

Rodney realized that he was just hurting himself with his constant hoping and dreaming. He finally had to stop, or he would never be able to look Sheppard in the eye ever again. Not without being reminded of his words today and the pain he felt now.

_~'As long as I'm around, Rodney's never gonna be yours!'~_

Rodney smiled bitterly. Sheppard'd hit _that_ nail square on the head. He owned Rodney in some way without even realizing it. And it had to stop.

With a heavy sigh, Rodney finally thought the door to his quarters open. He would sleep through the next day and then bury himself in his work. He would just avoid Sheppard for the next couple of days. Only until he finally got rid of those damned feelings. How hard could that be?

At least that had been the plan, until Rodney McKay entered his quarters and came face to face with exactly the man that he'd wanted to avoid.

* * *

_A/N: Oh look! A different kind of evil cliffhanger! I just can't help it, eh!?_

_And I really have no idea whatsover of what a psychopath like Jackson would react like! I'm like John there: my only source of information is the television!^^ Well I don't really know any psychos...if you disregard my brother...lol_

_Next time chapter 20: 'Remember that time we crossed the line?'_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Disclaimer:**__ Nothing mine...narf_

_**A/N:**__ And here is the reason why I let Jackson kiss our poor Rodney! Yeeeees there was a plan behind that, believe it or not! _

_I have actually mixed feelings about this because this chapter has to be romantic but still in character and I can't shake the feeling that it is a little bit rushed... well, tell me if I did a good enough job or if I sucked._

* * *

20. Remember that time we crossed the line?

Sheppard sat on Rodney's bed like he belonged there _('No Rodney! Bad Rodney!')_ and looked as surprised as the scientist felt.

"Carson let you go already? I was sure that he would keep you over night..."

"Well he didn't." Rodney huffed. "And why should he? There's nothing wrong with me." He limped towards his desk to place down his crutch and Sheppard raised an amused eyebrow that practically screamed _'Really?'_.

Rodney decided to ignore his embarrassing slip for now, but something else was bugging him. "When you thought that I wouldn't be here, then what are you doing here?"

Sheppard looked a little bit sheepish but covered it with a smile and reached for something behind him. "Just wanted to bring this around so you would find it when you came back."

Rodney's bad mood diminished a little bit when he saw what Sheppard had brought him. He limped over to the man and accepted the object with a genuine smile.

"My jacket. Where was it?"

Sheppard leaned back and grinned up at him, obviously pleased with himself. "Someone found it in one of the labs and brought it to Elizabeth who gave it to me."

It was a lie.

Rodney wasn't stupid and he knew Sheppard better than the man probably suspected. Everyone else would have taken the casual answer for the truth, but Rodney had noticed the slight hestitation before Sheppard had answered and the stiff posture he tried to hide under that slouch. John was lying to him and Rodney didn't mind at all. If he was honest with himself, he didn't really want to know where (or in whose quarters) his jacket was found. Oh, he would wash it at least a dozen times before he would even consider wearing it again, but when he did so, he could at least act like there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. And he was grateful for that.

"I see."

The following silence was uncomfortable, to say the least, but it gave Rodney the opportunity to ponder about another mystery. "And why the hell are you sitting on my bed when you just wanted to deliver this?"

Sheppard stared down at the bed as if he just now realized where he was and then smiled up at him as if there was nothing wrong. "Your bed is way more comfy than mine. I thought I'd take a nap while you're not here. You know, since I'm here..." he drawled, repeating Rodney's earlier words.

Rodney just spluttered something unintelligible. He wondered whether this wasn't the first time that Sheppard had used his bed while he was in the infirmary. And he wondered why he wasn't as angry as he probably should be about that.

Rodney found it suddenly incredible hard to look at Sheppard, so he averted his eyes and they relapsed into silence. God, would it always be like this from now on? Awkward silence and averted gazes everytime they were alone?

Rodney cursed under his breath. If he could have evaded Sheppard just for a few days, just long enough to get his feelings under control, it would have been okay. But Sheppard just had to be here, waiting for him, didn't he? He just had to make things even more complicated than they already were.

And why the hell was he still sitting there, staring at Rodney like he expected him to say something? Was Rodney the only one who found this silence unbearable? Was he the only one that was aware of the tension between them?

Rodney was about to ask Sheppard to leave so he could go to bed, when the Colonel fixed him with his _'I-am-so-serious'_ glare. "Rodney, we need to talk."

Rodney swallowed. He knew that tone. Sheppard's no-nonsense voice, the one where he wouldn't let you off the hook before he got what he wanted. The one that promised no escape.

But that didn't mean that Rodney couldn't try.

"Listen Colonel," he snapped while he lowered himself besides Sheppard to relieve his aching foot, "I'm really tired right now and not in the mood for one of your little 'Everything-will-be-alright' speeches, so could we put this off until I'm feeling a little bit more human?" _'Or until my heart doesn't beat a mile a minute anymore when I'm around you.'_ he added silently.

John was silent for a few moments and just looked at him with unreadable eyes. He seemed to argue with himself until he finally looked away and ran a hand through his hair. "I know this must be hard but...when you need to talk about things with someone else than Heightmeyer...well, you know where to find me, right buddy?"

Rodney was flattered and confused. Sheppard looked so insecure right now, that it almost hurt.

"Of course I know John!" he spluttered, the ridiculous urge to comfort the man besides him. He dropped back on his back so that his feet still touched the ground and closed his eyes. "And I'll tell you what I told Carson: Nothing happened!" He could almost hear how Sheppard raised a sceptical eyebrow and added, "Well not exactly nothing... but nothing that I can't handle alone. You came before more could happen..."

Rodney thought that he could still feel Jackson's hands all over him, still see the crazy eyes staring down at him and still taste...

He shivered and brought a hand up to his lips to rub at them. Maybe this 'I can handle it alone' would be a little bit more difficult than he'd thought...

Sheppard had always been able to read Rodney like an open book. Like now.

"He kissed you."

Rodney didn't open his eyes but stilled his fingeres when he heard the venom and hatred in Sheppard's voice. Although he knew that they weren't directed at him, he just nodded, not trusting himself to speak right now. He felt actually ashamed, although he knew that there was nothing to be ashamed of. The urge to cry and pull himself into Sheppards arms was almost overwhelming and he hoped that John would go before he did or said something that he couldn't take back.

"You okay?"

Rodney almost laughed at that. It was just like Sheppard to ask such a stupid question. The scientist wanted to snap at him and tell him that he was, _of course_, not okay, but he couldn't. Rodney felt so utterly drained that he doubted that he would be able to even open his eyes right now.

"Rodney? Talk to me."

And Rodney wanted to. He wanted to tell Sheppard what was wrong with him. Maybe John would understand it. He had sounded so genuinely concerned right now, so desperate to help...

Rodney didn't hestitate any longer. No matter how much unrequited feelings there were on his side, they were still friends. Best friends even. If he could tell someone about this, it would be Sheppard.

"It just won't go away, you know? Jacks-...this man's taste..." He trailed off, not because he didn't want to say more, but because he couldn't. Rodney didn't know how he should explain something irrational like this and it angered him. He was a genius. He_ should_ be able to explain it.

But all he knew was that, when Jackson had kissed him, he had tasted like peppermint and something else. Something that Rodney couldn't identify, but assumed that it had been the man himself. No matter what it was, Rodney could still taste it on his tongue. He tasted it everytime he had to swallow. He had tasted it when Carson had given him that chocolate bar to raise his blood sugar level. God, he had even tasted it when he had swallowed that coffee the nurse had bought him. For the first time in his life, Rodney McKay hadn't been able to finish his coffee.

Rodney knew that it was impossible. He knew that he just imagined everything. But he couldn't help but wonder, whether it would be like this forever from now on. If everything he would eat or drink would taste a little bit like peppermint and this man.

The very idea terrified him and his fingers began to trace his lips, as if he could just rub everything away.

He didn't see how John's eyes followed the movements of his fingers.

A few minutes passed and Rodney was on the brink of sleep when the mattress dipped on his right. Somewhere in his hazy mind he realized that Sheppard must have changed positions, but he was too tired to wonder what that could mean. Suddenly there was a hand on his and pulled it away from his mouth.

"Maybe I can help with that."

Rodney forced himself to open his eyes when the hand didn't let go of his and a shadow fell over him.

And suddenly he was wide awake, staring up into the hazel eyes of John Sheppard, who was leaning over him . And before he could really gasp what was happening, there was this light pressure on his lips, so soft that he almost missed it.

It took Rodney exactly two seconds to realize that John Sheppard tasted nothing like peppermint.

* * *

John smiled into the feathery kiss. It was so like Rodney to taste like coffee and chocolate. Well, the chocolate was a surprise actually, but a pleasant one. And so was the kiss.

Rodney's lips were soft and inviting and as much as John would have loved to deepen the kiss he kept it light and soft, not wanting to force the scientist into something he didn't want. He wanted to show Rodney that he was the one in control here. After the incident with Jackson he would clearly need the security.

But Rodney had frozen under him as soon as their lips had met. He didn't respond but he didn't pull away either. He was totally unresponsive under John and it began to worry the man.

What if it was too early? What if Rodney wasn't ready for this after all that happened to him today? God, the man had looked dead on his feet when he'd entered his quarters and he had been way too silent. Silent for Rodney, that is.

But John just had to kiss him. His friend had looked so vulnerable and yet attractive, lying there, tracing his puffy lips with a finger. It was almost like Rodney had wanted John to go for him. No one could look so arousing without realizing it. Or so John had thought, but maybe he had been wrong...

Although he really didn't want to, John began to pull away and slowly let go of Rodney's hand. He pondered if he should apologize, although he wasn't sorry at all, when the hand that he'd just let go grabbed his collar and effectively stopped his retreat.

Rodney looked up at him, his face flushed and his breathing erratic. The hand on John's collar clenched and unclenched as if the scientist wasn't sure whether he should let go or hold on. Rodney's eyes were wide with arousal, anxiousness and confusion.

At the sight John felt bold enough to lean a little bit closer, which made Rodney's breath hitch, and speak in a husky low voice. "Did it help?"

Rodney just continued to stare at him like he couldn't believe what he was seeing and John briefly wondered if his genius was having a mental blackout. He was about to repeat his question, when the hand on his collar tightened and Rodney stuttered something, so soft that John almost missed it.

"Y-yeah, a bit...but, but there is still, uhm, still a bit so uhm, maybe we should...ah..."

John stared in amazement at the bubbling man beneath him. Who would have thought that all it took was a simple kiss to turn the abrasive and articulate man into a blushing and stuttering wreck. John wanted to believe that all it took was _his_ kiss and he allowed himself a possessive smile at the thought.

"No problem Rodney." he purred and let himself be pulled back down.

When their lips met this time, Rodney was much more active, arching his back to get into a more comfortable position, running a hand through Sheppard's thick hair and making little pleasant noises in the back of his throat. The noises made something funny to John's gut and he found himself praying that Rodney would make those sounds only for him. He groaned and slid his tongue into Rodney's mouth who willingly opened up to him. The kiss was passionate and even a little bit messy. It felt like hours until they had to break apart if they didn't want to suffocate.

_'Although'_ John thought dreamily while he rested his forehead against Rodney's and closed his eyes. _'that would be damn fine way to go.'_

For the next few minutes they just lay there, forehead against forehead, panting and enjoying each others body heat until Rodney broke the silence with a breathy, "Wow!".

John couldn't help but smile. "Yeah."

Because..._hell yeah_! He didn't know how he had managed to live without that until now. Not knowing what he was missing had probably helped...

Rodney however frantically shook his head and there was a hint of panic in his voice.

"No, I mean: Wow, you are gonna kill me when this mind altering alien device or drug or whatever got to you wears off!"

John laughed at that and maneuvered himself and the scientist into a position where Rodney lay half on top of him, with his head resting on John's shoulder. John tightened his arms around the man when Rodney tried to pull away, still muttering about alien drugs and how his life was over and how they should call Carson and get John to the infirmary instead of "_cuddling, for gods sake",_ and...

"Rodney."

Rodney instantly stilled. The tone had been warning and soft at the same time. It was the tone that could say _'Shut up, Rodney'_ and _'Relax Rodney'_ and _'This is real and I really do love you, Rodney'_ at the same time. It was actually amazing how much you could say with one word.

A few minutes passed before John could feel how Rodney finally relaxed against him. When he looked down he could see that his eyes were closed and his hand rested on John's chest, right on top of his heart. John didn't know whether it was a coincidence of whether Rodney wanted to feel his erratic heartbeat, but he hoped it was the latter.

"How long?"

John needed a few seconds before he realized what Rodney wanted to know, but he hestitated with the answer. Three days had passed since he had seen Rodney, covered in mud and laughing delightfully at his predicament. And although that had been the moment when it had hit him, John was sure that these feelings had been there for a long time. He just couldn't say since when. So he just shrugged, causing Rodney to open his bleary eyes and to lift his head a little.

"A while."

Rodney frowned, obviously not liking the vague answer before a devious smile crossed his lips. "So," he drawled, "Does that mean that I...what? _Turned you over_?"

John smirked at the gleeful expression on Rodney's face.

"I guess you did. Proud?"

Rodney settled back and yawned. "Oh well. It doesn't beat winning the Nobel Prize, but it's close."

John snorted but didn't comment any further. He waited for Rodney to ask the next question. Because that's what Rodney did. Asking question, getting the facts and either freaking out over them and declaring that they were doomed, or working on a solution to remedy the situation. John doubted that a relationship with Rodney was any different.

But Rodney stayed silent so John decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Rodney?"

"....hm?"

"You know that I love you, right?"

"..'ove ya too, 'ohn."

John sighed in relief and ran his free hand through his hair while the other rubbed Rodney's back. "Good, because I know that you are probably freaking out right now and I have to tell you, that you don't have to. 'DADT' won't be a problem if we are careful and I'm absolutely willing to take the risk, okay?"

"...uhn."

"So Rodney," John's voice grew soft while he place a kiss on Rodney's head. "you really really don't have to worry, alright? Everything is going to be alright and I'll be always there for you okay?"

God, that sounded cheesy, but it had to be said and John didn't care if Rodney would rebuke him for it. He even expected it. Aside from the fact that it never came.

The man besides him had gone utterly still and when John craned his head to see his face he saw that Rodney's eyes were closed and that his face was utterly slack.

John poked him a little but the scientist didn't even stir.

"Did you fall asleep on me?" he whispered, amusement evident in his voice. There was no answer.

John grinned like an idiot. There he had spilled his guts to Rodney and tried to reassure the man and then he had slept through half of it.

_'Well, hardly surprising.'_ John thought, _'He looks beat.'_

He contemplated to go and let Rodney sleep but he was kinda trapped beneath the man. He could probably slip out from under Rodney without even waking him if the dark circles were any indication of his state of exhaustion, but John realized that he didn't want to go. He felt at ease here with Rodney pressed to his side, more than he would in his own quarters.

John shifted until he could see Rodney's face and watched him sleep until his own eyelids began to drop.

There was no going back now. They had crossed the line. Irreversible.

And it didn't matter that Rodney had slept through half of it.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:

_Lame? Maybe, but I told you from the start that I wouldn't write anything graphic! I'm just not ready yet and I feel the boys aren't either. You also don't sleep with the guy on your first date, do you?! And even some of you scolded Sheppard for his bad timing! You should have seen this coming! lol _

_There will be a short epilogue and then we are through...*tries to hold back her tears* __So review, cause it will (almost) be your last chance!^^_

_**Last chapter 21: The morning after**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Disclaimer**: Not mine!_

_**A/N**: Thank you's and thoughts at the end of this epiloque, But I would like to ask you to take this opportunity and review. Even if you never reviewed before, take your chance to tell me what I should work on in the future or maybe even what I should keep doing in future stories. Your advice can only help me to improve!_

* * *

21. The Morning After

Rodney groaned and snuggled closer to his pillow.

Oh, what a nice dream he'd had!

Sheppard had been there and he had waited for Rodney in his quarters and they had kissed and John had told Rodney that he loved him. Sheppard had even reassured him and told him something like, that he was willing to take the risk...whatever that meant.

The dream had been so nice actually, that he wanted to go back to sleep as soon as possible and he buried his head into his pillow. God, his bed was really warm and seemed even more comfy than usually. Was that even possible? It also smelled different, although Rodney couldn't say why.

"Hmm..." Rodney hummed and smiled dreamily into his pillow. Into his rather hard pillow, which was..._laughing? _

_'What the-?'_

"Rise and shine sleepyhead!"

Rodney's eyes snapped open and he stared at his pillow. A pillow that showed a disturbing resemblance to John Sheppard. John Sheppard who smiled down on him and placed a kiss on his temple...

And suddenly, everything came crushing down and Rodney jumped from the bed. The cold air hit him mercilessly and he began to limp through the room.

"My God that wasn't a dream! You were... y-you _are_ really here and you...and I..." He stopped in his tracks as a horrible thought occured to him.

He threw his hands into the air and uttered a strangled laugh. "And I fell asleep on you! The hottest man alive walks into my room and I fall asleep on him! What the hell is _wrong_ with me?"

Somehow he found that even more disturbing than the fact that Colonel John Sheppard returned his feelings.

Okay, so he'd been pretty exhausted at the time, but...but this was Sheppard, _for god's sake_! You didn't fall asleep on Sheppard! What would the man think of him now?

Strong arms pulled him into an embrace, effectively stopping his inner panic attack. Rodney could feel Sheppard's breath on his neck.

"'Hottest man alive'? You know how to coax a man, don't you Rodney?"

Sheppard placed light kisses on Rodney's neck and the scientist shivered with arousal when he realized that this wasn't just a dream anymore. Sheppard was really here, doing those thing to him.

As if he'd read his mind, John took Rodney's hand and squeezed it a bit.

"It's real Rodney."

Rodney rolled his eyes to hide his embarrassment.

"Of course it is, Colonel! Not even my imagination could come up with morning hair like yours." He pointed to Sheppard's head which was a mess of black locks. They were sticking out at odd angles. Rodney found the sight actually quite endearing, but the peeved look on Sheppard's face wasn't too bad either.

"It doesn't always look like that." John drawled, while he tried to smooth his hair with his hands, "Only when there is a scientist with me, who tries to squeeze the life out of me in his sleep."

Rodney blushed and was about to say something totally smart and witty, when a tender kiss stopped him cold.

_'And still no peppermint...'_

John pulled away after a few seconds (clearly hestitant, much to Rodney's delight) and began to gather his things.

"I have to go. Elizabeth radioed a few seconds ago. The Daedalus came back early and I have to oversee Jackson's transfer."

Rodney had the distinct feeling that it was more a matter of_ 'want to'_ than _'have to',_ but was too relieved to do more than nod.

In a few hours, this man would be light years away and not even that seemed to be enough when Rodney was concerned. There had been no nightmares, but he assumed that that had more to do with Sheppard's presence than anything else.

"The debriefing is in four hours. Ronon and Teyla will be there too, if that's okay with you?"

Rodney ignored the question. John already knew the answer.

"They are back from the mainland?"

"Yeah." John muttered absentmindedly while he put on his shoes. " Elizabeth apparently ordered them back when it was apparent that you were missing. They arrived shortly after we found you." He finished with his shoelaches and walked over to Rodney with a smirk on his face. "I'll get you for lunch before the meeting. You know, just in case you..."_forget it."_

Rodney grumbled. The gestured air quotation marks had been unnecessary...

A quick kiss and John was gone.

Rodney stared at the door for a long time, before a smile lit up his face. It had been so natural. To kiss John and to touch John. Like it was nothing unusual, like they had done it for years.

And Rodney was amazed how little their behaviour had changed. They hadn't really acted any different than usual. The banter was still there and so was the familiarity.

It made Rodney wonder if, in a totally weird and unconscious way, they had been lovers all along, just without the physical factor that came with a relationship. It was a mind blowing thought that left Rodney all jittery and excited.

He let himself fall on his bed, the bed where they had spend their first night together....and he had _slept_ through it!

But it didn't bother him as much as it had a few minutes ago, because now he could be certain that it wouldn't be the last time that he and John would wake up together.

And Rodney would make damn sure that, the next time, they would also fall asleep together.

THE END

* * *

A/N: Okay I royally suck at endings...ah well.

The journey is over... and what a journey it was! I was going through some really tough times while I worked on this (still am actually) and your support really helped me deal with it a little bit better! I want to thank you all, everyone who reviewed, alerted and favored this story! I'll always be grateful for that and I hope you'll stick with me for my next stories as well! I'm still planning to write some sort of sequel for this (got any plot ideas, tell me!), but I'm working on a NCIS story right now, so maybe you'll only get SGA one-shots for a while...but hey: Nobody knows when the muse will strike, right? Well you folks on will be the first to know!^^

Thank you all, and see you next time (cause there definitely will be a next time!^^)


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